honor does nothing but hold me back…

When the Monster Energy aftertaste tastes like girl armpits 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

This is Maisie. We can't tell if she's excited about spring, or just excited about possibly eating this flower. Either way, her enthusiasm is contagious. 14/10 (IG: maisieloupup)

On a date with Sigmund Foid and she said I “remind her of her mother.” Is this a good sign?

stand with the people of Iran or i will disintegrate you with the light of God

7000 people in the world and i cant live their lives for them. There is great chaos under the heavens, and the situation is excellent.

Had one of those teeth-falling-out dreams. When I ran my tongue over the gap, there was a new tooth sprouting. A portent of growth and good things?

Something everyone needs to understand about america is that yankistan citizens base their ideology on hype aura moments instead of principled critiques.

just in case anyone forgot im a desirable woman

sometimes i feel chopped and cooked but then i remember a rose does not lose beauty for lack of admiration

this jit cracked the code

me, using a vibrator: Ha, getting a boner tool assisted speedrun.

was playing chess and the opponent said they “mated me” and i got so bricked up i left the table.

fuckin. absolutely

Im killing myself… (remembers i am what i feed my mind) … with kindness

my swimming set

🗡️🗡️🗡️

what the heaven?

they thought i was new, they thought i couldn’t shit myself and i proved em all wrong they thought i needed a shower i just fuck like a fish im gasping for air

imagining a type of guy that talks a lot about “The Mandela Effect” specifically to gaslight people. I need a handgun NOW

Please Gods Up Above Let This Happen

It would be so ironic if Musk dies in a private jet mid air collision because he defunded the FAA.

most cooked bluesky feed february 2025🏆

i dont know who you are but i will find you and i will kin you

you know its bad when i start waxing poetic,,,

lay my soul bare let it bloom from under my skin let none of my love be wasted i want a life full of regrets that i would repeat a million times let my actions mean something and please don’t let me slip off of my path whatever may lay in store for me i want to consume me

fuck purity i want to live messily in my heart we can make it and in my heart we commit no sins

why does anything exist? just to blorbo and rot and suffer?

strangling God and watching my place on the Dumbest Girl Alive scoreboard go from #2 to #1

Looney Tunes ass vices: -Gambling -Cigars -Awoogaing at women Real Vices: -Zyns -Murder -Maple syrup addiction

when i have twenty dollars i spend like i own dubai, when i have normal amount, i remind myself that you never truly know the value in a moment until it becomes a memory

im gonna shoot straight with you kitten, mommy is one bad slots spin away from chewing glass ampoules of fentanyl like Hi-Chews

gf: they call it the land down undah, also known as “Australia” me, foolish, thinking i can get a joke past her: Australia? isn’t that where they filmed “The Thing” my gf, a genius and a goddess in mortal form: No no no, I can see where you’re getting confused. Thats New Zealand

Unlockable mini boss arena called “The Hospital” where you eat a bunch of expired pills and teleport there to fight “Medical Debt”

with God as my witness and Gaia as my accomplice, i will drop 1ft diameter by 20ft length tungsten rods from orbit onto the houses of my enemies.

i need to bounce on it so hard she gets mortified

i need a graph that correlates the amount of shitposting i do with how bad my mental state is

Anyone in the Chattanooga area wanna meet up for a friendly CTE sesh? 🔨

In this week's addition of @privateeyenews.bsky.social 'you can't just call everyone you disagree with a facist'