I was going to say 'My spoon is too big.', but I just found out I attended high school at the same time as the founder of Palantir.

Every time someone posts a live music recording, like KEXP or whatever, I'm briefly open to that becoming my new personality.

Just registered for a marathon, eek.

I'm glad somebody out there is having fun.

You can sour anything with a flour.

Despite years of cooking, sauteing peppers and onions only ever smells like combo pizza.

lunchtime

Maybe pushing the weight limit a little. #carryshitolympics

I want to write a review of Ad Astra (I enjoyed it), but maybe I need to deal with my own trauma of a dad with anger issues who wasn't present as much as I'd like first.

My body is less a temple and more a Howl's Moving Castle.

Have a Kewpie.

I don't like netflix's film grain in Wake Up Dead Man.

Despite being around people playing Warhammer since very near its inception, this is my first time playing one.

Check out this suave dude.

The Chihuahua got skunked in the backyard. Happy Holidays!

A traditional thanksgiving spread should include sauerkraut. Imagine the leftover sandwiches.

I just completed "Secret Entrance" - Day 1 - Advent of Code 2025 #AdventOfCode adventofcode.com/2025/day/1

I'm completely past the age of day dreaming about 'what it all means' and now in the age of 'why did I eat those mozzarella sticks'.

IT'S '6-7', COOPER. A GENERATION ALPHA TREND. WHAT THEY CALL A 'MAY-MAY'. IT'S AN ORPHANED SIGNIFIER, NO SIGNS ATTACHED. ONE COULD CALL IT DADAIST, BUT SOMME SAY IT'S TOO STUPID TO BE DADA. IT'S ANTI-MEANING, ANTI-HUMOUR, BUT DAMN IF THOSE KIDS DON'T FIND IT A CRACK-UP.

Sneeze the rent!

The Trapper Keeper Binder, Shapes will fix me.

[studio exec who just watched weapons]: What if Alex grows up to change his name to Rust Cohle?

I don't want to hear another piece of wisdom that's fundamentally true, I want to go through it myself and then gush about it to someone else who doesn't want to hear it.

What's for dinner? Why not try, Too Much Salt!

Second rainy day drop off for me and I tracked dog poo through the entire house.

I have no plan for what to do with a bale of hay, but I have one now. #carryshitolympics

You're trying to tell me that a lifetime of shutting down my emotions has not prepared me for this moment?

I ate too much tofurkey, my cilia!

It was the first raining school drop off of the season, and I got completely decked out. Just way over compensated for what turned into light drizzle at 66F

Waking up from a nap to see that the sky is dark and declaring it's Fall. I'm available to be a sleepy town's mascot.

Big year for parasitic creatures in my family. One of the dogs got ticks on a hike, the 5 year old got a leech in a lake, and now the bunk bed we got on Facebook Marketplace spawned bed bugs.

Took a mental health day which was working on my garden. One of our planter boxes does not get enough sun, so I started breaking it down to make smaller ones elsewhere.

Of all the things I've said with poor judgement that my kids have globbed onto, the current one is pretty good. After a rambling explanation of a game that they were making up where we copy each other's drawings of monsters and also guess what they're called, "that's the whole point."

Every software developer has that one decision that has been haunting them for 4 years. I'm tired all the time because of an emoji.

Installing linux as a hangover cure

One thing that has worked surprisingly well with our kids is setting timers. Can we go down the toy aisle? Yea, I'm setting a 5 minute timer. I don't want to take a shower. Ok, set a timer for up to an hour. Incredible

I have a friend who was saying this a few years ago. I didn't really understand it then, but i definitely agree now.

The prompt is: add an 's' to make something completely wrong.

I touched too much grass and got a migraine.

Every time I have one of the basic food dishes after a long hiatus, it's like rediscovering a whole culinary tradition. Like have you tried beans **with** rice?!

At the Legoland castle hotel: the dragon light stays on.

Lounging on a couch while the 6 year old passes me a head of lettuce to munch on, and making sure to give the Chihuahua a bite. Not sure what this is, but it's something.

Trying to find out the name of the band for a song on the radio. It took a friend and I three weeks till we caught the dj saying, 'And that was Female of the Species by Space.' We'd show up to class everyday relaying our listening times and strategies.

Ballistic nylon snuggy, for when you want to nap, but a Chihuahua wants to play.

When did pet dna companies become social media companies?

When you steal 3 pieces of bacon and can't move anymore.

If you need a reason to have kids, or a reason not to, just imagine a five year old sassily singing from the bathroom, "I'm ready to be wiped now!"

The problem with No Kings is that it really limits your Balatro score.