Can the food videos from Japan please find another song? You've been using that same one on every video for approximately 100 years now.

Only halfway through November and I'm already tired of the Waitrose romcom Christmas ad.

My dream body tbh

I saw the new GDT Frankenstein movie, and it was quite something if you're the kind of person who grew up acutely aware that you were not the child your parent wanted.

Got half of a new tattoo. I will get the rest in December and will post a picture then. It is Tom Servo.

The UK government makes you prove that you are friends with people from an approved list of upper class professions before they'll even let you get a passport and no one even gives a shit how fucking classist that is.

If the UK government wanted to save money, they could just stop asking me for information that I've already given them. Why do I have to submit a reference for my passport application after I've already given them 2 for my citizenship application?

I have the start of a cold because even after a global pandemic, some people haven't learned to cover their fucking mouths when they cough and some of those people live in my damned house. Might as well just spit directly in my mouth.

I've worn a bra two days in a row now and that's definitely my limit. My ribcage hurts.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but the "meteor men" in All Star is very clearly referring to meteorologists, and also you're kind of bad at inferring meaning from context if you didn't get that.

If I click on your YouTube video to watch some normal and wholesome cave diving or bigfoot hunting content, and I see AI slop in your images, I will immediately go back to the browse page and click the "don't recommend this channel to me" button.

I'm 48, so every time I feel warm it's a game of Climate Change, Fever or Menopause?

There was a Doctor Who episode from 2010 on tv. It was kind of jarring seeing something from way back when we thought humanity had a future.

If I'm a disabled immigrant, do I need to "get back to work" even though that would mean I'm "stealing your job?" Joking. I know that as a disabled immigrant, you think I should either fuck off back where I came from or die and decrease the surplus population.

Question for the Americans: Why does your constitution have a 25th amendmend if no one will ever use the damned thing?

"They go low, we go high!" And just like Mount Everest, that high road is quickly becoming clogged with trash and corpses.

I've only got about 2 hours left to complain about how bad British apple pie is before I become British. Bramley apples taste like corroded batteries. It's like you're all afraid of cinnamon. Why are there sometimes raisins?

As President Trump prepares to travel to the UK, I hope that his lackeys remind him that compression stockings are woke and he should sit in one position as much as possible during his flight.

He confessed because it was absolutely killing him that liberals and etsy witches were getting credit for his work.

When I applied for UK citizenship, I put down my tattoo artist as a reference because if I were planning to do crimes, I would not be making myself this easily identifiable on purpose.

Whoever can figure out how to hide the obnoxious giant "community posts" on YouTube can have my firstborn child and a cookie.

Had a bath. Now hot and moist.

I managed to buy a bedding set that is the exact same shade of beige as a manky old pillow that a greasy single guy has refused to wash or replace for 10 years. I do a double take whenever I first see my pillows. Might be why that color was half price.

My dream life is one where I never have to see another goddam ad for Temu.

RFK Jr. moves like this guy. He might be an alien sack of bugs.

My hot take: Trump was advised by Putin to start spreading health rumors. Putin has been "secretly dying of cancer" for like a decade. If you are dying any minute now, would-be assassins won't bother.

I need something to wear to my citizenship ceremony, and it might just be me, but all the sort of halfway professional office kind of clothes right now are hideous. Weird peplums and puffy bits and ruffles everywhere. I wear jeans and tshirts most of the time because women's clothes are so cringe.

Overseas US citizens still have to file their taxes with the IRS (only the US, UAE and North Korea require this). So if mail-in voting is eliminated that is taxation without representation.

Challenge for Christians: communicate your beliefs without using fear tactics or emotional manipulation. Yes, I'm talking about you, Aunt Ruth.

Had to quit spinning after only 2 episodes of Star Trek today because it's too hot for wearing an apron and playing with wool. (Also the current batch is a high percentage of acrylic and it's just awful to work with at the best of times.)

GOP now stands for Greedy Old Pedos

Does anyone know how long we have to keep doing all this?

I don't have kids, so I've forever avoided feeling old by having grandkids. However, now I have a niece who is pregnant. And it's not even a teen pregnancy. She's like 28. A totally normal age to be having a kid, so I can't even make excuses. I'm just old.

We haven't had this many celebrity deaths back to back since 2016. The year Trump was elected. I'm not saying his presence in the news cycle makes people lose the will to live, but...

If anyone knows iguanamouth, tell them that Tumblr misses them. (They illustrated a shit post of mine 9 years ago and I still see people commenting how much they miss iguanamouth in the tags to this day.)

I wasn't sure what I was going to order from my local takeaway until I scanned the menu and saw a new pizza simply called HOT MEAT in all caps. I have to taste the HOT MEAT.

If you walk up to someone and say, "Your baby is so cute! What's his name?" And the parent replies, "She's a girl. Her name is Emily." And then from then on, you use she and her when talking about the baby, you do absolutely understand the "pronoun thing."

“AI is inevitable, we’re just going to have to live with it” sounds a lot like “Covid is inevitable, we’re just going to have to live with it” We’re all being conditioned to accept mass atrocity as normal

The Labour MP for my area thinks it's okay to kill disabled people. And hopefully next time she's up for election, I'll have citizenship and be able to vote for literally anyone else.

the heresies coming out of contemporary, specifically American Christianity are really something

"There is no safe amount of processed meat consumption," okay but you say that like I want to spend more time suffering on this failed planet. The years this hotdog will remove from my life are just the shitty ones at the end with all the dementia. I don't need those years.

I genuinely hope Trump revokes my citizenship because that'll save me the $2000 or whatever it costs to renounce. But not until I get UK citizenship please.

I think one of the things that makes me want to give up is that if we resist fascism and push back and keep them from killing millions of people, we will be told it was never a problem and we were just overreacting the whole time because we didn't let it get bad.

Did the once a year online shop at Waitrose. Spent the whole time trying to figure out what kind of high-end garbage food they have. The answer is: not much. Not a single pack of beef jerky and only the same fancy tortilla chips that Sainsbury's has.

If any of my American family and friends want to see me, you're going to have to come to Scotland or meet me halfway in Canada or something. Especially after I renounce my US citizenship.

I've been recording my blood pressure to report to my doctor and I found out that I can drop my systolic reading by about 20 just by zoning out and staring blankly into the middle distance. A lobotomy might cure my high bp. Just stick an icepick up there and swoozle it around.

The worst thing about being a wool spinner is that the algorithms keep trying to feed me gross tradwife bullshit. I want to see your plying technique, not your Little House on the Prairie outfit with a baby strapped to your back. The second worst thing is moths.

People, seriously, will you PLEASE knock it off with the AI/LLM usage. You are causing actual droughts, and for what? Bullshit and slop. It’s embarrassing. You are embarrassing.