I just submitted a yarn support proposal for the actual, literal Cutest Pattern Ever so all you amigurumi and baby onesies can move over 'cause I've arrived 🌼

Pick a selfie from your gallery and turn it b&w!

I have discovered the joys of sealing wax: delivering a handwritten letter to my younger sibling with an affected, “Yourrrrr letter, my liege,” which, when painstakingly opened to save the seal, read only “youse a bitch”

Mike Richards: terrible producer, even worse Jeopardy host, even even worse human being. Thank goodness for @clairemcnear.bsky.social helping him to show his ass to the world, because can you imagine if we were stuck with him for longer than the .2 seconds he was around?

Going no contact with people is actually kinda fun, I should find more assholes to block and never talk to again

Yesterday while on a mental health walk, I met a man in a tree. Literally. He was fascinating. He graciously agreed to let me take his portrait while he was chilling in this tree, and told me all about how in 1985 he turned into this very tree. He is one of the best people I've ever met.

My chronic pain and subluxations have caused me to get Baby's First Walker, which means I am now officially An Old Lady. No spoons, just knives today.

I also soft launched my new venture, The Knitter's Apothecary, where I will make magical potions for fiber artists that will do things like weave your ends in for you (and you get a nice set of stitch markers along with it!) I am CRUSHING this productivity thing!

oh my goddddd my crotchety 18 year old cat is named Peanut Butter Jelly With a Baseball Bat because I am a product of my time

Every time someone notices the play on words in "I knit u knot" I get a pair of wings please stop noticing my 626 pairs of wings are so heavy on my back

I got my website back up and running! www.iknituknot.com if you wanna go look at my portfolio and buy some patterns!

It's because we assume you're stressed and busy recording all of... *gestures vaguely at everything*

I sent follow-up thank you emails the Monday after an event, in a timely fashion, to all the people I needed to. WHO'S GOT ADHD NOW-- shit my tea has been steeping for three hours hold on brb

If you're like me (a crafter riddled with ADHD disorganization) you'll appreciate the knitting and crochet printable planners I created for download! payhip.com/CorinPurifoy

deep dish pope is close enough to pizza pope

I'm leaving for Chicago in a little more than 24 hours for H+H Americas, and if I don't get some Portillo's this week I WILL scream and never stop screaming

I have approximately 24 hours to finish the shawl sample I'm designing if I want to bring it with me to H+H Americas next week, and about 20 rows left to knit, which is why I am currently doing literally everything else in the world

my neighbor: why is this girl taking close-up pictures of our plants from the sidewalk? me: WELL MAYBE YOUR PLANTS SHOULDN'T BE SO PRETTY, DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? my neighbor: Greg, call the police, she's getting belligerent

This morning, if you subscribe to Lion Brand Yarn's emails, you may have seen ME and my Oakland Avenue Shawl listed under "Discover a New Designer" which I'm pretty sure means I'm famous no paparazzi please

I missed #Jeopardy Masters tonight and hulu has the AUDACITY, the unmitigated GALL, to not put it up for streaming until 4AM so I don't know if my queen, THE Queen Victoria Groce is going to advance??? My life is so hard

Today is the fourth anniversary of the release of my crochet Skylines Shawl, and today it (and my Oakland Avenue Shawl) was approved to be added to the pattern marketplace on Lion Brand's website DO YOU BELIEVE IN SERENDIPITY BECAUSE I DO

On an evening such as this, the best thing to do is simply listen to Barenaked Ladies on repeat so you can hear them say "I just made you say underwear" and giggle but each time you giggle less and less until you're just staring into the middle distance and that, children, is what adulthood is like

Every time you giggle at "fingering weight yarn", a twelve-year-old angel gets its wings

Please help us correct misinformation! Our hotline is being incorrectly shared as "Canada's national suicide hotline open toll free for Americans". We are not a general crisis hotline, we exist exclusively to support the trans community. Find out more @ translifeline.org

I'm haunted by the ghosts of all the crochet patterns I downloaded with the intentions of making that I never, ever, ever will (the ones I paid for are poltergeists)

I took a nature walk today and saw a willow tree next to a river, so I'm proud to announce that my depression is now 100% cured and I will be stopping my medications and therapy expeditiously.

This is exactly what I told the producers to get on #Jeopardy what a coincidence

I put on a new charcoal face mask after my shower this morning and I looked like a republican at Halloween. My face is now much clearer than their conscience.

me, writing a semi-complicated pattern, sighing with relief: thank the gods I decided to put in this section of simple stockinette me, 12 rows into the stockinette section, eyes blank: how much more, Athena, goddess of handicrafts? how much more must I endure? #knitting #knittingproblems

I realized today that my #ChronicPain has been around for 17 years. 17 years, every day, with no breaks, I have been in horrible pain, extremely fatigued, struggling with brain fog, in addition to the sprains, strains and subluxations from childhood on. My fibromyalgia can almost vote. Wild.

I ask again, why have I not been born with pointy elf ears, golden eyes, shimmering skin and the ethereal beauty to render anyone of any sexuality speechless? I think this was a mistake, and I would like to bring it up with the gods.

An older picture, taken after Riley overdosed on catnip and recursed into herself into the Eternal Infinicat. She saw everything, and I don't think she liked what she saw.

The last four albums you've listened to! #last4albums

Definitely not me burning sage in my craft office and specifically on the shawl I'm designing because I'm having so much trouble with it that it HAS to be bad energy that's found its way into the yarn. Never me. Anyway, my office smells really good now.

haha anyway hashtag fob hashtag nostalgia amirite

Sometimes an album is good ‘cause it makes you feel like a cool teenager again and sometimes that album is From Under the Cork Tree and sometimes you don’t actually discover that album until your mid 20s and remember that you were too busy being horribly bullied in your teens to listen to cool music

and each and every one is a crochet pattern, and I have made three of them.

when I'm writing a knitting pattern, my brain regresses to a two-month-old's understanding of math, leading my soul to evacuate my body when I have to frog days of work because I can't count to three #knitting #knittingproblems

There is simply nothing better or more satisfying than inflicting intense physical pain on myself by eating spicy Thai green curry. These are happy tears.

My friends, I have returned from the mines with news from the moles: Maybe don't descend into fascism and just eat dirt instead. It's a good life, an honest life.

I did, however, finish a sweater like a week ago! And it only took me a few days! Yay ADHD hyperfocus!

There are multiple different garments and accessories I want to knit and crochet, have plans and patterns and the yarn for, and that of course means I'm sitting on my butt browsing Ravelry for more

Can I crochet a sweater in three days? Probably not, but that's not stopping the Possibly Unhealthy Goals part of my brain from trying

Who knew that having pneumonia would affect the "witty bluesky update" area of my brain so badly? There's nothing to say, mainly because I don't have the air to say it

It’s really unfair that I have to work so hard at being at best 35% cute while my cat just lays around and gets a 72% cuteness boost from her ears alone

I just listened to Janelle Monae's Make Me Feel and Janet Jackson's If back to back and now I'm not asexual anymore

The world is ending but on the plus side I just had the best fries available in a hospital cafeteria so like. Bring it.

It’s #wipwednesday and I’ve been making steady progress on the Calamity Shawl. Hoping to finish this weekend so I can wrap up in it. #knitting Pattern by @iknituknot.bsky.social

Breaking news: New Song Makes Autism Brain Go Brrrr, Is Placed On Repeat For Foreseeable Future, More* at 8 *(more plays of the song, I mean)

Lovely crochet pattern you've got there. Would be a shame if it started out "chain 374"