Football's bumming home

From instagram, a classic Second Mention @secondmentions.com

Worn, brittle, and antiquarian, Ann Widdecombe joined Reform in recent years...

I look forward to the Only Connect question about how Count Binface is named in other languages

Wobbly Cobolli #Wimbledon #TheTennis

Jesus Wept - Farage, Fox and Binface...

He's going to challenge Gianni Infantino to be the next FIFA President. Gianni's not corrupt enough.

Incredible moment in tennis commentary where Andrew Cotter was talking to Tim Henman about the hill and renovations they're making. Cotter finished that bit with "but they'll never change its name...Aorangi Terrace." I could feel the side eye from my sofa. #BBCTennis #Wimbledon

Ronaldo is an anagram of Orlando...is that anything?

I'm sorry, Fifa has a Code of Ethics? Fuck off.

👑🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

Featuring Hardy Kane, Rude Bellingham and Jordan Prickford

Won't somebody think of the children? What if they want to be up at 3am, disappointed by England's performance in a penalty shoot out?

Not sure if Shearer is talking about England, Keir Starmer, or your mum #TheFootball

Fun fact - they're all played by Bob Holness

"We'll charge the children instead!" shrieked Michael O'Leary, rubbing his hands with glee

If Liz Murdoch is spunking money up the wall, can I have £20k to install some aircon? Better than $27m for just hot air.

We're going to be so disappointed with the new HLG aren't we?

Of course, the big winner last night was Paddy Young for SNL UK Season 2

Makerfield was 29th on Reform's target list. To do that badly in a by-election against an unpopular government is an absolutely dreadful result for Reform.

Can we make sure the pervert glasses absolutely make the user look like a pervert? Oh that's perfect thank you

Not sure this is news any more

Some people have all the luck #sausagerolls #whitewine

Schumacher, Nadal or Fraser-Pryce (in this en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Athleti... which was stacked with talent but got no attention given what else happened that night)

Hang on...Jane married both Rod and Freddy?!?

"Gatorade water $8.75" Jesus wept

I'm in a pub in Westminster where there is a photo of Lindsay Hoyle, two men in fedoras and far too many people wearing beige linen. We won't be staying

If you have a cucumber up your alley, I'd get that seen to pronto

@trientertainment.bsky.social Richard wouldn't put up with this. Starting at 1, not even naming 3 and 4. Proper rogue behaviour here...

OMG is Gail the name of the mummified corpse they've used as a sourdough starter?

Can someone do a Guardian Blind Dates column with King Kong as a participant please?

Reskeet with four random facts about you: 🟪 The first time I entered the Wimbledon ballot, I got tickets to the Men's final 🔶️ Ruby Wax once offered to make me a cup of tea 🔺️My go-to at karaoke is Let It Go from Frozen 🔵 Your father would love to receive my quiz book as a Father's Day present

This is very good on the logical preposterousness of the trans bathroom ban. It simply cannot have been the intention of the Equality Act or the governments which administered it. www.liberalcurrents.com/the-end-of-t...

As someone who wasted 3 years having to learn Irish at school, this opinion can fuck the fuck right off

A bit of a Baader Meinhoff for me - only learned the other week that oeufs mimosa is what the French call devilled eggs

I'd be up for a Jam Roly Polycule

I need to see Paddington as Malcolm Tucker getting angry about poor quality marmalade sandwiches

I put on a pair of shorts and this is the reaction...honestly...

Imagine a whole head of teeth

Why does Mary Berry get a name check in the Alt text, but Floella Benjamin is just "guest"?

"If you build it, they will not even pretend to cum"

One day you are PM of the UK. The next, you're selling gyoza on the streets of Bordeaux for €7.50

This is why Cher could never write lyrics for an opera

Can’t believe no one has uploaded this to BlueSky (that I could find, anyway), but thanks to Popbitch for the heads-up. If you ever wondered what ex-Children’s BBC presenter Simon Parkin is up to these days … (sound on, swearing, etc):

Why did he wait until after the polling that shows he's definitely not going to win it?

Are you running a pub in Bordeaux @quizzydan.bsky.social?

Nothing quite says "Prime Minister material" quite like "I didn't read the rules". That said, I'll bet that 2 of the last 4 PMs didn't read the rules of the leadership elections they stood in