Russia wants us to believe that the "criminal regime" of a "fake country" slipped through the entire Russian security apparatus and managed to drop a bomb on the Head of State's residence. In any other country, somebody would get fired for that. Putin should thank god he's still alive! /s

Putin and Zelensky on their way to assassinate another Russian general.

If you want to know how to make Elon Musk respect you, the European Commission fining him a pittance makes him call for the EU's abolition, while Russia banning/restricting X makes him shill for Russian politicians and protect them from fact-checking. He will always show his belly at a real threat.

Yes, Mr President.

Mamdani, meeting with Spanberger: "What's the matter? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?"

Republicans are more mad at the people who don't care Charlie Kirk is dead than they are at the guy who killed him.

The government responding to Charlie Kirks' death by persecuting leftists and minorities is telling the far right that if they want to efficiently inflict violence on minorities and leftists, all they need to do is keep assassinating mainstream right-wingers. The state will do the violence for them.

You know, if half of the people that went on to do school shootings instead assassinated Internet pundits and political influencers, would the world really be made worse?

Paramount cancelled Colbert to appease Trump, then just strolled into paying $1.5 billion to say he is exactly like Saddam Hussein.

#Superman was a very, very silly movie in the best way possible. Will definitely be watching it again in cinemas at least two more times.

Demolition Man is a kaiju movie. "Mothra/Wesley Snipes is attacking our city and we are powerless to stop them, they are too powerful/problematic for our conventional methods. We must awaken Godzilla/Sylvester Stallone to do battle with them."

Locals wouldn't dream of doing anything in the day. Why, when nights on Europa last 44 hours? If you deployed nearside you at least had Jovelight to help pick out the fissures and craters, but farside all you had above you was infinite stars, and they gave you nothing. #icewar #warforever

So I read this, and as someone who's spent their entire career in the trenches of "how do we keep the tension between Good Guys and Bad Guys interesting," I have Some Thoughts www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/v...

The Absolute Trinity and what they're currently reading. #absolutesuperman #absolutewonderwoman #absolutebatman

"Kleya" as a name for newborns/trans women is about to skyrocket. #Andor #StarWars

Wrestling is incredible. It has these characters called "heels" that say and do bad things, but the audience knows it's part of the show so they still like it. I wish we had heels in other forms of media.

#ghostfiles #watcherentertainment

The facts are that the Pope was an 88 year old man who'd just had an operation. But we're in an age of alternative facts, and the alternative fact is that J.D. Vance can literally kill people with how unpleasant he is to talk to.

Young men in America need to Switch 2 the Democratic Party.

It's not fair. Why do these people get to be so old, so rich, and so often go to such elite schools, and have staffs of people to tell them what's going on in the world, and yet understand so little about anything?

Currently the American warboss, the largest ork, is trying to keep the Waaaagh going by telling all the other orks that there's enough krumpin' to go around. #nasdaq #warhammer

"AI creators" need to be oppressed more. If you think AI art is legit you honest to god need to be locked in a room with a pencil and sketchpad and only let out when you've passably drawn your own hand.

Apparently, saying you'd like to piss on JD Vance's shoes is a "credible threat of violence" on Reddit and gets you a permaban.

I've started running, to help get my body in shape. What I've learned from my first run is that I hate running. However, I hate JD Vance more, so when the pain gets too much I will be sure to think of him.

I offer Canadians a #polandball rendition of the Shawinigan Handshake #tariffs #tradewar

That is not how you draw a T, Marco Rubio.

If we somehow are able to help #Ukraine and #Europe forge an acceptable peace, we will treat some of the heroes of Ukraine with trips to Savile Row. Maybe they'll be well-dressed enough for the Americans then?

Tariff-ic! #polandball

Europeans must provide a service to America: We let their politicians sit an internship at our legislative chambers, so they can see democracy in action.

A Peek Under the Iron Curtain (with thanks to Leslie Illingworth) #polandball

Now I know what it's like to be Taylor Swift - a lot of rightwingers in America being weird and wanting our eggs.

If there’s one thing associated with powerlessness, it’s banks. It is a good thing for US power if we are no longer the bank of the world. I had my banker clean my apartment and wash my car today because he’s a little bitch.

On the topic of annexations, I submit a counter-proposal.

I guess it's useful our thing is a bloody massive clock. Theming.

Most important cultural shift of the last 50 years is people going from assuming 'pipe-weed' in Lord of the Rings is nicotine to assuming it's cannabis.

I know I'm human. And if you were all these things, then you'd just attack me right now, so some of you are still human. This thing doesn't want to show itself, it wants to hide inside an imitation. It'll fight if it has to, but it's vulnerable out in the open. If it takes us over, then it has won.

No matter what comes next for Syrians, they're going to be celebrating the fall of Saidnaya Prison a hundred years from now.

"Thank God you're here, Superman, you can find and catch this killer!" "Uhh, sorry, didn't see it happen, I was busy...pushing an asteroid away from Earth. Yes. I was doing that."

Me, Andrew Witty, explaining to my customers that health insurance is there to guard against unnecessary care

Deny. Defend. Depose.

I’ll leave this here…

Jingle Jam 2024 has reached 1 million, thank you @sonic.bsky.social for subbing in when @korsty.bsky.social couldn't make it #JingleJam #JingleJam2024

How did aliens travel the stars and come to earth just to build a pyramid wrong?

#whowouldwin in a fight between a Shoggoth and the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard? #callofcthulhu #dadsarmy

I'm from the future, Elon Musk's version of D&D is called X edition, the d20 has been ditched in favour of percentile dice, and instead of the best result being a 'Natural 20' you have to call it a 'Scrimbly!' #d&d

Please, Elon, go ahead and spend a lot of money trying to make D&D 'anti-woke'. I'm sure the vast majority of TTRPG players would love to spend money for an edition that, IDFK, brought back 'comeliness' as a stat or some shite, and was filled with AI slop rather than art by human beings.

Best thing about Andor being in Star Wars rather than its own thing is that it gets the merch like everything else. "Look, Mommy, I'm doing enhanced interrogation!" #starwars #andor

It's so funny that George Lucas had to argue with Alec Guinness about why he should die in the Star War, and at the same time patently refuse to let Harrison Ford die no matter how much he begged him.