I’m so sorry but this is what i think of every time i see people with labubus and shit hanging from their bags

wedding officiant: y’all ready to kiss

in my day, there was a whole genre of blog post that was just variations on homemade, misspelled yard signs. i would give anything to see a yard sard

no i do not want 15% off no i do not want your newsletter no i will not accept your cookies no you can’t have my location no no No i won’t enable popups NO i won’t go off private browsing NO i will not stop RUNNING and you will NEVER CATCH ME

explaining to your kids that acab includes dogman

Gotta say, congratulations to the developers of Watch Duty, whose service has been rock solid despite twenty million Californians hitting “refresh” every thirty seconds

that fire’s not the only thing that’s wet 🫦 BA DUM TSSS

just flew home behind a man who listened to music while holding his phone up and staring at it the entire flight. no video, no animation - just static album art, brightness higher than god. for five fucking hours.

hey, public water bottle filling stations? please don’t blink your red filter light at me. i don’t want to know. let me live in ignorance about this one thing, please

I'm still trying to understand how so many people could have such reckless, virulent hatred. How they could look at all the hate, all the crimes, all the promised hatred, and sit this out, or even vote for it. I just don't know. But Sir Terry Pratchett knew things. And this seems right for today.

I’m so bad at promoting things i do!!! i hate it so much!! anyway i was on my friend’s pod and i think i was mildly entertaining if you’re interested in that podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s... but probably you aren’t don’t even worry about it actually forget i said anything really

I’m so bad at promoting things i do!!! i hate it so much!! anyway i was on my friend’s pod and i think i was mildly entertaining if you’re interested in that podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s... but probably you aren’t don’t even worry about it actually forget i said anything really

there is only one way to survive the existential angst and the many horrors of living. and that is A Little Treat

on my way to Mexico City last year, every screen around us at the airport was looping ads that said “travel to New Mexico” and i said “New Mexico?? I’m trying to go to Old Mexico!” i thought it was hilarious and i still do. thanks

does anyone know why all of los angeles has smelled like burnt rubber and diesel for the last day and a half?? I can’t find anything on local news

instagram has us so fucked up. literally Helen of Troy could post a selfie and some man would be in her comments like “mid”

visiting family with basic cable, so clearly there is only one thing to watch (Friends reruns) and tonight, I saw it turn over from finale to restarting with the pilot, and it does kinda feel like finally seeing the dvd logo hit the corner

those fitness ropes but instead it’s me shaking out my duvet

good point! printing should also be free

those fitness ropes but instead it’s me shaking out my duvet

What's happening in Gaza is one the most odious, broad-daylight campaigns of terror against a civilian population in our lifetimes. The most important thing is drawing attention to that fact and working to stop it. Call it whatever the fuck you want.

idk how these kids play football so well when just cheering for them produces enough adrenaline in me to kill a horse

thank you to the michigan marching band for playing Rocky and Bullwinkle 🥲 me and one other dude got real hype with our pom poms

hey, public water bottle filling stations? please don’t blink your red filter light at me. i don’t want to know. let me live in ignorance about this one thing, please

I’m just here to be supportive

we arbitrarily decided on a set of times that Work needs to be done based on absolutely nothing and if you can't easily and happily do that five days a week that's a mental illness

not sure studios considered how much annoying theater kid energy we are prepared to bring to this karaoke-themed picket #SAGonStrike

it’s that time of year again when i try in vain to pull up the sheet and end up accidentally punching myself in the face