the caustic post gig "they" from the person evaluating you on your technical skill first and your musicality second

materialism?!?!? online?!?

im addicted to lucy bedroque music rn, my friends are annoyed that it's all i talk about.

wow for the first time since 2022, i have writer's block. last time i fixed it by writing ensemble music again (this is what become the orchiddBB record btw). i used to think if you did it every day, this would never happen. that's not true at all: i do write every day and hate what i produce rn.

if yall ever throw my name on an ai gig poster, im dropping off the show and i'll tell everyone you smell like shit

i mean the joke is actually on me for thinking the band that hasn't put out anything i even kind of like in nearly 2 decades would somehow turn it around (this is "just orchid things" territory)

Americans’ wages are no longer outpacing inflation. Prices are now rising at an annual rate of 3.8%, the highest rate since May 2023. That means inflation is now outpacing wage increases.

how long till someone does a live vibe coding electronic set? (if it hasn't already happened)

I began to be sensible of strange feelings. I felt a melting in me.

the concept of a national or international "underground" is paradoxical (i am not denying its existence though; is the internet a place? maybe a question better suited to optimistic internet-focused art exhibits of the previous decade than the cbd cigs of social media that is this site)

working ornament 2 of 2 at loove annex on wednesday 5/13. hans band with vivek and gían (if you don't know who these people are , scroll back a bit cause i talk about them all the time on here). the plan is "i kill all the beats im wanted for murder, i kill all the speakers bitch they never learnin"

eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

wow. gimme #C.

the self aggrandizing bs (ppl close to me included) rly needs to stop. you arent that special. no one is.

we undressed and went to bed, at peace with our own consciences and all the world

so glad i deleted reddit right before the jane remover/dabo beef, i would have got so sucked into that

that's so nice of y'all, but likes and telling me i'm hot doesn't pay my bills

how to pretend is like top 5 songs ever made (hyperbole posting like they did in 2014 where i got bullied out of my college's music discussion facebook group for not understanding another user was being sarcastic about calling a song the best instrumental music of all time [they copy pasta'd me])

it's in the worst moments of your life where you'll find out exactly who you are!

should i pay for a percatric feature on orchiddBB2?

i showed my partner lucy bedroque and they immediately informed me that "knot me" is an omegaverse thing

once again, "show yourself as a kid" is a psyop (a real one, not a band trying to blow up). surveilance facial training data, obvious transphobia, building an archive of every person's life. ....wait hold on thats just m*ta's strategy broadly....

i need to book shows outside for the summer. urgent. imperitive.

wow im going to see bleood. thats unbelievable.

rich kids this, rich kids that, im with you, but how about the guys with money that throw it around and pit artists against each other?

i need musicians to put the energy into the crowd. yes even us fucks who scrape broken motors over broken piles of shit with a mic attached. asking the audience to lean in to "get" me feels rly condescending and gross.

improvisation in nyc is less avant garde than anything on a turbo online 18-20 year olds computer

someone needs to do a thinkpiece on fake performative diy moves from marketing companies (do not steal our swag, im a vengeful person). oh wait they already did that with turnstile.

hans young-binter's working ornament (with gían pérez, vivek menon, and me) plays our first of two nights (second one is next week 5/13) at loove annex tonight (5/6). we record on 5/15. this band is rly special.

even the new school kids were shocked to learn i did not go to the new school last night. maybe i should pretend i did and see how far i can take the bit. clearly further than i am.

deleting reddit was the best decision of the year for me so far. i can enjoy saros without some asshole flipping out that the bosses are a little too easy, i don't see the trans hate bots, i no longer think i secretely might be a horrible person, im actually kinda alright.

i've been getting more folks telling me about this and it's not anything i agreed to. it's been stolen like AI steals. please vandalize it if and when you see it.

next SKINNY APARTMENT show may 23 ecstasy police (my 28th birthday) i-D SUS (insane album out rn id-sus.bandcamp.com/album/gri-gri) @orchiddbb.bsky.social (laundromat legend) dj funny pat (rockin the house) JEFF COYNE (masterful songwriting from western mass!!!!)

futile and cyclical conversations about "who makes better music"

wow i still have my keys i am the goat

an old one, out for the day i get the full $2 if you buy it rather than like $1.63 or something like that.

i love putting on my thickest, most repressed boston accent and saying shit like "i am a verwy strong supportah of the queeyah communitee"

only playing laundromat 1x a month max from now on. you can still ask me to play to fill your bills, but ill likely say no. i cant tell if you're doing it out of appreciation or convenience, if its the former, i love you, if it's the latter, you should care more about your art than that.

its a problem that i think 6 gigs a month is "slowing down to focus on my mental health"

i once aspired to make math major music, so now i have a bloodhound nose for "overcompensating for insecurity" (i like a lot of this stuff, tbc, you should be able to criticize the things you like without people calling it an attack; this is, admittedly, a bit of an attack though)

we are rapidly moving away from a culture of care, whether we notice it or not (yes, queer diy artist people too). i smell a newfound callousness and competitiveness, already giving way to bitterness and scorn. maybe im just getting older, but i refuse to accept this on its face.

over the years, several people have told me that they perceive me as very serious, cold, or borderline unapproachable. i thought this was funny for years (and i def leaned into it when i was dude cosplaying), but now it kinda makes me sad.

i dont think ive ever owed more people more money in one day than i do today

nah dude im not walking around listening to "improvised music," i have an actual lust for life (occassionally?)

reddit relationship post replies like "YOUR PARTNER IS SATAN SPAWN, YOU MUST DOUSE THEIR BELONGINGS IN HOLY WATER, AND NEVER SPEAK TO THEM AGAIN"

what do you mean this is the same band you worked with "in school." im getting old (also a late bloomer in every way possible, but i never wanted to admit that pre-bloom).

the friday is coming up. getting sick of ts ngl. just buy a cd at a show ffs.

i stopped smoking weed at the gigs and now i like the gigs more.

Is the New York Times more biased than other major US news organizations that cover the trans community? Early data from our 2026 news tracker suggests they are. Of the 10 outlets we've been tracking, NYT had the fewest stories that quoted a trans person of them all. More here:

every show should be b2b, fuck your cigarette break