This just gave me the hilarious idea that @theonion.com should steal TPUSAs idea and host an alternative state of the union like they did for the SB, have someone ridiculous speak. I’d settle for @cnn.com having Barack Obama

"Quiet, piggy." would also be acceptable.

If you don't think Trump has his sights set on Mount Rushmore you haven't been paying attention.

We know, dipshit.

Melania can get fucked, I don't like her at all. That being said, she absolutely has to hate her husband. She has to call him after these televised conferences being like, "DONALD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?"

This is why I'm seeing more of them on the road.

Well the stock market loves the Tariff news... which is not good for us normal folk.

The notoriously unsafe and gang-ridden Culver City?!?!?!?

Pathetic, weak, little man.

Is 'crying' a popular kids name these days?

Montage of Howard Lutnick over the past 9 months constantly moving the goalposts on when the economy is going to be booming - 4Q! 1Q! 2Q! 1 year! He was asked in March when it wasn’t going to be Biden’s fault anymore: “We own the economy in the 4th quarter!”

You can't lose an ability you never had.

I am so sick of the fucking heart hand gesture everyone is making. It's so fucking stupid and so fucking cringe. If anyone ever makes a heart with their hands in my presence I'll be going to prison.

TRUMP HAS BANKRUPTED THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND THE HATERS SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE!!!

Hahahaha there are people who still think Trump will be held accountable for something. IMAGINE!!!

W...wer..... were they...........ea.........were they eating people?

This is why he will bomb Iran. He doesn't give a shit about the files.....

Because I've been married for 15 years.

We need to protect this lady.

The county I live in making national news.... again.... for the wrong reasons............again.

Sir, the question was, "Do you think Russia should exit Ukraine immediately?"

He's not sad that children were being abused. He's sad that his partner has to face consequences for abusing children.

Joe Rogan is 5 ft 3, made his name telling jokes and laughing at people as they ate insects..... he is certainly not the spokesperson for masculinity that he thinks his workouts have made him.

Iran is going to agree to do the same exact things they've been doing for years and Trump will call it a huge success, bring all the Armadas home and this will all have cost us only 76 trillion dollars.

If I was insanely wealthy I would simply not give a fuck who people love, who is using which restroom, what color peoples skin might be, which god they worship, etc.. I'm broke-ish and I still don't give a fudge....

Welp, we've reached the point in the new year where I am looking forward to coaching my sons soccer team because my stupid little bitch ass brain has forgotten how much I actually hate it.

This top European prosecutor is correct.

The differences between the United States and North Korea are getting fewer and fewer.

BAWITMAHA

I shouldered ZERO responsibility and deflected, asking (redacted) why they aren't doing anything.

My very chill, not outspoken, _______ (redacted to protect the innocent) is wondering why we aren't currently rioting in the streets until everything this disgusting network of pedos are involved in has died. Lifetouch, Disney, VS Brands, The US Government... all gotta go.... in their opinion.

Is your plumbing fucked? Call a businessman. Cheating wife and need a divorce? Call a businessman. A surgeon isn't going to repair the cartilage in your knee. You know who will? A BUSINESSMAN!

Businessmen know more than anybody about anything. Scientists don't know shit about climate change, businessmen do. Microbiologists/Virologists didn't know shit about pandemic response, businessmen did. Colleges don't know how to educate Americas youth, businessmen do.

"Race is a social construct AND the white one is the best one because of Ireland or something idk tbh.." -Elon Musk

In about 10 years pro sports will just be rosters full of kids who's parents could afford travel ball starting at age 7. It might already be there now. I think it'll be the death of pro sports Everything will be the Savanah Bananas because no one cares.

Biden couldn't eat ice cream without getting lit up. This dude does this every day and he's just fine...

The next president HAS TO BE PETTY ENOUGH to use this image as Trumps presidential photo in the WH.

Ok I solved it. The Cleveland Bullies. An ode to bulldogs, and the dog theme can stay. Colors need to change.

The Cleveland Browns need an entire rebrand. Change the name, change the colors, stadium is coming. The Cleveland Browns is a failed franchise, it's over. Who in the NFL is picking up a phone call from the Cleveland Browns without their first thought being HAHAHAHAHA. @spencito.bsky.social

Every time he speaks he embarrasses himself and us. No one cares.

Not only has Trump faced ZERO consequences for decades of abusing children he's out here fucking more people without their consent.... every single day. He hasn't been arrested for pedophilia so right now ICE is killing people and were about to invade Iran.

Tired- Ass or titties? Wired- Skeleton or Luge?

England taking action, but not the U.S., really makes me wonder just how engrained into the fabric of our nations founding and prosperity are pedophiles?

He didn't see this coming because he didn't listen to the black woman who was telling us this would happen as she toured the country campaigning against him.

I've thought this as well but I don't think it's a good reason for Trump to escape consequences for everything... again.

"Arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office." Could you fucking imagine if we arrested ours for something like this?

What if Pam Bondi has seen the videos of Trump raping children and is still defending him with her entire being? Could you imagine what kinda person you’d have to be. IMAGINE!

I'd bet every dollar I have that Trump can't spell spreadsheets.