So like I know #perimenopause is a hot topic and lots of women are opening up but I’d like to add my two cents bc this shit is honestly WILD. I turned 42 on Dec. 11. I was due to get my period the week before, but celebrated my bday by being a week late. I PANICKED.

Maybe we workshop our cute lil vanity plate idea with some friends before we make it a reality

This man used two different colors for his face and hand and neither are the correct color

So am I supposed to have babies or not? Ohhh wait I know. You only want wealthy white women to have babies.

“Chicks running around with blue hair are so DUMB,” says the 54 year old man with teeny tiny braided pigtails trailing out of his cowboy hat.

I honestly don’t know where anyone else stands on this, but I’m not listening to your fucking voice memo. I’m just gonna parse out what Apple translates and hope for the best.

Wait, so these chodes don’t even see me when I’m flicking them off bc they’re playing video games?? Dammit.

My husband listened well when he heard me talking about @sgj.bsky.social being one of my favorite authors, so for Mother’s Day he walked into the bookstore, was met with odd looks when he sought help in the horror section and walked out with books 1 and 3 of the Indian Lake Trilogy. Bless him 😂

The Trump Administration is looking to appoint Typhoid Mary as the head of the FDA. Her position will be that hand washing is woke.

If I lose my shit in public it’s because I’m in a waiting room playing country music while other fully grown adults watch videos on their phones at full volume.

I’ve been deriving so much joy from that. So. Much. Joy.

Look, I don’t understand why anyone even has their phone ringers turned on seeing as we all have our phones in our faces 24/7 so it’s not we’ll miss a call we still won’t answer, but there is something especially egregious about people who still have their favorite shitty song as their ringer.

My grandfather was a rich racist asshole that would yell confidently at me about things he was always super wrong about. Motherfucker also took FOREVER to die. Anyway good luck America, racist grandpas ruin everything.

It is perfectly legal to know your rights and to educate others about them, too. EVERYONE in the United States, citizen or not, has rights. I will not allow this administration to intimidate us from helping you know about them. Here’s our shareable guide ⬇️: (pt. 1/2)

I hope Nancy Mace suffers from chronic UTIs for the rest of her miserable life.

Rep. Ayanna Pressley: Hands off our bodies. Hands off our data. Hands off our tax refunds. Hands off our Social Security checks. Hands off our Constitution. Hands off our democracy.

If anyone ever finds me dead at the bottom of my stairs just know it was this guy. He tripped me.

These two are my light when everything else feels dark and ugly.

At Paris CDG airport. Just walked into the duty-free shop, shit my pants, and screamed “Not anymore it isn’t!”

Elder millenials who liked TikTok are just watching music videos on YouTube and pretending they’re in their childhood basements watching MTV now. We know how to cope.

After having seen that “portrait” of the “tough and strong” incoming president, I’ve decided I’m just tired. I know everyone wants me to be angry, but I’m just so tired.

I just cried watching someone evacuate their pet tortoise named Tiptoe from the wildfires so I’m doing so well mentally. Can’t wait to see what 2025 continues to bring us!

We all know he’s going to go bragging to his buddies about how he’s such a tough manly man who won’t shake women’s hands but we can all see what a cowardly little bitch he actually is.

There was a time I would get angry about the incoming president’s hateful holiday messages but I’m so exhausted and I care so little about him now that I’m just grateful to not be such a miserable and lonely person.

Asking for pics of cute pets isn’t engagement farming and there’s no shame in participating. Anyway here’s my dogs:

My family has their flaws, sure, but at least I can count on them not putting the Village People on and making us all do the double handy job dance at Thanksgiving.

I have painters working in my house and one of them keeps sighing loudly, and so as a millennial I’m very concerned that he hates my house, this job and most of all, me.

Raging at old white men who always drive at least 10 below the speed limit is my new therapy. Fuck you for being a Trump voter and also for driving slow in Ohio with Florida plates. Ya goddamn racist snowbird.