Since the power was out this morning, and all the breakfast food in the house needs cooking; I stopped and got an egg mcmuffin and it was so disappointing. Everyone knows I do egg sandwiches, so you know I gotta show the people how it's done.

it is pretty cock thursday saturday

I need a woman to crawl into my lap and rub her face on me, maybe even lick my cheek.

I don't install "gooner mods"; I'm a lady, so they're "pornographic modifications".

approximately three hundred of you have sent me this and you know what? Sure. I’ve got time today. Put 40 bulbs of garlic in my pasta, coming right up

Its a shame there weren't anti-abortion weirdos at the planned parenthood yesterday. I would have gone up to them and said, "Don't worry, I'm not actually pregnant, I'm just fat."

friends, have you heard the good news?

The power is out over here, ladies, are you a bad enough bitch to make out with me in the dark?

So what you're telling me is not only is Virtua Fighter back, but also that Virtua Fighter is back.

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam has me thinking about how motherfuckers are all "We need to cure autism" and I'm like, "Oh, so you're working for The Titans, I see..."

That's me, I'm the weighted girlfriend.

Deus Ex: Game of the Year Edition (Steam) is $0.78 on GMG buff.ly/MSRlrsM #ad Deck playable

HAPPY WIDE WITCH WEDNESDAY

Deus ex remastered? Nah I'll be playing The Lay D Denton Project Where you play as a hot transgender woman

I've been a brave bitch today, what with getting my blood drawn and driving around in heavy traffic without crying, so I'm rewarding myself with a bag of Hi-Chews and a lime Jarritos.

Cima for the girliesss

Instead of getting this, consider playing the original and just using Deus Exe to fix the problems that arise on modern systems. kentie.net/article/dxgu... bsky.app/profile/wari...

This is...giving off some real "Nintendo, hire this man!" energy...

Mobile Beautiful Soldier Sayla Moon! From the doujinshi The Commercial (not the best SEO, I know).

At the planned parenthood to discuss how I can get hotter.

I failed my pregnancy test. Got the wrong answer on question five and now I gotta repeat the whole trimester.

All you have to do is draw a summoning circle on the floor, provide an offering, recite the incantations, and if your offering is acceptable then we can hang out.

[Me flirting] So, you a Red 9 kind of girl, or do you go for the Blacktail?

Good morning, dorks.

Damn, the girls are saying I'm hot.

this is the funniest possible way to describe GWAR

New video showing off how I can lick my own nipples posted up, you know where to find it.

This fit goes hard (Sailor Moon)

The only advice I truly feel qualified to give to the youth of this nation in these troubling times is to never let your family members know you understand how computers work.

Barbarian Vitelotte 💜

Hyaku Shiki needs to surf Zeta.

I just want all the ladies out there to know that I can do this IRL.

When I realized this was US Dreams I had to dig this classic out of my drawer. They were smoking something good over there, I tell you.

Ultimate Companion for Windows (US Dreams, Windows, 1994)

I am looking at them right now, they are spinning that wax, and their taste is excellent.

Who the hell would use shit like ChatGPT when Dear Daria on the 2002 Sony Clié PEG-NX80V exists

I want to try the Costco Explosion Wine.

I bought the whole trail mix, but honestly I just wanted those roasted sesame sticks.

couple goals right there

Confidence building trick: Instead of saying "Nobody wants to be with me", simply say "None can withstand my might!" Instead of saying "I'm not smart enough to do this", say "My machinations are beyond your comprehension, worm!" Instead of "This feels so pointless", say "YOU WASTE MY TIME, MORTAL!"

"Cut! Ms. Sweeney, the line is 'Sieg 𝘡𝘦𝘰𝘯'"