Looking at this again on my PC, the duck looks photoshopped in more than anything has ever been photoshopped into any picture, but it was actually there. How'd I pull that off

PALACE WIN, ABSOLUTE SCENES FROM GEORGE THE BEAR #CPFC

Watching #CPFC play against a low block is basically just the same two steps over and over: 1. Adam Wharton makes a perfect pass milliseconds after getting the ball 2. The guy he passed to immediately does something you'd expect to see from a 62-rated FIFA player set to the Beginner AI level

The @coloradopalace.bsky.social watch party: me, a beanie baby, and a rubber duck. As it was meant to be #cpfc

Trying to watch the Avs game but I've got the Utah feed and I think I might rather be waterboarded They just said that "Nathan MacKinnon is missing for Utah tonight" help

I have apparently hit the "getting texted wellness checks" point of having not been out in a while whoops

Who needs meth? I've been sculpting via looksmaxxing for years by accidentally walking face-first into walls

Americans be like "This thing that's been happening for 250 years in this country doesn't represent our country 😭"

Fascinating how seemingly the only function of Kash Patel in society is to nerf Nathan Mackinnon

Thanks Google AI overview, but I'm more interested now in hearing about these implied atypical dunks that are done with a different number of hands than "one or two"

Always gotta rep the 295 states of America with your suit

Obviously I'm not gonna play a game called fucking "Mewgenics", but also my very, VERY long-standing method of never, ever, EVER giving a shit about the opinion of anyone who posts in earnest about Chris-Chan has been working well for me the last few days

For anyone planning to quit discord if you want to get a hold of me I'll be on top of a mountain screaming gaming commentary in morse code through an Alphorn

The Buffalo Bills when they finally lose the division race and get the 2nd-place schedule but next year rotates the AFC East and West so they'll still have to play the fucking Chiefs for the 17th year in a row anyway

Drake Maye's greatest crime yet is loading up on garbage time yards and TDs so that all the Pats fans still on Twitter who spent the last month arguing he was the obvious NFL MVP don't collectively throw themselves into a reservoir

Shout out Lady Gaga for making up for the last halftime show she was in by this time cursing the Pats to one of the best second-half shitshows ever

Say what you will about the Buffalo Bills, but they've never had a Super Bowl performance so embarrassing that the other team's kicker was a favorite for the SB MVP

www.twitch.tv/uzworm Starting shortly with my block of the Charity Hut once psych is done. I'll be doing a hell seed of DK64 Rando till around 6am pacific. Join us and donate as we say #FuckIce tinyurl.com/CH2026donate

uzworm on the dahir insaat bad

CHARITY HUT 2026 IS LIVE! @pinuwuk.itch.io, yours truly, @thejewker.bsky.social and @rejax.bsky.social will be streaming for a full 24 hours for Americans for Immigrant Justice! Check us out on @uzworm.bsky.social's Twitch! twitch.tv/uzworm

It's funny how for a normal person, the health issues I've had for the last few weeks would be catastrophic, like I told someone what I was going through the other day and she told me to go to the ER. Like, the ER?! Girl, I need blood coming out of at LEAST four orifices before I think about the ER

THE 24-HOUR CHARITY HUT IS HAPPENING TOMORROW AND SUNDAY BTW I JUST WON'T BE THERE MUCH, INSTEAD FOUR INTREPID OTHERS ARE TAKING UP THE REINS OF WHATEVER NON-TECMO STUFF THEY WANNA DO I GUESS SHIZ STARTS AT 12 MT/2 ET twitch.tv/uzworm

Super Bowl party discourse is the silliest shit of all time cause I can't think of a less fun experience than sitting by yourself watching a gridiron football game Like, oh, people are TALKING? During THE GAME? Good, I'll talk to them instead of watching the six minutes between every play!

1 (Nothing wrong with me) 2 (Nothing wrong with me) 3 (Nothing wrong with me) 4 (Nothing wrong with me) *12 minutes later* 174 (Nothing wrong with me) 175 (Nothing wrong with me) 176 (Nothing wrong with me)

If this didn't give away the sort of area I'm moving to, I checked out the local liquor store for the first time and showed my ID as I walked to the counter, and the guy shook his head and in a thick Russian accent said "No no, I have fake ID in case anyone need" lmao

Chat, is it a bad sign if the first thing I have to write on the move-in inspection for a new apartment is "the front door doesn't close"

Over on Twitter the "/pol/ was an Epstein psyop" people have immediately been leapfrogged by people using that as "proof" that Pizzagate and adrenochrome harvesting conspiracies were real, so

Just make the "/r9k/ was an Epstein plot" post now, I'm handing it to you for free! You'll still be making shit up, because you'll be banking on the knowledge of people who first heard of /r9k/ in 2022, but you can get so more clout that way!

8chan literally only ever got popular because in 2014 Moot decided to ban Gamergaters from /pol/, /v/, and /b/. Would love to hear the conspiracies on that one given he lost a lot of users from his supposed Epstein-funded right-wing honeypot as a result

If you don't know the history of /n/, your opinions on "Moot creating /pol/ the day he spoke to Epstein" are about as useful as anything that's ever been posted on /pol/

Joe Brady looks like a Tim Robinson character, and the Bills probably would've been better off just hiring Tim Robinson

1 (Nothing wrong with me) 2 (Nothing wrong with me) 3 (Nothing wrong with me) 4 (Nothing wrong with me) *12 minutes later* 174 (Nothing wrong with me) 175 (Nothing wrong with me) 176 (Nothing wrong with me)

Pulled up to the King Soopers and there's just a guy sitting in his truck with the windows open blasting Mambo No. 5 at top volume with a stoic look on his face. When I left the King Soopers, he was still there, once again listening to Mambo No. 5

The Bills lost in embarrassing fashion AND took out Denver's QB in the process? This was like the dream football day!

Kinda fitting that after a lifetime of shilling secular pseudoscience and bogus theories about everything from physics to gravity to manifestation, the literal last thing Scott Adams did in his dumbass life was fall for Pascal's Wager

Crumble your local millennial to dust by reminding them that to a modern child, Pokemon is as old and entrenched a piece of media in Pop Culture as Scooby Doo was to them as a kid

I literally just logged on here to make this exact post only to find I'd already made it, which I think illustrates the point nicely 😬

It's nice knowing that regardless of how bad things have been going in terms of mental health the past weeks, Stranger Things fans are somehow doing worse.

As I was driving home on I-25 I was shocked at the fact there was any amount of congestion given it being Christmas night; turns out there was a literal car on fire just on one of the exit ramps so yeah I guess I see why people were slowing down 😬

My mom got a fuzzy purple robe for herself for Christmas that said it was "one size fits all". It is so large that she looks like she's wearing a grimace Halloween costume

I'm hopefully moving soon and I'm hoping that I'll re-enter society when that happens

I know I'm getting old but I'm still young enough to say that no, I don't want someone who is only 7 days older than me to be the coach of the Rapids

The internet being down for 24 hours here really made it clear that if there ever were a zombie apocalypse, I'd probably just lay in bed the entire time until they got to me because reaching out to the outside world would be too much work

The final boss of white people Thanksgiving has arrived 😱

Quote of the night: "Under the regular hoop in basketball, they should have a second, bigger hoop that makes you lose a point if it goes through so teams that can't shoot feel bad"

When you have the state Medicaid run out of a specific hospital, you get a prescription from a doctor at that hospital, and the insurance after two weeks declines it anyway

I don't frequently drive down Colfax at night so I'm not sure if the person casually juggling torches in the middle of the street is always there but I'm a fan

Might have to return to TikTok because they're having a moment with Groypers, 4chan, re-litigation of Gamergate and stuff right now, and I saw a video where someone (whose entire knowledge of 4chan was watching The Anti-Social Network" claimed that 4chan was a "left-wing" website at the start ಠ_ಠ