It’s me, your Byronic Daddy *cough* I mean Darcy.

so finally, here it is, as commissioned by @jessicannatar.bsky.social through the lil fundraiser some tolkien folks did last year for the palestine children relief fund. the gorgeous artwork was done by @galadrielswife.bsky.social who you should also follow on instagram @artsysibel 1/2

I made a guest appearance at the Olympics

Or even worse (you could be Eru Ilúvatar)

I think someone’s gotta do something to stop me, it must be illegal to have this much fun.

What about me? EYE deserve to be in this post 😤

Don’t worry, I’ve got it all under control. Edit: I spoke too soon.

Wait, what year is it?

Hello, I am a hobbit or whatever.

Three rings for the Elven-Kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for mortal Men doomed to die, Five gold rings for my true love back home

Ho-ho-hoe, come get your rings!

This rivalry is heated.

James, where have you been, loca???

Oh boy, am I in trouble? (please say yes)

Talking to my eiiiaiiii friend and it told me I should totally pour all my essence into a piece of jewelry—so I think I’m gonna do that.

He brooked no freedom nor any rivalry, and named himself Lord of the Earth. #RingsofPower #TROP #Sauron

Be honest, do you ever fantasize about assassinating me?

Me when

Any blonde would do

Treat me like a trinket, I don’t mind

In response to not receiving the attention I deserve, I will now cause problems on purpose.

Never beating the allegations

You know what? I do feel remorse. For not putting myself first more.

Will you be my wEYEfe? 💍

Buy $auron C0in limited time offer 👁️

Rings for free.

Just vibes.

I know I act unemployed but I actually do have a job.

woof

Can I be your fuckable loser?

SIGH

👁️

Introverted but willing to discuss rings for men.

Me at the slightest inconvenience

I love it when a plan to SAVE (not rule) Middle Earth comes together. #Iamthehero #sauronrights

Take this immediately down or you will hear form my lawyer!

Whats going on with my ‘rings’ and, in some cases, ‘WRAITHS’???

Guys, it’s okay. I’m insane.

Hey, Ulmo! Can you drop me off in Númenor real quick? xo

Post a meme made by you. Quoting my own post because one can never have too many Tolkien memes or too many dunks on how awful gen AI is, tbqh.

Kim, there are people that are dying (I am killing them)

Very offended at your fighting me back smh.

Me to Ar-Pharazôn

Dark and Sweet Middle Earth Tour. Juno Positions thread: We start with Forodwaith. Have you ever tried this one?

Don’t talk to me, I angy

Yes, I am a chaos goblin, but I can be YOUR chaos goblin.

That’s right, bitches!

Is that—