Ok so drones the size of cars are flying around a country where citizens own 113 million rifles. Seems to me the solution is simple.

Anyone: "hey did you hear what Trump said about-' Me: "fuckin braaaaap"

7 reasons why The Thing (1982) is a Christmas film: 1) snow 2) bearded men concealing surprises 3) compulsory party games 4) introverts shunning group activities 5) digestive issues 6) revellers bursting open to reveal partially assimilated canine lifeforms 7) knitwear

I think it's probably okay at this point to throw out all the extra bakery that was made in a haze after November 5th. Just letting some of you know that.

Hot from the Skillet with plenty of North Carolina spice!!

I’ve been working on some demon eyes for the October installment of #gimmefive #comics. The first eyes I drew weren’t demony enough. @scottysky.bsky.social and I just closed out next month’s new #reddemon tale. It’ll be out next month.

Just when you thought your day was going well!

jimmy buffet died on a 3 day weekend so we can have one extra day to have an extra margarita

gonna run errands today. then take a motorbike ride. sit by lake michigan and think of the monsters underneath the water for a little bit. then ride home. last day of summer break blues.

Went to drop off issues of my comic (Gimme Five Comics) at a comic book store. Got there as they opened so I could catch up with the owner & there were 5 other guys in the parking lot waiting for it to open. Nobody under 30 though. Are videos the new comics? if so, I'll go down with the ship.

the show FISK is my new buttered sausage

Meanwhile, in another part of Gotham City...

This looks like the kind of guy who sells bluesky codes.

To skeet or not to skeet, that is the motherskeeting question

1996 called. It wants its Dancing Baby email chain attachment back. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1g0AFuuB907YPyU3Jv4-4f2B8A88if8rs/view?usp=sharing

You know, they say that when it comes to the Canada fires, the flames are so intense, even a hockey puck would melt faster than ice in a microwave. It's like nature's way of saying, "Oh, you thought we were just all about maple syrup and politeness? Hold my moose."

Teacher memetine

"O Canada" starts to sound less like a national anthem and more like something you say when the cat pukes on the carpet.

Easter candy is cheap as hell right now FYI

The gas pump ad just told me the deals on milk and bread inside "are fire" and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

If this is where you are, lfr you're smoking 300 cigarettes a day

Well, it's not far down to Paradise At least it's not for me And if the wind is right, you can skeet away And find tranquillity Skeeting takes me away To where I've always heard it could be (No apologies, Christopher Cross, bro, none)

One.lost.shoe @ IG

I love my friend's photography and wanna share, so there🎈

Edinburgh Airport: What the fuck am I looking at tartan kilts for, when I could be in the bar?

In a staff versus students kickball game today, I scored one of our only two runs! I believe my last one was in 1977. But still...

Went to a bar & on the list of available beers was Zima. So I asked the bartender who orders Zima? "We haven't had that in over 2 years," she said. "We've just never updated the list, I guess." So that means once bars started opening up after COVID, someone was like, "fuck it, let's pound Zimas."

Just watched "The Strays" on Netflix. Loved the ending. Conversely, I bailed out of the new Ant-Man movie after 25 minutes. Radio killed the video star; Disney killed Marvel movies.

Don't judge me but the only John Travolta film I really like is Phenomenon.

So my new thing now is writing five page stories with characters I've made up or I've yanked from the public domain to toy around with. Short attention span comics. Will start shopping it around shortly.

It's June in eastern Wisconsin along the Lake. No snow. Yet.

If someone is looking for a pet that will continuously gaslight them, which kind would be best? Asking for a friend.

Today's side quest: I have a bag full of babies and I'm putting them into coworkers backpacks, bags, and purses when they aren't looking.

Michelle Lasso is a dumbass. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Pitch: Friends remake but takes place in the Thunderdome

Just a heads up, I'll stand up and object to your marriage if you start making a lip sync video before the ceremony begins.

you know what is nice about this place for now: no massive fan communities that exist to swamp anyone who mentions them. you can just say zack snyder should have just kept makin music videos and you wont get a guy with a batman avatar trying to send a swat team to your house

Officially out today! A day early! Available in every country in any big box or indie store from Markosia, London, UK

In a disaster movie (tanking plane/sinking ship) -which character would you play? (I would be the watchful, cynical, fatalistic drinker who does something surprisingly nice.)

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I had ChatGPT write a course proposal w/ state standards (as requested by my admin). Without asking it broke said class down into a potential thematic unit based curriculum. It did all this in less time than it's taking me to write this post. ChatGPT saved me at least 3 hours. Course was approved.

So who is the female counterpart of Keanu Reeves? Dolly Parton? Betty White? Sandra Bullock? Leaning toward the latter.

The further you ride, the more you learn about what you truly want out of a motorcycle.

Wife got knee replacement surgery this past Thursday, so any loud CLANK! or THUD! or BANG! gets my heart racing faster than the time I thought I woke up from a ghost (which turned out to be one of my kids coming into my room in the middle of the night when they were tiny, whispering, and moaning).

One sign you've planned a proper Saturday is if you have time to finish a whole pot of coffee in the morning.

What if it turns out the pink box of biscuits from Ted Lasso was inside of us, all along?