Think high-tech innovation, think…

Trump needs to be shoehorned into an XXXL straitjacket and thrown into a padded cell.

Right, time to get some shuteye. Please let you-know-who be you-know-what in the morning.

Forsythia (nystersia tersianysus)

Donald Trump is the Donald Trump of real life.

Raymond Burr’s brother Tim was a lumberjack. His other brother Kai was an arse.

Trump isn’t exactly FDR, is he?

“This is not Winston Churchill we’re dealing with”, says a suit full of lard.

Aaaand…

I want a loo seat that doesn’t move about.

The Reverend Spooner’s favourite Evangelical preacher’s name was Byron Frimstone.

On the 55th anniversary of its release, I’ve just listened to this for the umpteenth time. To my 14-year-old ears it sounded as though it came from outer space. Still love it.

One of the recently-released pictures of Jeffrey Epstein shows him sitting at a piano, looking annoyingly similar to Burt Bacharach. Sorry, Burt, but as Roy Walker used to say, “If you see it, say it”.

Superman was weakened by a slow-acting substance called Kryptommorownite.

You know in ‘The Simpsons’ when someone makes what they think is a really funny comment, two people to the side stare blankly at each other? I picture them when I hear the two BBC snowboarding commentators.

Right, who wants to hold the other end?

That’s the next few weeks sorted out, then.

The tallest skyscraper in Bavaria is the Oompah State Building.

The name’s Bond, Jim Bond. Not the same, is it?

This is how I order a bun filled with Dutch fine-cut tobacco: Drum roll, please…

“This final set comes to you ad-free, courtesy of Rolex.”

National anthem is the opposite of national anus.

The 49ers jerseys are hideous, apparently.

Nice sky blue pink sky down our way this afternoon.

I’ve started working as a Brian Blessed impersonator. Business is booming.

St Mary & St Michael’s Church, Mistley, a short walk from my house. Nice, innit?

Received this at noon today (16th). Note the date in the message. Anyone else smell a rat, or have received something similar?

Bert Weedon was once in a trio with Wally Whyton and Barry Withmetic.

I don’t know how long it will take for the Earth to be destroyed by the Sun but it won’t be enough time for Rio Ferdinand to live down yesterday’s World Cup draw.

I dried my hands here It should have taken seconds But it took ages

This World Cup draw thing is unremitting cobblers. JUST GET ON WITH IT!

Scotland v Denmark. As Alex Ferguson once observed, “Football… bloody hell”.

Roy Chubby Brown’s real name is Roy Chusband Brown.

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🎶 Everybody was…

Donald Trump really really doesn’t like this photo, so whatever you do… don’t share it. He would HATE that. 😈

The album ‘Euro-Country’ by CMAT is wonderful. That’s it.

Weird trail in the sky down our way.

Does anyone have any flies they want to get rid of? There’s nowhere near enough of the fuckers in our house at the moment.

I missed Trump’s parade. Was it any good?

Brian Wilson. This one really hurts.

Day 152 of #365DaysOfSmiles Nailed it!

That would be awful. Don’t share this.

A trip down the Essex coastline: William Walton, Freddie Frinton, Cunty Clacton.

The young bloke on the new iPhone 16 TV ad looks like Nazz-era Todd Rundgren.

- Who sang lead on ‘Tie a Yellow Ribbon’? - Tony Orlando - Could you be more specific?

I went to a mutant camel barbecue but by the time I got there the best bits had gone. I got the right hump.

Pope Leo XIV’s inauguration ceremony is happening on my birthday. (But not because of that.)

Correct.

Mark Carney to Donald Trump: “See you next Tuesday.” Quite.