Find someone who loves you as much as my husband loves to brush his teeth in the airport restroom before and after every flight.

He has learned he has to climb up as far onto the couch as he can to avoid the reach of the baby.

Every time I have a column come out in the newspaper my sweet husband insists on buying a physical copy so he can read it and say "this one was really special." We love a cheerleader.

I'm told the paywall on this was removed. Enjoy!

My column today about living in Russia and meeting a stranger. www.sltrib.com/religion/202...

On the sleep I'm getting right now. www.itjustgetsstranger.com/a-hotel-room...

Daylight savings tonight. Don't forget to put out cookies for Santa.

Halloween is such a perfect holiday to reground yourself in your community. Just throngs of different people wandering the neighborhood with their kids appreciating strangers for helping create something magical. This is what most of us crave.

Pooh, Piglet, and I'm supposed to be Christopher Robbin.

Good morning I fully just vomited in my backyard from taking the dirty diapers out to the garbage I am not cut out to be a parent

Am I paranoid to think they are judging me

Feeling really great that my child's first word is not "dad" but instead is "poo."

People told us if we got a pack and play, our baby would love it. They didn't specify which baby though.

If you're in need of a dose of joy go read this.

Definitely worth a read.

"..Our mothers’ only hesitation in turning us into nuns was that they didn’t know if they were up to the textile task...classmates...asked us where we got our cool hats... neighborhood moms and dads...shepherded us up and down our streets, with glee — ...requesting an encore."

Someone be cutting onions around here

My column this morning for @sltrib about Halloween memories as a very gay little boy. www.sltrib.com/religion/202...

A fun article today in HuffPost about my relationship with my mother in law. www.huffpost.com/entry/mother...

Just heard my husband in the next room yell "are you pooping" so I responded "...um...no?" and he shouted back "obviously I'm talking to our toddler." So that's a thing that just happened in our house.

A quick story on the very important reason we went to Paris. www.itjustgetsstranger.com/a-photo-shoo...

A quick story on the very important reason we went to Paris. www.itjustgetsstranger.com/a-photo-shoo...

I toasted four hamburger buns on the grill, brought them in, put them on the counter, and now there's only half of one bun left. I cannot figure out, for the life of me, where it went.

My column today about the Lone Cedar Tree. www.sltrib.com/religion/202...

My baby is napping on me and he just put the ball right there.

We had to do it. We had no other choice.

Just watched a woman in socks walk into the urine-drenched lavatory on this flight.

Found him napping with baby's teddy bear.

Mitt Romney is having a meltdown on twitter over my column that he clearly did not actually read. www.sltrib.com/religion/202...

Story in Newsweek this morning about a time my niece wanted a tour of my house. www.newsweek.com/man-gets-awk...

❤️ Eli's writing, it always makes me smile 😄

A quick story about going to the farmers market. www.itjustgetsstranger.com/farmers-mark...

He spent the day taking care of the new baby and just need to rest for a minute on one of the baby's toys.

Left our 11 month old with my parents last night, our first night away from him, and when we FaceTimed them at 10 PM to ask how he did going down to bed, they were at a family party and baby was up partying with them. I'm obsessed with their grandparent era.

Told my husband I heard a fun idea where we spend 10 minutes every night cleaning up before bed and he informed me he already does this for an hour and "oh my god did you not even notice" and now I regret sharing this.

Just canned 12 quarts of pickles for my family who doesn't eat pickles.

He decided we don't need to change the duvet cover.

We're at a play and it's intermission and my husband just left and came back with a blanket wrapped around him?

I've gotten kind of good at pickleball and I started feeling very proud of myself until I remembered the thing I'm proud of is that I've gotten kind of good at pickleball.

A quick story about finding out my baby can crawl. www.itjustgetsstranger.com/crawling/

A quick story about finding out my baby can crawl. www.itjustgetsstranger.com/crawling/

The powers that be removed the paywall from my Sunday column.

I panicked for a second because I didn't know where my baby was. Fortunately he was able to help me with the search since I was holding him at the time.

My column today about the emergence of reality TV during my childhood. www.sltrib.com/religion/202...

My column today about the emergence of reality TV during my childhood. www.sltrib.com/religion/202...

I would like to apologize for the number of times I have said, out loud, with my human mouth, "taking care of a baby really isn't all that hard." For I was wrong. I was a wrong wrong man.* *My baby has started crawling.

Currently watching old episodes of House with my physician husband. Highly would not recommend.

You guys are never going to believe who just found the ball he's been looking for since April.

My gay ass husband is shopping for PJs online and he just texted his mother "who is your nightgown dealer."

My baby learned to crawl yesterday and the very first thing he did was beeline to an outlet and try to put his mouth on it. How has the human race survived this long