YOU SAY THEYRE GETTING DIVORCED?!?!

High thought: Mandami's style is interesting bc before anything, he gets you to agree with him. Question hits, he relates it to a media or public figure parallel that makes you say YES. Mentally you've said yes (relational positive) before his efficient response hits

I hate being -phone flashlight is always on and makes years old jokes- years old years old

Dealers need to rebrand cocaine as Blowzempic©

Reminder: There's a bunch of 12 year old Kahleesis running around the playground rn

Yooooo my weed man was on da jumbo tron at the hockey game

Ah yes, it has been 4 years. Time for Terra Lupinski to crawl out of Michelle Kwan's shadow for 1 week of relevancey

Anna mumbling next to me: "Italy reminding everyone they invented the profession that killed princess Diana"

Trivia on groundhog day means listening to 'i got you babe" lime 40 fucking times

Will die mad at the secretly wealthy college friends doing a fucking bumspringa, sending venmo requests for their food insecure friends for like a half a walking taco

"They say they're coming to save us from some evil? They're talking about our neighbors who take care of us ... Alex was murdered while he was helping. Mr Rogers said look for the helpers, & right now the helpers have a target on our forehead ... Mr Rogers would be here right now too, so I'm here."

Really just the absolute floor of demands that ICE must be abolished, dismantled, and everyone involved with its creation held accountable.

Physical Asia has opened up so many opportunities for me to talk about Mongolian eagle hunters

Is OpenAI a turkey because this headline is a stonecold murder

Coworkers will roast me for getting Popeyes and come in with Dunkies 3 days a week. Both places are gonna fuck up our orders, I know mine will be edible tho

*hits the pen* You think white chefs keep tryna "elevate" Asian and brown American/South American food because how bad we fucking body them with their own pastries?

Really a WFP win here. The Democratic platform is still hot dogshit

Fucking typical Staten Island

As a Filippino I resonate with One Piece bc everything dope is just a descriptive of it repeated twice

Anyway, here's what my queer leftist group chats look like

We fucked up Moussaka could've been called Kababbler

Tiktok now: COME WITH ME TO TRY THE VIRAL |-elcome to my debate with a demontor, to|- EVERY TIE TO EPSTEI |- does any one else hate fatties and and minorities in public? Me quietly sobbing: ᴾᶦᵍᵍʸ ᵈᶦᵖᵖᶦⁿ' *ˢⁿᶦᶠᶠ*

This app is still weird. Like organic progressive content is rare, it's a greenhouse for DNC taking points, and the search results for "LEFTIST" are willlllllld

It's a dead fact that if you're earnestly posting the words "what's a furry?" on the Internet; log off. It's too late. You will never catch up Take up HaM radio and enjoy your life instead

All these white women holding space for Kirk, c'mon it's not like he was your boyfr-....... .... Oh no, honey 🥺

Can't beat the rebrand that let corporate raiders hide behind "private equity" Let's bring it back tho

2026 headlines are gonna be like: my sous vide machine reported me to the ATF

How are ppl watching The Hunting wives? It's like a bot watched 80 years of Hallmark movies and was asked to make a gay suspense thriller

Can someone use AI to spam every corner of the internet with fake Disney IP and Raytheon admins SSNs so it gets throttled? Y'all are out of control

My dream movie recast: Raul Julia as the Anna Wintour character in The Devil Wears Prada

New term " Dogewhistles " When white boys are always checking r/wallstreetbets and shit, say they're cool with anyone but won't say who they voted for

Scouse accent is hot af but y'all are just classist 🥸

Not Asian Asian like: Like:

guys will be like "these people are ruining america" and it'll be a picture of the coolest guys ever

this goes incredibly hard

Target selling pride merch is like a straight wearing Alice in Wonderland merch at pride Pedestrian effort. We know you don't care

Waiting for a spinoff about the ego loss narcotic binge that led to the creation of that fictional game in the first episodes of The Bear

Predictable. There was no "placing" required

If you say ChatGPT 3x into a mirror, a 2010s compsci major will appear and bitch about GenEd and ethics requirements

Prepping to be on a queer panel and holy shit, YouTube is DESPERATE to feed you bigot media when searching entry level lessons on trans ppl Not surprised but holy shit is it bad

I low-key fuck with math rock. It reminds me of walking to school with a glassjaw album I my discman that skips whenever I'm really getting into it

So is there like some chump in each theatre at Cannes with a stopwatch who times the standing ovations?

I just saw a Star Wars Ren faire on tiktok It's literally not discernable from a damn flea market Flea market with Roomba trash cans

Inbox: The Women’s Liberation Front, an organization that denies the existence of transgender people, says it plans to meet with several members of Congress next week, including more than a dozen Democrats.

Need to start shaking ppl when I say: We're still in the demolition phase, the meat grinders are coming together slowly. Act now or perish.

Ppl are really out here eating the donuts from dunkin'? 3D printed ass tasting donuts

just so we’re all clear: the reason they keep using dolls as their example is because they’re trying to frame caring about material stuff as feminine and thus inherently shameful

Zuck proving that men will literally boil oceans to fuel their plagiarism machines before they do the work to be likable

The consent was manufactured when the Biden decided to oppose the fucking hauge. Y'all cheered the subversion of the rule of law