CHIEF: Kat Abu is in our sights. Take the shot! THE WOKE GINGER: I can't, Sir. I'm Woke! ME (watching through binoculars): He's woke! He wont do it!

John Ossoff is the "John Ossoff of sucking"

You ever move your fridge all the way out from the wall and clean all the shit behind and under it. It looks exactly like this motherfucker and sucks a lot less.

Do you have a very stupid game on your phone you probably tap a little more than you should? Mine’s this and it’s wicked dumb:

Comrade Public Library 🫡

Arsenal really blew it.

Every once in a while I'm reminded that there's a Senator named Timmy Tubesteak and my mind is blown all over again.

I just got done rescheduling EVERY FUCKING SINGLE GODDAMNED U13 Soccer match for the Spring for my kid's team. Thanks a lot, other fucking soccer teams.

I can see why this fucker got into aviation:

Absolutely aghast at the idea of someone reading everything else in the Guardian but not reading the best part of the Guardian

Folks,

We've seen another morning of increased ICE activity with DHS helicopter out and about in Chicagoland. Feds have taken people from Humboldt Park and Ravenswood. Vehicles also seen in Rogers Park. ICE watchers are asking north side neighbors to get outside and keep an eye on landscapers & laborers.

We should really stop referring to people as “swing voters” and call them what they are: Fucking Idiots.

More than any other team, Arsenal really dropped the ball in the Champions League this round.

Time to watch prime time CBS!

This is not true.

I'd be like "I'm sorry sir, but this is a Union shop and management can't perform bargaining unit work."

Here’s the irony, shitting on virtue signaling is almost always an act of virtue signaling.

Anyone who craps on "virtue-signalling", in this day & age, is a fool, adopting a hipster pose. Is "virtue signalling" enough, to bring change? No. Should everyone be doing it anyway, if just to push back against what can only be called overwhelming, widespread, "vice signalling"? Absolutely.

Honestly I wouldn't want anyone in my cabinet wearing under a size 10 either.

"i think he bought the wrong size"

My favourite thing about this stat is it doesn't involve Arsenal because this is the sort of stat that usually involves Arsenal

Jake Paul gets on stage at the Trump rally and has the nastiest pit stains I've ever seen (it also appears the crowd doesn't know who he is)

me.

I'm going to almost feel bad when Arsenal knocks Bodø/Glimt out.

Another Donnarumma howler.

You love to see it. #RMAMCI

Real Madrid treating City like the damned Washington Generals. #RMAMCI

City are fuckin' washed. #RMAMCI

It was almost as if Donnarumma forgot he was the goalkeeper and could use his hands...

Aren't goalkeepers supposed to STOP the ball with their arm if they can? #RMAMCI

we now have an answer to “what if caligula had dementia?”

Am I a chopped scrub uncle?

I support Gavin eating my shit in everything including sports.

Maybe they relied on AI to pick targets. But they bombed the school twice, hitting it again 40 minutes after the initial strike, in order to kill survivors and first responders. The mere *existence* of AI means no one has to be held responsible for this crime against humanity

BIG IF TRUE!

Best Campaign font award winner.

Happy International Women’s Day from Pitbull

I’m at the combination Applebee's and IHOP

If I ever willfully steer my vehicle into a wall or off a bridge, blame the TED Radio Hour.

Just found this guy IRL

Watching David Attenborough’s pre historic planet and Fabian Hurzeler makes an appearance

I've been walking around calling this motherfucker "Mac The Night" for forty fucking years like a goddamned dumbass.

Sometimes I question whether or not I can say I had a working class upbringing on account of both my parents going to SOME college, but next to this guy I was born working in turn of the century textile mill.

I think of Buster Bluth a lot when Graham Platner comes up nowadays