Axes are POINTLESS and boorish. YOU lack the precision needed to wield a shortsword.

Why. Would I be wielding. A CURSED SWORD.

Which speaks to the versatility of the shortsword.

That has nothing to do with the weapon and everything to do with the hands it falls into. You can curse an axe, too.

They are CLASSIC and don’t require CHANGING.

( he narrows his eyes— not angry, but more embarrassed than anything. ) … I think, out of those three, I only really prefer you.

Shortswords are basically one of the most classic weapons. Everyone loves shortswords.

YOU’RE not subtle, you mean.

Not when we’re in front of 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦. What would Rosie think?

… ( he softens a little, at that explanation. looks a little shy. ) I guess, when you look at it that way, it doesn’t sound so bad.

You’re so fucking— shameless.

// my bisexual knight #MyBisexualKnight

( a low voice, through immensely gritted teeth, ) 𝙄𝙤.

What? No you’re not, come on.

It’s not projecting you had that stupid— LOOK on your FACE. That you get, when you’re being perverted.

I don’t KNOW. SOMETHING perverted.

Do NOT put me close to him right now.

Oh, so I’m unique in a weird way. ( it’s stated like a fact, not an accusation. )

… Right. I… feel like you’re being facetious, but I can’t tell.

He’s deleting his posts and trying to make me look crazy.

You literally THOUGHT OF IT FIRST.

// how it feels to watch me and richie’s friends bring their ocs from our shared worldbuilding project to bluesky

ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤYOU WANT POWER ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ...DON'T YOU? ㅤㅤㅤ —————————————— ⠀ #OCRP / #MVRP ⠀

I didn’t realize you were moral enough to care about paying people fairly. … You’re thinking about something uncouth, aren’t you.

He’s seething right now.

That’s not— … what I was talking about.

He’s SO jealous.

Do you want them? I’d be happy to never have to wrangle them again, you know.

The demon of Babylon hides within the coat of the righteous.

I still doubt it’s harder than being captain of an entire legion of soldiers— but, sure.

Is that good.

If you put us in the shirt I’m going to kill him.

Don’t call me that unless you mean it— which I know you don’t. There’s no way that senseless killing is harder than wrangling a bunch of men under your control, or keeping the head of a country safe, not to mention the diplomatic meetings, the upkeep of a good image— I can keep going.

( muttering ) Look at him. Waving his stupid fucking potions and blades in Rosie’s face— YOU’RE GOING TO HURT THEM

( don’t think too hard about it. ) Well— don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself. The people that matter know where the spears are. If someone trips over the spears, it’s someone I didn’t trust enough to have in my room in the first place. Which means they’re probably in there without permission. ☝️

With a lot of things, actually. I know this concept might be weird to you, what with you being an aimless vagabond, but having a real job means that I’m busy with real responsibilities. ( his eye narrows. )

… 🙂💢 Interesting. He said he warded my room to be soundproof. That’s interesting.

It’s not— you heard that?

Not in the slightest.

… 💢 Io knows where the spears are as well.

// everyone follow michael my friend michael ok? and be nice to him

That fucking tiefling that I hate.

Something just happened.

TEMP. PINNED #ocrp / #mvrp

( it’s cute that they’re amused by this, but he’s deadly serious. ) I know where they are, so I won’t step on them. In time, you’ll know where they are through muscle memory too— and I don’t have guests in my room, so that won’t be an issue.

( reading off another cue card ) Smoking that “bisexual pack” the way I’m rolling both ways—WHO’S WRITING THESE.

( reading off a cue card ) Shawty. I need your help. A horde of goblins is attacking the castle and the only way to save our people is to… ( adjusting reading glasses ) Let me Hit it raw from the b—I can’t say this sort of thing.

the floor is, arguably, the safest place for them to be.

i don’t like them, but it helps.

( nods sagely ) the killings.