All you need to know about me is that I find a way to quote the Two Towers weekly in all contexts for any reason

Enrolling for marketplace healthcare and unsurprised to see my monthly premium for the same plan is now +$300 for 2026. If any of you want to put me on payroll so I can get deeply subsidized insurance that would be huggggge BDE 😏 Please daddy

Spending money on people who make my life easier & support me/my community brings me SO much joy. Buying lunch for dog groomers/walkers, sending gift cards to elder care workers, handing a fat tip to mail delivery folks, getting snacks & hand warmers for school crossing guards…

It’s my birthday 🥰

Fully how some clients think I’m going to show up to the outcall

🤭

From Day 1 as an LMT I made it a priority to do as much pro bono work as my body can handle & this last month has been a grind. With the stress of constant instability/war, people’s bodies are carrying so much pain and panic that they’re recoiling even from therapeutic touch.

Dreaded phrase in an introductory email: “Before I provide all the details in your booking form…” 🙃

Oops I did it again Refused to take off my Halloween costume until someone took it off for me 😍🔥 #datechicago #gfe #escort #halloween

Sign me up for more late mornings. Now where did I put my panties… #datechicago #gfe #escort #fmty

Preparing lunch. I have so many fancy oil cruets and bottles but my favorite is this blasphemous little guy 😇 La minestra o la finestra 🤷‍♀️

My date saw my necklace was all tangled and fixed it. 🥰 Look out for me and I’ll look out for you, baby, that’s what it’s all about.

Previously I noted that I have a fondness for stamps, so while traveling in DC I made the pilgrimage to Big Stamp aka the National Postal Museum. Why was I aroused after? 🧐 And more importantly, who will address it?

Latest blog is out this morning on Substack, loves. I allocated a couple hundred words to talk about my experience with seasonal depression and intimacy. 💙 open.substack.com/pub/elenamar... #writing #substack #datechicago #gfe #oursky

Obsessed with the Chess dot com app. I’m not as good as I thought I was, my endgame is meh because I get too cocky 😏 Who else plays?

Your favorite dinner date, awash in red lighting as she tends to do 💋 #oursky #datechicago #fmty #gfe

Lounge access at the airport for domestic travels is not super compelling to me personally because I play it way too fast and loose re: arriving at my gate prior to the start of boarding

Speaking to my pedicurist, to the tune of “Shallow”: Tell me something, girl Do you like it when toenails are curled? Cause I could use some more Length cut from these claws because long toenails I abhor Lost it at the end but you get it. And they’re still longer than I like 🥲

Packing for my short trip, a grueling effort. I’m NOT an efficient packer. I have minis of everything, cubes, travel-hardy outfits, all the fixins and yet it takes me forever to assemble

Love waking up in my cozy and warm bed to something cozy and hot coming my way ✨ Grazie E

It is so thrilling to me when clients suggest duo partners, and I love to hear the reasoning behind it. 👻 You think we’re both freaky? 📚 You know the other provider reads a lot too? 💘 You just ~*feel*~ like we’re a match? Tell me what you know… 😍 And then bring us together

A hunch I have is that many lifelong learners are drawn to this community. This past year, I’ve had a go at rock climbing, learning card tricks, Thai massage, & Wordpress. Providers & clients, what skill/craft/information are you learning, honing, or otherwise working on?

Sometimes I distract myself—but can you understand why?—and forget to tell you that l’m traveling next week: ❤️‍🔥 DC: 10/9 - 10/11 ❤️‍🔥 PHL: 10/12 - 10/13 Send an email or submit a form on my website meetelenamarchetti (dot) com to request a date #datenortheast #datemidwest #gfe #escort

When we can't be together but he makes my day a little brighter with a tip 😍 Thank you, I can't wait til we meet again! #gfe #datechicago #fmty

Will my date like my outfit? Yes or no #datechicago #datemidwest #gfe #escort #fmty

“Hey Siri, play ‘Nightcall’ by Kavinsky.” So in love with our city. #datechicago #gfe #chicago

Will my date like my outfit? Yes or no #datechicago #datemidwest #gfe #escort #fmty

I understand it may be technically fine and safe, but it still seems gross to me, won’t be partaking. Proud of the cleanup tho!

I cannot stop looking at these photos! I’ve said before but I have a latent bird obsession; like me they are strange but beautiful. “The Aviary” is easily my absolute favorite collection from any fashion week so far this year 😍 🦜

Chronic outfit rewearer on travel days. Why would a hot girl wear a hot fit only once? Discuss in the comments #datechicago #gfe #fmty #datemidwest #escort

Love me some low-slung stratocumulus clouds to add spice to the space between major Midwest hubs 🌾☁️

The art in this hotel is so *real* it just speaks to me. This piece is titled, “When He Chose Sugary Mints Instead of a Toothbrush” 👏👏👏

Due to my careers I’m really one-trick pony with advice. It’s either “Get a massage” or “Book the girl” Name things that can’t be at least temporarily fixed by either or both.

Please every establishment that serves a Caesar salad, I am begging you: Supply me with adequate utensils to cut through the lettuce or please chop it for me! I’m tired of being embarrassed.

Wanting to move away from Spotify to another streaming platform, thinking Tidal. Tidal users, hype me up with your thoughts 🙌

In the shower, he told me my soft titties are “milky” but I heard “gnocchi” We hear what we want to hear 🤷‍♀️😂

Omw 2 u 😚 #datechicago #gfe #fmty #tmty #datemidwest #escort

a message from Frank Ocean and my ass (two highly aligned entities)

Buongiornooooooo! Clocking in with my August and September reads. 🫡 What are we reading these days?

Feels like a Miguel "Do You..." morning, what do you think? 🥰💦 youtu.be/u8CjiUHq1u4?...

This is the offseason drama I **LIVE** for! I love Kawhi as a former All-Star Spur, anyone Pop cares about is good in my book. Also he’s cute and his anti-media stance is hilarious. However this is extremely dumb of him and his team but I’m eating it up.

Seeing your name in my inbox is almost as good as seeing you in another box of mine… 😍

I’ve been informed that many of my emails from August didn’t go through. Don’t be a glutton for punishment, give me a nudge if you haven’t heard from me

Wouldn’t it be nice if your hands were on the headboard above me? 😇 #datechicago #datemidwest #datemilwaukee #oursky #gfe

this iconic advertising copywriter named Kathy Hepinstall Parks died over the weekend and I wanted to share something from her website I thought Bluesky would like

I don’t take naps regularly and I decided to take one this afternoon. I woke up as it’s starting to pour…so I guess I just go to bed now? 😴 P.S. rainy weather = unbelievably horny 💦

Woke up thinking about how great our key lime pie’s wig was. So natural. Could hardly even tell.

Niente foto per favore 📸 #oursky #escort #gfe #datechicago #nsfw

One thing that has always bothered me about civ dating via apps is how readily people compromise their loved ones. I get that you want to prove that you’re real, have friends, hobbies, etc. but I just think having your family & friends out there so you can get laid is weird

Yesterday was my ideal summer day: -bendy stretching + sweaty workout -warm–not hot–shower with my favorite shower oil to cool my muscles -spend time outside -tuck away with a client, talk, laze -pet a dog -read -meet friends for drink + live music -fall asleep on the couch ❤️