Chelsea are just fucking batshit crazy.

“And now to The Kooks with the other one you remember from your student days”

Here’s to 2026. The Chinese year of the chicken nugget lodged in the windpipe and the ketamine overdose. Fingers fuckin crossed.

Ronnie Wood there, looking 500 years old like he has since about 1987.

"Remember, there are no stupid questions. Just stupid people, with their endless fucking questions." - Me.

Happy new year, lads and lasses.

Sometimes the joke lines up perfectly.

Bit of argey-bargey in the game at West Ham. Brighton will be claiming this as another Derby next season.

Probably the least enjoyable 3-1 win I’ve ever seen. Couldn’t string two passes together in that second half - arguably after about 25 minutes. Wins a win, but this team has some serious issues in and around the box both attacking and defending. Shit scared of defending and shit scared of shooting

What kind of absolute psychopath thought a box of the worst chocolates in the box of Celebrations would be a big seller? Must’ve been at least 60 of them on that shelf.

Make A Bond Film Casual From Russia With No Strings Attached

Always disappointing to see racism from one of our fans. In the block bin it is then.

We were much better in that second half, but by fucking Christ this team has issues with creating chances. Too reticent to shoot or cross again. Hold onto it in wide positions too long so it either gets lumped in aimlessly, or passed sideways into oblivion. By far the better team, but no final ball

Well this will piss off all the right people.

Must be a transfer window round the corner, the begging stories in the media from Juve wanting to sign Tonali for two bob and a packet of peanuts are starting up again. Absolutely laughable. They couldn’t afford him.

Doesn’t get much Christmassier than this.

Oh that was a howler

Unlike Jake Paul, Andrew Tate managed to avoid having his jaw broken during his embarassing, humiliating and emasculating defeat. Mainly on account of him not having any noticeable chin to speak of, the Mac & Me looking cunt.

I’m still absolutely fuming at that penalty call.

A fucking laughable refereeing performance in that second half. The free kick they scored from was soft as anything, that penalty call was a fucking travesty for the ages and Madley consistently gave them decisions for nothing whilst giving us literally nothing. Truly dogshit.

Elanga has been fucking useless again since coming on.

Madley has been fucking useless this second half. After a first half where he called Chelsea on all their bullshit, he’s spent the second half buying everything from them. That VAR explanation for the ‘penalty’ was fucking laughable too. Charges into him and cleans him out.

That is scandalous.

Need to keep that pace up as long as possible in the second half and not let them back into it. Keep them rattled and we win this game. Let them settle and it gets nervy again for us.

If Chelsea finish this game with 11 men on the pitch I will be amazed

Fucking VAR man. If you can’t look at a still image and instantly see someone is offside, they’re not offside. 3 minutes to confirm what you could see from the off. Fucking ludicrous.

The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is gonna go... #1 on my 10th Birthday was …..

Just watched that boxing ‘match’ What an absolute farce. Commentators trying to claim Paul was competitive… Joshua strung that fight out and in a real bout the ref would’ve stopped it way earlier. He was out on his feet from the end of the third round. These fights are gonna end someone dying.

Awesome. So when AI goes tits up it can take Adobe with it. Can Norton and mcafee do similar please?

The one thing we need to stop doing is breaking forward and getting into good positions then spending the next two minutes passing it sideways across the front of the penalty area. Just get it in the fucking box or have a fucking shot. We do this far too often and it’s infuriating.

See I thought Willock and Ramsey had decent games tonight. They weren’t amazing but they linked play well between midfield and attack and chased everything in the press. Newcastle World have given both of them 5/10. I’d find this bizarre but then remembered NW is staffed by absolute tits.

Fucks sake, not Tino’s knee again

City very lucky to not get a red there. Very lucky.

Caution and reticence are our identity. #nufc

Howe has got too cautious this season. Losing one player shouldn’t cause us to completely lose our shape and attitude, but here we are. We should’ve been flying out the blocks today, instead we stumbled out half pissed. Not for the first time this season, either.

If Woltemade is an inch shorter that game ends as the terrible 0-0 it deserves to be.

Well that was a shocking game of football

What the fuck is he doing there?! Fucks sake

Can always tell when Hideo Kojima is awake, my timeline becomes a Japanese Pinterest slideshow.

Arsenal have been absolutely honking here tonight

Arsenal singing their Hovis advert theme song again

Much better second half, should’ve really won that considering the number of chances we had but can’t really grumble at a point after that first half’s bang average showing

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

Ah no, is Tony Bloom a bit of a cunt as well? Pity the pious journalists will soon have no football club owners left to wax lyrical about how they “do it the right way” Rich cunt with links to Nigel Farage and his mates via gambling syndicates. Yeah Tony Bloom is an example for us all to follow…

Hahahahahahaha

Luke O’Nien sent off, is it? Shat the Derby already. Must’ve been having flashbacks to the cup game where he ran about like a heedless chicken.

To be fair, that was fairly professional up until the last couple of minutes. We seemed to be managing it well, but it just got a little too relaxed in injury tine

That was daft from Ramsey, no two ways about it. Probably an instinctive move of his arm, but stupid all the same. Need to learn how to kill off games, that second half was like a training kickabout for 48 minutes until that penalty and could’ve very easily been another 2pts dropped at the end

Looked alright today, but then they should do against this Burnley team. Hopefully get to see Wissa get some minutes in the second half, as well as a few more goals to boost the GD

Nasty one for Dan that. Lad had every right to go for the ball, but that will have stung