If we’d won 1-0 we’d be delighted. We are so much better than them. Let Sky blow smoke in their arses and we’ll deal with it in a fortnight

Plucky Chelsea, the lowly underdogs narrowly lose in what would’ve been a giantkilling the likes of which we haven’t seen before.

That’s criminal of Jesus being offside there. Brainless

Me taking control at B and Q.

20 years ago today, Arsenal beat Middlesbrough 7-0. It was an amazing performance. I remember it was 20 years ago today because I also got married on the same day.

How the fuck did we let that troll bastard score?

This is Vik’s best game for us.

‘He couldn’t miss from there’ says the commentator, about a player whose job is literally to be right where the ball ended up.

The literal translation of the word Cucurella is “ fuzzy cunt”. I think.

The space out wide is fucking huge for Chelsea

Timber might need to not invert as much with Chelsea’s threat coming down their right

Joao Pedro tried to body Saliba and bounces off. Cunt

I always like to call referees by their full name, so tonight’s referee is Simon Fucking Hooper.

Tapas? Mind your own business

Imagine taking time out of your day to racially abuse this beautiful young man. Some people are idiots.

Woltamade needed to hit that first time. He could play for Arsenal.

Heard in the Man City canteen: is that Cherki? No, it’s chicken…

GAMES GONE KLAXON.

If Joelinton lays out Bernardo Silva I’ll be delighted

Pope wouldn’t have got to that if they gave him a stepladder. Just absolutely stupid

Subjective offside. Utter bollocks. That’s a goal.

That’s not offside

Imagine going on strike to force a move and then stinking up your new club

Lewis Hall looks a decent player

To think I stopped my rewatch of S2 of Tehran on Apple TV for this shite

£1 says there’s a red card in this game.

Be great if O’Reilly and Joelinton had a proper dust up

Once again a player feigns an injury to force a tactical time out. Fucking farcical when any player does it. And it’s always on 25 mins for Newcastle. Every fucking time.

Hitler and James Corden must’ve been unavailable

Wissa with a hell of a missa

Well said

Do you know what’s killing the game, Jamie? Cunts like you harping on about elite footballers when you were an average one and your teammates were lining up to railroad your wife. Cunt.

I think Arteta will offload Gyorkeres this summer if he can find a suitable replacement

Petulant little prick

Fletcher bringing on Maguire and Casemiro to give everyone a fair crack at the post-match sandwiches

Given the choice between Szesko and Gyorkeres, we should’ve gone for Watkins.

Well, the dog’s enthralled by United’s performance…

‘The Stretford End loved that’ says Fletch after Szesko heads a really good chance wide, proving that their standards are dirt low.

This is important with all the stuff flying around

Simon Hooper rn

@arseblog.com speaks for all of us…

Eze not tracking again

I’ve done all the Salmon jokes previously, so stand down everyone

Congratulations to Gabriel Martinelli for scoring his first Arsenal hat-trick and Arsenal's 246th hat-trick in a competitive first team game. (HT @hente.bsky.social) thearsenalcollection.org.uk?p=37226

Nice end of the week for Martinelli after killing a man on Thursday evening.

Been lovely if big Gabi just lamped one of those cunts in the crowd.

Grand Designs: Crucifixion Special

That was brilliant thinking from MLS.

*MADUWACKY KLAXON*

Merino and Martinelli with the only decent performances for us in that half. Rest were so sub-optimal