Stream will be Monday, 2PM EST because I have 5000 hours worth of work to do for brand today. Yes, I am reusing a clip because it is cute (and because I am lazy). I 🫶 you all.

Horror game dev: “content creators send me a dm for a key for launch” Me: sends DM *crickets* Yeah, I get it… I’m not a big enough creator to be worthy of a key to your game. I’m not entitled to said key, a reply, or your time. I get that. It really stings silently being told “not good enough”

Spoopy stream on Tuesday, the 21st at 2PM. Yes, Yes?

Thank you to everybody that stopped by. I really appreciate it. Next stream will probably be Sunday.

Moving stream to 3PM EST, but I'm still streaming! I have some business I need to take care of at 1:30 (that I forgot about. Curse you ADHD) and I don't want to make the stream late.

Stream will be Friday 2PM EST (because I’m still in pain and there are going to be people stomping on the roof today. 😂

Bluesky keeps deleting Abo Jameel's fundraiser so you should definitely donate or share today

Want to support me? Consider subscribing to my Patreon https://www.patreon.com/ShouraiCreative or my Ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/shouraicreative if you prefer that. You can see the tiers and benefits in the Membership tabs on both pages, the benefits are the same on both. #ItsShouTime #俺は将来だ

This is a warning to every artists and clients using PayPal: Leave the note blank or send invoices. Apparently even saying "commission" makes them trigger happy. #SaveSpeech #StopPaypros And continue the pressure by calling PayPal. Helpful link here: anti-censorship-campaign.carrd.co#phonescript

I am moving stream to Thursday. I’ve been up all night in pain and still having trouble getting some sleep. 😔

There will be a stream Weds, probably at 2PM EST! Pain has just been really bad since yesterday so I feel like I’m 90 or something and can’t get outta bed. 😅

Ty for stopping by the stream. I always get so self-conscious about my voice and my personality so I appreciate everybody that takes the time to say hi. Thank you.

Stream will be Sunday at 2PM EST since the internet is now fixed. I am actively trying to get videos out… I’m just so tired. Thank you for being patient with me and my 1001 problems.

I’m so tired of everything going so wrong.

Squirrels chewed through the damn fiber cord. I have no internet. They are sending a tech out tomorrow. I’m hoping they don’t charge an arm and leg to fix it. Was recording when it happened… so upset. I’m so over this BS. I’m sorry; I can’t upload or stream until this is fixed.

Did you know that I have a Throne wishlist? https://throne.com/shourailive I have a lot of gaming and streaming stuff on it and some general-purpose things. I would love you forever if you helped me out with some stuff from it! #ItsShouTime #俺は将来だ

Have an indie game and are looking to get a professional trailer done? Due to a current layoff I am looking to pick up some work and have a deal for indie studios right now! #indie #indiedev #gametrailers Check out my work and info here: www.crabscove.com/indie

Apologies for rant: This is AI "actress" Tilly Norwood. How can you call AI generated slop an actress? How can this thing audition for roles meant for real people? This is not art. It's gross, creepy, and I hate it. Tired of YT pushing AI video slop into my feed as well. :(

We'll see if I can play Silent Hill all three days. I'm worried about the text size, map, etc.

Thank you to everyone that stopped by the stream. It means a lot especially with how difficult life has been lately. I’m sorry I got so frustrated at the end… I swear that chase sequence is beyond cheap… I’ll try to figure it out for next time. 😔

Thank you to everyone who has helped me out so far. It's so appreciated. Life has been really rough for me recently with my family problems and am not gonna be able to pay my rent at this rate. I'll do something to say thanks. #mutualaid

I haven’t been sleeping well and I still haven’t gotten over what happened to Celes. I can’t go to therapy, which means no meds. It’s really starting to weigh heavily on me. I’ve had no drive or motivation to do anything. It’s not something I can control.

Stream will be on Sat. 2PM EST. I’m sorry; I don’t have the stomach to stream tonight. There’s more garbage going on in my life that’s left me in constant panic mode and a not good mental state. I feel pathetic for it, but there’s nothing I can do. Don’t want to talk about it

reminder for people who run a patreon: their autopilot spammer is due to kick on automatically on sept 30. Disable it here, unless you actually want to spam your patrons with automated sales tactics.

It’s hard to keep going when so many terrible things have happened since I started doing this.

All I could think about last night was "if I wasn't here, nothing of value would be lost." My brain wouldn't shut up about it and I couldn't sleep. Took all my willpower not to make a stupid post. That said, I'm not ready to stream. I'm going to try for Friday. I'm sorry.

The orange menace is less than pleased when I interrupt his beauty sleep to take an unflattering picture. This is what he gets for waking me up at 3AM by knocking all my games onto the floor.

Vtuber cat yeah I don't know what to post. I'm sad.

Here is the link to what I call The Shou Listing https://www.shouraicreative.com/shoulinks This has links to my website, Twitch, Discord, YouTube and Throne, among other places.‬ #ItsShouTime #俺は将来だ

The sadness kind of just permeates everything. I am doing my best to break away from it; it's just really hard. I am sorry.

The orange menace destroyed his expensive hamster wheel. I don't know if they even sell replacement parts. He also set off the motion detector and the security alarm starting blaring at 3AM the other night. He can't figure out if he loves or hates me. Sorry, I'm sad. I miss Celes

The emergency vet bills for Celes are up on ko-fi. I didn't include the cremation services and everything... I'm taking this really hard and I'll have to find a way to pay down the bills. Thank you for all the continued support. It means everything. Streams will resume next week.

I feel like I’m drowning. I want to be okay and I’m not. I feel alone and don’t know how to handle it.

had to say goodbye. I tried everything I could. It was most likely cancer and she declined too fast. She was struggling to breathe. I am completely devastated and don't want to talk to anybody right now. I'm sorry. I'll post bills later if anybody wants to help 1/2

They had to drain fluid this time. When I got home, I realized her vision was suddenly almost gone. She can’t see. I haven’t slept. I’m having a panic attack. She’s in the other bedroom with water, bed, and litter box to keep her from moving. I am so scared.

Back in the ER.

He couldn't find anything definitive with the ultrasound or get much fluid out with the tap. She's still breathing hard. I can't afford to hospitalize her. She's going to be treated for FIP as soon as I get the meds, but there's no guarantee that's what it is. 1/3

I’m at the emergency vet. I’m probably going to be here all day. There’s no guarantee I can get an ultrasound so praying they can get us in. Didn’t sleep. Going through this for the fifth time is too much.😭 I’m honestly scared.

The first specialist appointment available is end of December. She cannot wait that long. In order to get an ultrasound, I will be taking her to the emergency vet in the morning. I'll probably be waiting all day. There is no guarantee, but it's my best shot of getting her in.

Would you be willing to put up with me doing a stream elements sponsored stream and trying to stream more to raise money? I really want to take Celes to the specialist to get a definitive answer. I will not pursue a hopeless cause, but I want go see if she can be helped.

It looks like there was no additional fluid buildup in her lungs, which is good. She was given an injection of Cerenia because I was struggling to pill her. Not even Pumpkin fought me that much. The vet thought she sounded a little better. Giving her some more time for 1/2

At the vet to get X-ray rechecked for fluid in her lungs. Hoping it hasn’t increased.

Maybe, I do deserve the awful things that happened to me. I don’t really know anymore. The cats and my family don’t though.

The urge to give up on everything is so overwhelming. I’m so tired of fighting.

Celes is about the same although she ate a little yesterday night. Trying to get her to eat tonight. She obviously doesn't feel well, but I can't tell if she's worse or not. This not knowing is killing me. I am going to try my best to stream tomorrow because I am losing my mind.

Got permission to post this; one of the trans women who was assaulted last week by a gang of anti-trans creeps has a gofundme up to help her with medical and survival costs while she recovers from a concussion. If you're able to help, please do. www.gofundme.com/f/help-a-tra...