To the twink with the fat ass walking around at the gym: STOP!!!!! 🛑

Shocked and alarmed to discover I shall not be in the inaugural class of my college’s Performing Arts Hall of Fame???????? Should there not be a place reserved up front for those following the time-honored tradition of getting a degree in the Performing Arts and then pivoting to Real Estate????

Random guy asked me to spot him on bench press at the gym today.

They stole the jewels from the Louvre btw.

Fuck it getting stoned and watching The Help idk.

Threw my back out like two weeks ago and I thought I was on the mend so I went out with the girls last night but now it hurts so bad today I can barely move?

New gym crush acquired 🤤🤤

Country boys make do, btw. 😤

Renee Rapp is a rockstar. Lesbians are so powerful.

At the Renee Rapp concert. I’ve never seen so many lesbians in my life. Love this for them.

2nd Anniversary married to the loml. Love you, Pookie. @hey-cj.bsky.social

Almost missed the first day of Jocktober. My sincerest apologies. Please accept this late submission.

This weather is bullshit I wanna wear a SWEATER!!!!!!!

hey from hotel 😌

If I get raptured tomorrow I’m gonna be so embarrassedddd like wait have I been a loser this whole time????

Returning from my bluskie hiatus to say Martha Stewart can eat my ass!!

Hello and also goodbye to my beautiful lil bloomfies. Daddy needs to reset and stop doomscrolling for a bit. Kisses. 😘

RAIL DADDY??????

Marian is such a wet blanket like ughhh

Straight people are so obsessed with walking slowly and stopping in the middle of a walkway like MOVE.

Cross-faded at the MLB game.

Just watched some clips of Glee performances and why am I sobbing after seeing Don’t Stop in the pilot? Just in case anyone was wondering where I’m at emotionally.

You've inherited a movie theater, what's your first double feature? Duh.

Someone leak the Epstein client list to her STAT

Clocking in.

Hungover and h word!! 😤

31 🥳

Home sick on the 4th of July while my friends are at a pool eating hot dogs. Not that there’s much to celebrate today, but if democracy is going to crumble at the very least I should get to enjoy a hot dog before it does! 😭

Close friends seemed to like this one, so giving it to the rest of my bloomfies as a little treat. Happy Monday bbs. 😘

Afternoon run was WET, btw! 😤

I love movies!

Okay fine, I’ll bite! (feat. bed head)

“It's not clocking to you that I'm standing on business, is it?”

Husband just sent me a selfie after his fresh haircut and let me tell you when that man gets home I-

Using food to show where I grew up (yeah there’s mashed potatoes twice and what of it!)

In my Naomi Smalls bag

Happy Father’s Day to all the hot dads at this park right now. ☺️

Some of yall forgot that Zendaya is Meechee and it shows. 😤

good morning say it back 😤

Happy pride month to her only

Sometimes the afternoon run is slay (yesterday), and sometimes your achilles act up and the afternoon run is NOT slay and you cut it short after a mile and a half (today). Greetings from my basement floor where I am afraid to try to stand after stretching.

Wait am I depressed? 🤔

One thing about me I will STAY in the bed if there’s nothing on my schedule in the morning. 😅

happy hump day or whatevaa

Kesha paved the way for most of y’all’s favs but you’re not ready for THAT conversation!!

YouTube Premium is that girl.

Currently having some severe weather in the Twin Cities and the tornado sirens just went off so my husband headed down to the basement and naturally my Kansas-born ass went straight to the front porch to look at the sky.

**psssst** she just released tickets for a second Minneapolis date on Oct. 12th. Go get those tickets bbs!