If y’all need your presents wrapped Nolan’s Gift Shop is open TODAY for 24 hours only!!

She was everything to me. 😭😍

Uh oh thinking about getting a perm teehee

Thinking about Blue Ivy Carter.

Would CRUSH a Bloody Mary right now

No sunday scaries here. 🥰

Would die for her btw

FINALLY saw Wake Up Dead Man. God damn it Rian Johnson you bastard you’ve done it again!!!!!! My KING!!!!

Might have to go live on insta or something to do a storytime about the restaurant experience we’re having right now lmao I’m losing my mind.

House fires are no laughing matter!! Make sure your tree has plenty of water at all times!

If im Carol in Pluribus I think I’m dialing 0 and I’m just like hey can Andrew Garfield come over and fuck me? Idk why she’s having such a hard time with this.

*whispers into the void* ᴵ ᵏᶦⁿᵈᵃ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᴾᵃⁿᵗᵒⁿᵉ ᶜᵒˡᵒʳ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ʸᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵉᵉʰᵉᵉ

These halls are decked, btw! 😤

Husband hosted his little gay book club tonight so we have a whole spread of delicious pretzels and chips and treats at the house but I got a fucking TOOTH extracted this morning so I’m STARVING because I can only eat liquids and it feels like I’m being PUNISHED. 😭

My gym only has 2 (TWO!) incline benches in the free weights area and this bitch is using one of them just to hold her phone and water while she works out next to it. 😵‍💫

If I don’t see Wake Up Dead Man in the next 24 hours I’m going to end it all.

When you’re being mean to me, this is who you’re being mean to btw. 😤

I can’t participate in this over 30 selfie trend cuz I’m only (freshly!) 21! 😔

Jesus right before he ate that charcuterie with the homies I think idk I didn’t read it:

Entire timeline is united around gay butts on tv and I think that’s beautiful.

Watching my husband play with my niece and nephew all weekend it’s like oh my god put a baby in me alreadyyy 😍🥵

May or may not be getting a root canal Thursday what a fun little game to play teehee.

Husband went to the gym this morning and then stopped and got me a bagel sandwich before he came home.

Thank you Palm Springs, you’re too good to me. ☀️🏝️💙

Flying home from Palm Springs to frigid Minneapolis today I’m gonna end it all

Sabalenka your days are numbered.

Leaving for Palm Springs today 😌

drag race girls before all stars:

Need a new gym hat. Send recs. Keep in mind I have a very small head and most hats do NOT fit me. Please help.

OK PACK IT UP AND BRING IT OUT THE CHRISTMAS TREE

Arms looked big here idk Anyway good morning* bbs *This pic is from 8 PM a couple days ago. I do not work out in the morning and I never will. 😘

To the twink with the fat ass walking around at the gym: STOP!!!!! 🛑

Shocked and alarmed to discover I shall not be in the inaugural class of my college’s Performing Arts Hall of Fame???????? Should there not be a place reserved up front for those following the time-honored tradition of getting a degree in the Performing Arts and then pivoting to Real Estate????

Random guy asked me to spot him on bench press at the gym today.

They stole the jewels from the Louvre btw.

Fuck it getting stoned and watching The Help idk.

Threw my back out like two weeks ago and I thought I was on the mend so I went out with the girls last night but now it hurts so bad today I can barely move?

New gym crush acquired 🤤🤤

Country boys make do, btw. 😤

Renee Rapp is a rockstar. Lesbians are so powerful.

At the Renee Rapp concert. I’ve never seen so many lesbians in my life. Love this for them.

2nd Anniversary married to the loml. Love you, Pookie. @hey-cj.bsky.social

Almost missed the first day of Jocktober. My sincerest apologies. Please accept this late submission.

This weather is bullshit I wanna wear a SWEATER!!!!!!!

hey from hotel 😌

If I get raptured tomorrow I’m gonna be so embarrassedddd like wait have I been a loser this whole time????

Returning from my bluskie hiatus to say Martha Stewart can eat my ass!!

Hello and also goodbye to my beautiful lil bloomfies. Daddy needs to reset and stop doomscrolling for a bit. Kisses. 😘

RAIL DADDY??????