taking a moment to appreciate a good ham 🙏

very sleepy, send reese’s eggs please

feeling kinda bonita idk

i’m so dickstracted today for some reason

we love leg day

living la vida loca? why yes I am, thanks for asking

skipped the gym this morning so I’m here now, and am 1000% convinced morning workouts are superior

husband and I closed on our house two years ago today, time really does fly!!

🚨 the ice went out on the lake today, this is not a drill 🚨

today calls for slutty little glasses (I ran out of contact lenses)

these bitches don’t even know it’s nacho night

well yes actually

feeling v proud of myself for hitting all my workout goals this week :)

the audacity* of some of these men at the gym?? *(to be hot and distracting)

it’s supposed to hit 69° today 🫦

happy hump day, ya freaks

normalize giving uppies to short tops!!

sat on a patio with friends for 6 hours and drank a couple gin + tonics and yeah… serotonin is real!!

hey can someone hold this for a sec?

sidepiece horny house tour last night really lived up to its name I had so much fun omg

75° and sunny today!!

oh, would you look at the time! (make-out-with-your-friends ‘o’ clock)

gay powers restored btw!

let it be known that first and foremost, I’m an american cheese apologist

it’s st. patrick’s day and I DO have irish heritage, so you’re legally obligated to give me a little kiss 🍀

I was a real smoocher last night

debuting my gay little gold hoop earrings tonight, kinda nervous

well I flew too close to the sun (accidentally over-trimmed my bush)

happy gay guy saturday btw

will tonight’s blizzard stop us from going out dancing? place your bets!!

haven’t felt very slutty lately but change is in the air, don’t worry

Sister same 🪩

anyone have montreal recs? particularly looking for restaurants, gay bars, and any cool/fun shops

day 2 of replacing my afternoon coffee with green tea and I’m not pleased to report it’s having the desired effect 💔

over the river and through the woods!! (I’m visiting my grandmother)

ever since I was a little boy, I dreamt of entering a one-time 6-digit passcode hundreds of time per day

girls only want ONE thing and it’s to sit on a lakeside park bench and watch the full moon rise over the water (it’s me, I’m girls)

“how big are you?” oh i’m not!! i’m just a little guy

stroking it is a form of self care, btw

🚨 once again sleepy and h*rny

If you're reading this you're a boy kisser

no mirror in the bathroom is kinda homophobic

but also have you considered: ✨boys with big beefy legs and glutes✨

✨ bulgarian split squats ✨

things have kind of sucked lately but I got a raise today and found out I’ll be getting a nice bonus next week 🥹

haven’t gone on my walking loop around the lake in several days and I need it mentally but I tweaked my back yesterday and am not sure if I can/should go physically I—

no like I’m obsessed

waiting for my new lounge chair to get delivered like…

watching gossip girl for the first time ever, ask me anything

why did they have to call it pickleball though?