GET OUT OF THE WATER, MATT

Yeeeeeep.

Why has every pizza on every pizza menu got one incorrect topping on it? Someone should hire me as the global pizza auditor. I can fix this.

"Welcome aboard CSAM Air. I'm your AI pilot, Mecha-Hitler..."

Shoutout everyone who bought a shiny blank year planner in January , knowing that that's gonna make the difference in 2026 ✌️

This is a WILD thread—that is still ongoing bsky.app/profile/musi...

I propose a motion to give Zelenskyy the Nobel Peace Prize in 2026. It would be the funniest crashout of all time.

Nice one @teamrazer.bsky.social - not only promoting stealing others' content, but you've teamed up with the world's biggest CSAM generator. Adding Razer to my 'never buy from again' list.

It’s ironic that they’re like “if we do ethnic cleansing we’ll have a high trust neighborly society” and then Minneapolis is literally doing high trust neighborly society and they’re like nooooo

This is a good lesson, no matter how you come to learn it

Average Sunday show interview: OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats HOST: how will you pay for it? OFFICIAL: tariffs HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed HOST: thank u for ur time

Oh, I see the bit buried at the bottom. Canada, you're next. He wants you too.

I thought this was parody, but his boat was literally called Izanami 😬

pretty sure he meant the other thing, grok, but very cool that those are your two things

Imagine being dunked on by FALLON!? 🫣

Oh, sorry! Those are mine. I was wondering where I'd left them.

as @annenotation.bsky.social likes to say, a lot of people just want to Know Their Place in the hierarchy, even if it's near the bottom. it's psychologically comforting to them.

Even the historical nazis are like "nah, that's a bit too Nazi for me..."

Also happy to buy an Apostolic Letter or a Knighthood? I could be Sir Bishop Rob as well.

Is anyone willing to sell me their PhD ceritficate? I would like to be a Dr please, coz that's how it works now.

The last time mothers en masse didn't "trust experts", the child mortality rate was above 40%. Well done, 'Murica.

lol lmao even

Shoutout all the creators on instagram who shoot themselves as if they're on a podcast set, answering questions, but there is no podcast, and no interviewer 👌👏

Imagine having to explain why you like wearing a hat.

This kind of worthless lip-service to activism is really starting to piss me off. And you see it everywhere. Stupid, vacuous "calls" on people who are absolutely not going to do the thing they're being called on, just so that some boring lot can pretend they're doing something.

There's more coming. Chelsea are rubbish. #Arsenal look so comfortable.

Yes, immigration agents not only took Arnoldo's phone, the 10th grader had to use Find My Phone to locate it — in a vending machine for used electronics, close to an ICE detention center. Read the full story here: www.propublica.org/article/vide...

Oh do fuck off.

Basedcamp.

"Executive Order 14253, “Restoring Truth and Sanity to American History"..." Ludicrous Goebbels-ass country.

If there’s a better obituary for an evil cartoonist than an A.I. generated version of his character that fucks up the defining detail of its design, I can’t think of it. No notes. 👨🏻‍🍳 💋

CONSENT. You peanut.

I am once again reminding you all that the UK government introduced an Online Safety Act that is effectively a porn ban on most adult porn websites, but is dithering over banning a website that is actually creating child porn.

Perfidy Pete is gonna get what's coming to him.

Sorry, what? The federal “investigation” into ICE’s killing of an American is investigating the *victim*?

New Tesla feature to automatically create explicit images of pedestrians it passes on the street newsthump.com/2026/01/13/n...

The Environmental Protection Agency only being measured by how much limiting pollution harms businesses instead of saves lives makes the claims that MAGA is literally a death cult hard to dispute.

Elon Musk should also be arrested. Let's not forget that. Any "media company" CEO that creates and distributes CSAM should be charged.

MacKenzie Scott continues to rule the billionaire ex-wives club. She just announced a donation of $45M to The Trevor Project -- a non-profit that serves LGBTQ+ youth:

Learn? Graphic design? Don't do that. Graphic design is your passion. Don't let losers come with "learn" 😉

In order to get to the truth of apartheid, and hold people accountable after the fact, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in SA lasted YEARS. Americans have no idea how much work is ahead of them to hold accountable the sheer glut of nazis and criminals masquerading as "officials". Good luck.

I think forcing a website to shut down until the "Create revenge porn" switch is put in the "off" position is an acceptable form of government censorship

It do be like that.

200k more? Good thing it's not busy up there already.

Cancel 👏 your 👏 tickets 👏

That's the end of Man United's season then 😂

Imagine thinking if you convinced Messi to share a Ballon d'or with you that meant you were also good at football. The President of the USA is a loser lmao.