Sex is. Really fucking weird. In a good way. I think its neat [even if i am still A-spec], but its weird. The psychology, the sensations, the need for connection and communication... Idk. Just reflecting.

Gods I wanna hornypost so badly but I am *not* doing that where people can see I have a *reputation* to uphold damnit

Learning the difference between discomfort and harm is how you can exist in any social space. If the mere *idea* of something makes you spiral or lash out, you need to take a step back. This isn't even just "A vs B"; being so unable to sit with your own discomfort causes in-fighting (+)

The Authors Very Nuanced, Complicated Fetish Worthy Of Introspection and Respect

Maybe I do have borderline. These can't be normal human emotions

Guess whose bitch ass is medicated again? [/vpos]

had a good long talk with a friend, and i think i finally know how to bite this bullet.

Everytime I hear a One Nation voter saying “we need change”, I think of this cartoon.

i love you horny horror i love you exploring sexuality and desire through unsettling means i love you sexual repression manifesting as self destruction i love you intimacy transforming into something grostesque yet beautiful i love you finding comfort and love in the monstrous i love y

horseboy bondage / part 3

The urge to go back to the Place but the knowledge that it will likely only be after an invitation back and not on self-set terms

Kind of a bad day on the concussion recovery front. I had a lot of energy before work but now I'm just dizzy and sleepy. And I keep getting ice pick headaches.

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Literally could NOT have picked a worse place to punch myself, I annihilated my entire online presence with a single bruise to my brain

YKNOW WHAT I GOT MEGAFUCKED IN THE RIGHT TEMPORAL LOBE AND THAT PART IS APPARENTLY RELATED TO HYPERSEXUALITY, WHILE THE LEFT IS FOR HYPOSEXUALITY NO WONDER I FEEL LIKE SHIT ABOUT SEX

I like noncon. I LIKE NONCON. Why can't my brain get back with the program--

The hyperawareness that your consciousness is trapped in a body with sexual functions and that some people will do horrible things to interface with those sexual functions Can't I just be some sexless machine already please

It feels weird to be cripplingly depressed and self-hateful here, then put on the upbeat, confident persona for my main I have a brand image to maintain, but gods if it doesn't feel like wearing clothes that are too tight sometimes

Save me extended release bupropion. Extended release bupropion save me.

Side note, im trying to work on my dermatillomania by locking a radical cosplay behind it If I can not pick at my skin for two months, I can do the radical

... seriously considering that after dark for my after dark. I wanna vent and make horny posts but now I kinda just feel... I dont wanna say watched, but more like I'm up on a stage. I dont wanna censor myself, but I'm finding myself compelled to do so.

finally went chasing after a refill for my meds fingers crossed the pharmacy isnt screwing me over

Had a nightmare that someone doxxed me over my concussed mental breakdown bc they dont think an unstable person should be a moderator =w= Im. Gonna try and get more sleep. #unmedlam

it would be nice if someone petted my head for a bit

spent the night eating and sleeping and watching shows with friends. now i'm gonna try a little bit of work. i genuinely feel a lot more like myself

First returning geese of the year just flew overhead :)

Is it really too much to ask people to ignore me and let me suffer without forcing them to ignore me Don't care about me, please for the love of god #unmedlam

Its been what. Four days of this mess now. Gods someone kill me already #unmedlam

Still feel like i wanna puke =w= #unmedlam

Holy mother of depressive symptoms i feel like shit #unmedlam

[GUIDE] How to cuddle a Cyborg Radical [2026] 1: Be extremely mentally ill 2: Be under life threatening amounts of stress 3: ??? [PF-DID fuckery] 4: There is now a Radical in your head who is a living weighted heated blanket

Oh hi bull. Guess i shouldve known you'd be the one to save me huh

Red sells/gives him to another bot bc he's bored of him and this other bot "helps" (tells) him to decommission himself (harvest his own organs)

Someone needs to put a gun to my head and force me to admit im tired of living or force me to realize I want to live

I dont like how final everything feels in my brain right now. Like I cant see anything ahead of me rn. Im. Probably gonna be okay. I dont have a plan or anything. And im too tired and headachy to think of how to kill myself. But. If something happens to me, please make sure rose is okay.

I wish I could just go belly up and die, but no. Stupid primal survival monkey brain and my desire to care for others won't let me. I have a family to provide for, and I will be damned it I fail that goal. So please. If I cant die in body, just let me break and die in spirit. I dont want to exist.

"but its human nature to help others!" "meeting in the middle is how adults do relationships!" And why don't YOU go suck a fucking dick?! You know that is NOT how this works. How it works is *I* shoulder the pain and do my best to comfort YOU. and if I fail, then it is MY FAULT.

Ive been shaking again for the past hour and a half, and now I cant think of a witty way to say i wish I could kill myself Oh well. We cant all be winners. #unmedlam

I am not a person. I do not exist. I do not think or feel. I do not count. #undmedlam

Had a dream abt returning to the place and everything was fine. Was even able to handle the thing, no sweat. I wish that was the way things were, but... not yet. #unmedlam

It really does suck that ravioli has become so tainted for me. Like they had such a good natured personality and such a fun demeanor, and now all I see is RAPIST CREEP PERVERT SEX STALKER #unmedlam

Some nuance I forgot in my moral frenzy is just how complex the rapist characters I have are. They dont do it for fun-- they wouldn't be engaging and real if they did. Red is seeking eye-for-an-eye revenge. Forzer is terrified of losing their partner. It's more than just sex and violence. #unmedlam

Its really stupid being scared of someone because of their character #unmedlam

Its funny talking abt my concussion bc today my helldiver coworker was in, and she asked me what happened and I said "Radical got me :("

I miss my noncon brainrot, this whole thing is REALLY putting a twist in my plans to release something CoC related for creek memorial day How am I supposed to piss on creepers graves now, huh? /lh #unmedlam

hey... uhh.. I think that cyborg-doggy thing likes you... *scout, visibly throbbing* 👉 go.were.dog/canids

Full disclosure the more time goes on the more im pretty sure everything wrong rn is being caused by this stupid self inflicted concussion