I listened to Trump’s astonishing rant about Starmer, Sadiq Khan and the UK. Also Spain. He is absolutely barking mad, fickle and extraordinarily unstable. Anyone in UK politics supporting Trump is a treasonous, unpatriotic traitor.

oh! this is utterly gloriously "peak #reformatory " ! i don't like poor people being able to walk near me. why was he tired? you should never be tired at 0800. where were the police when i was feeling intimidated! he also wants the army sent in to "make London safe". www.joe.co.uk/politics/nad...

Constable Savage. So you’ve arrested someone for ‘walking in an upmarket area while dressed a bit scruffy and looking tired’. Let me get this right Savage: a Mr Nadhim Zahawi told you that ‘he was a bit scared and decided he needed to cross the road to avoid getting too close’?

We’re safer in here Godber. It says there’s a tired looking person scaring the life out of someone in Belgravia by walking towards him.

It must be difficult to be a loyal Reform supporter and keep up with the ever expanding list of groups to hate. It was easy when it was just immigrants, climate change scientists, transgender people, and ‘the woke’. Now after Nadhim Zahawi, they have to hate tired people too.

London has fallen, Sir. Nadhim Zahawi had to cross the road to avoid someone who looked a bit tired.

“I was saying to Roy how pleased I am that Suella Braverman has decided to join the Reform Party and share her expertise for our benefit. What did I say Roy?” “You said she’s a devious, incompetent and treacherous loser who failed the country and has no redeeming features.”

"Have you ever fancied yourself as a member of parliament? Or perhaps you’ve dreamed of a role in your local council, approving tax increases, revoking net-zero policies or betraying election promises. Then you’ve come to the right place!" @bremaininspain.com @markcockerton.bsky.social

You boy! If you see any failed Tories in the dole queue send them over here. Tell them I’m getting the old gang back together.

Mr Farage, one more thing. Something’s bothering me. You said the Tories had failed Britain and we needed to see the back of them. Now you’ve recruited some of the biggest failures. You’ve even recycled Nadine Dorries and Nadhim Zahawi! Do you think voters are idiots Mr Farage?

That was ‘What’s the story, failed Tory?” by the Defectors, from their ‘Better than the dole’ album.

Anyone on here from Clacton? Can you confirm if this is a genuine sign, or is someone having a laugh?

‘Farage knew nothing’ ‘We need to move on’ ‘Gill was one bad apple’ ‘This is ancient history’ ‘It’s just media-hype’ ‘China is the threat not Russia’ ‘BBC is fake news’ ‘Nigel will be next PM’ ‘You’re a leftard’ ‘Look at other parties’ ‘Gill was fitted up’ ‘Nigel never met him’

Nigel Farage. What first attracted you to admiring Vladimir Putin?

One more thing, sir. There’s something bothering me. You claim to be a patriot but you cheer on Donald Trump when he harms the UK. You do the same with Elon Musk when he spreads lies about Britain. Then there’s your admiration for Putin. Are you a plastic patriot, Mr Farage? Sir?

You boy! Run to the bank and change these roubles into pounds.

“I listened to pro-Russian speeches by Nathan Gill in the European Parliament for 6 years but never suspected a thing. Even when he’d pay for a round of drinks in roubles.”

What’s that Skippy? Nathan Gill is trapped in a prison cell? He needs to know I’ll buy him a nice 4 bed house for £885,000 for when he gets out?Then I need to forget that I ever bought it for him?

There's a house near me that has a large yunyun flag on the front. It entirely covers the only window on the ground floor. It must be their lounge so all they will see from inside is the red, white and blue curtain of imbecility.

Tis the season

“Nothing to worry about, Sir. They’re taking their country back. Shagging flags, shouting at hotels, painting roundabouts, looting sausage rolls, fake Crocs and bath bombs. Then getting drunk, urinating on memorials, and calling in for a curry on their way home.”

So, what has been achieved by fastening cheap flags from Temu to lampposts? Has it stopped the boats? Of course not! Has it united the country? Hardly! All it does is make places look tacky & unwelcoming, made houses harder to sell, inflamed tensions and deterred passing trade.

The annual nonsense from Reform-types has started. No-one is ‘banning Christmas’ in the U.K. Why would any business do that? A significant proportion of Hindu, Jewish & Muslim families put up Xmas trees & decorations, exchange presents, have a big family meal and enjoy the day.

Just been round every shop in Hull and there’s not one single Easter egg for sale! Only Cadbury’s Creme Eggs and there is no reference to Easter on them. This is wokery gone mad.

Correction: The Tories need to start apologising for your mini-Budget

Dear Sky I’m cancelling my SkySports subscription because Gary Neville said bad things about angry middle age white men and the lovely flags which are my best friends. Must go as I’ve a flag waiting for me.

“Australia, Canada, Colombia, Mexico, Panama and USA won’t let me into their country as I’m a threat to their national security given my string of clinical convictions”.

“I’M IN LONDON. HAVING TO SHOUT AS THERE’S 3 MILLION PEOPLE HERE WHO SAY THEY’RE TAKING ARE CUNTRY BACK”.

“I want are cuntry back. I’ll have an onion bhaji and a couple of those delicious looking pakoras while I’m waiting for you to get deported”.

“On my way to roundabout painting training, I saw some of my voters hanging flags outside homes and businesses of people who looked a bit foreign. I stopped to help. Unfortunately my trousers fell down and my penis got tangled up in the flag for a while. It’s not what it seems”.

“So, what did you do this weekend?”. “Well, first of all I got pissed in Wetherspoons. Then I rose up and decided to take are cuntree back”. “Wow! What did you do”. “Well first of all, I shouted at a hotel. Then I painted are flag on a roundabout”. “Err…”.

“It’s Nigel. He’s offered me a job painting roundabouts”.

“If you don’t work hard at school you’ll end up going to Wetherspoons at 8 in the morning and then going out to paint roundabouts”.

Whatever patriotism is, it certainly isn’t encouraging hate of a fellow human because of their race, religion or heritage, while waving a flag. Pass it on.

My heart goes out to Lucy Connolly’s daughter. You can only imagine what she has been through for over a year. Then when she finally gets her Mum home she sees her trying to monetise hate instead of putting that behind her and rebuilding family life.

No to racism. Yes to humanity.

When I was little, the U.S. military came to our home at gunpoint and took me and my family away. We were imprisoned for years in barbed wire camps simply because we were Japanese American. I have spent my life telling that story, hoping it would never be repeated.

Loving this Clacton tourist poster.

“TV appearances by Farage, sir. You hope you’ve seen the last of them but still they keep coming.”

If I’d spent 14 years neglecting a house, burdening it with debt, not fixing the leaking roof, failing to modernise it and left nasty things hidden in the long grass, I wouldn’t criticise the new owners for not fixing everything in a single year. But then, I’m not Kemi Badenoch.

Nigel Farage. What first attracted you to not wanting to lower the voting age because you know most young people aren’t racist?

Rishi Sunak. What first attracted you to calling a General Election the day after a judge said the super injunction covering up the Tory’s Afghan debacle should be lifted?

Hey, it’s humid, mind. I’m sweating like a Reform MP hearing about the migrant return agreement with France and praying it doesn’t act as a deterrent and reduce small boat crossings.

Strange isn’t it? Those who voted for Brexit and say they don’t have any regrets? Even though Brexit supercharged the small boat crossings which were virtually nonexistent before? You never hear those people offering to take those asylum seekers into their own homes do you?

Who is old enough to remember the Daily Mail cheerleading for Brexit? The same Brexit that ended the Dublin Agreement, and lost the U.K. access to the EU fingerprint system? The same Brexit that supercharged small boat crossings which were negligible before then?

“Reform MPs sir. Horrible buggers fighting amongst themselves, no discipline or plans. Just 4 of them left but you’d think there were thousands of them by the amount of coverage they get.”

Mr Farage. Just one more thing. Reform’s first MP, a former Corbyn supporter had been suspended by the Tory party for being racist. Rupert Lowe was expelled. Now McMurdock is being investigated for dodgy Covid loans. Is there something rotten at the heart of Reform? Mr Farage?

What’s that Skippy? They’ve started to investigate dodgy Covid loans? Best if my lot keep their heads down for a while? Thanks Skip.

It’s from Nigel. He needs someone to count how many MPs he has left. He’s asked me to help!

Nigel, now say: ‘we have really strong vetting procedures for our MPs’.