I totally forgot about a doctors appointment tomorrow. Still, Wonderful 101 was good for the soul. I'm super happy I decided to pick it up for stream, even if my skills at it are...rusty as hell. I know its not much, but sent a raid over at @tibi3d.bsky.social 's way. Does great models, send love.

Im annoyed at twitch... I hope it behaves at least until the end of the next boss or I'm just gonna have a bad mood all nught.

www.twitch.tv/lupinecalibr... I'm taking a break from Pantheon 4 attempts to play some Wonderful 101 Remastered. Got it on Steam and after getting reasonably far in a personal playthrough trying to unlock stuff, I figure hey. just start fresh, stream it, have some fun. So here we go!

🎉Happy 34th Puyo Anniversary!!🎉 I'm a day late oops

if you see this post, your actions are: - if you have a spare buck, give it to Wikipedia, then repost this - if you don't have a spare buck, just repost your action is mandatory for the world's best source of information to survive

honestly i...am feeling stressed. Can't quite complete P4, I keep dying to stupid stuff, I'm frustrated, I need to make videos, I need ot promote myself, I need water and editors and just the assurance that I have some kind of money coming in so I can support my family and none of that's coming...

www.twitch.tv/lupinecalibr... Grinding Pantheon 4. Hoping to clear it and other stuff.

Silksong!

...Six to Eight months. That's my goal. Six to eight months to turn my hobby into a job, with income, that i can at least help support things with.... Let's get to work.

...I hate that I'm feeling like...Greedy. FOr wanting to get to Affiliate. But also, what else am I supposed to do? I need to make myself some kind of presence and like, I gotta push and I gotta support my family and...reh... money's a bad influence but I don't know what else to do...

www.twitch.tv/lupinecalibr... Early morning hollow knight. Working through the Pantheons, and grogginess.

Aaaagh.... I'm gonna try to get some gaming done. Let's play some more Hollow Knight. I still gotta go through Godhome and I just need something to focus on to shake the jitters. Hope we can make it to affiliate. #vtuber #vsky #envtuber www.twitch.tv/lupinecalibr...

I'm torn up on what to do...Like, I wanna keep streaming, but I don't want to only be streaming, but editing just gives me massive headaches and I hate that I'm struggling with it, but I want to make videos that are more than just highlights...

The vibe of "Hey buddy you mind, I was taking a nap"

Debating on whether or not I should stick to more short-form videos...not like, short-shorts, more "Here's part of a video series I'm doing, it's not that long but hopefully you learn a bit, it's a little light on editing but i hope that what I have to say is interesting and entertaining" way?

Honestly with the way things are nowadays, every RPG could use a blurb like this

Not how I expected to let yall know about me but hi. GC, gallowsCalibrator here. If you know, you know. Marie's gonna be taking a step back to recover, so i'll be taking the reigns for a bit to keep ourselves from collapsing. If anyone has questions, feel free. -GC

Has anyone ever got curious about a bad end that you like...know you wanna avoid cause like, you enjoy these characters too much and wanna avoid seeing their worst ends but curiosity overtakes you and you end up feeling hollow inside after seeing things you wish you could take back? Yeah....

I need better internet. My stream kees getting choppy and its bugging me....

www.twitch.tv/lupinecalibr... Gonna be up against the Nightmare King for the first time tonight. Not sure what I'll do after I beat him, *if* I beat him. I just want to throw myself at him and see how it goes. Live now. #vtuber #envtuber #vsky

Head's all over the place. I can't settle down for just one game, and I'm worried that if I try any sort of "Just chatting" stream I'd just recoil and leave within the first ten minutes. It's not even like I'm full of energy, I'm just struggling to keep it together.

Learned the hard way that Blood is just not a "stream" game for me. I'm not sure what a "stream" game will be fore me but it's not that.

www.twitch.tv/lupinecalibr... Playing more Blood! Let's hope this time goes smoother with NotBlood instead of just raw Fresh Supply.

That moment when I wanna make a purchase but god said "No" and now I have to wait for hours just to see if I can get anything purchased again...

Growing up is realizing editors are so much more important than you could ever realize good golly I want videos but I do not want to stick my hands through the editing process I know its me being a baby about it but aaaaagh, I don't wanna make slop but the tools burn my brain

Go to your parents's place and install Ublock onto their browser and add this filter " google.com##.hdzaWe " to get rid of the AI overview. You can use Ublock lite for chrome.

Updated my profile pic as I start working to a new stage of production...which is to say hopefully I can be more active than "Once in a blue moon." Which is funny considering I used a blue moon background for my first proper edited video but.... weh. #vtuber #vsky #envtuber #pngtuber

Decided to properly label myself. If i'm ognna commit, might as well be obvious.

Sooner or later i gotta figure out why I'm sleeping all the time. I've had trouble being awake for more than a few hours before sleeping and even when I'm "up", I'm just in bed. Something's up... Im hoping its just me being 30 and getting older.

Question! I'm trying to figure out a good set of poses for future streams, and I'm torn between using an angle or straight on. What do you think would be better for PNGs? #vtuber #pngtuber

Gonna play more Blood later today. It kicked my ass something fierce, so I'm gonna knock it down to the lowest setting which, y'know call me a baby, but there's a lot more going on here than I was ready for and I wanna develop my skills.

So I dived into Blood semi-blind, and while I had a good time, I got my ass beat to hell by Lightly Broiled which I'm learning is equivalent to like, ultra-nightmare in doom. Ouch. I'm gonna kick it down to Still Kicking and start fresh. See how that feels.

I'm trying to figure out good poses and expressions for my png... Do I go fullbody now that I'm short enough to get away with it, or just keep it above the waist? How many faces? Does it even matter? Idk...I just wanna like. Give the best I can. Even if I'm still struggling with the talking part.

So I have a "Plan" of sorts. I am going to work towards a 600$ PC build(I have a CPU already ready because of my brother, thanks bro) so I just need to keep on the grind, both Twitch and my erm...home allowance. It's hard to explain how nervous I am of making the push but I want to be full time.

That desire for self promotion and self selling but the reality of "I'm not even really good enough or talkative enough to hold an audience much less make partner" gets to me sometimes. I want to talk more but talking to the void is a skill I struggle to develop and it annoys me...

I think...I wanna try to make the push to Affiliate. Not tonight, I still have a lot to go through including changing profile images and setting up veadotube mini with my updated model(I tried with vnyan/vsee but my laptop cannot handle), and getting stuff together for videos.

I think instead of using my webcam for now, I'll get together a lot of poses and such for a png set. It'll help keep things from being too intense on my lappy.

I... seriously hope I sid not just double up on my meds. I gotta get a better way to track them. My heads a bit rough but im hoping that's because i took them a bit late and not that i doubled.

Taking my new model out for a spin. Also fighting off the horrors of Chernabog in Blood: Fresh Supply! I'm not 100% sure how high I can handle the difficulty so I'm going on the medium skill, Lightly Broiled. Afterwords to cool down I'll play Goblin Cleanup. sorry for the shitty thumbnail btw.

waking up and feeling unimaginable cringe from myself. Just the ways I tend to blow little troubles out of proportion and overcorrect and....bleh. Reeling myself back into the realm of "Its not that big of a problem, don't beat yourself up over it" is hard. I wish I weren't myself sometimes.

And because i got an updated model, updating a post here. According to vroid, 82.4 cm, or 2 feet 8 inches. Hopefully not too small for this stack? #nsfw #iconsent

Updated my look. Lemme know how yall feel about it #vsky #envtuber

Gonna try to push Vroid a bit more...I think...I gave up on updating my model in 3D because I thought I "HAD" to conform to 2D to be "Respected" or some crap like that...Mental limitations. Gonna sit back down, see what I can update, and post the updated model when I'm done.

My current Goblin Cleanup avatar. I feel very pretty.

Maybe I just need to stop thinking of consistency as daily? It's not like i don't get why i think this way, god knows i look at people who are successful and go "MAN, LOOK AT ALL THIS STUFF!!" And vtubers who are streaming like, every day. I can't compete with that level of stamina...

I feel bad that im struggling to keep consistent. Maybe this type of stuff isn't for me... maybe i'm in a sunk cost. I don't know. Not really, at least... could just be the depression trying to tell me to stop, could be reality kickijg in. I can't really tell.

www.twitch.tv/lupinecalibr... Chilling again with more Goblin Cleanup.

Yeah im about to sleep but i am realizing that as much fun as playing for an audience is, I want to make more edited content. Revisit that challenge idea I had for Monster Hunter, maybe find a smaller game to cut my teeth on first. I need to get into the swing before i go the full length...

Meds in... post-sad clarity, I think what's really throwing me off is this desire to do everything. I gotta slow down and remember there's not a fire under my ass, just the pressure built in my head. I think what I'm gonna do is step back, breathe, and keep it twice a week.