Well technically MY pronouns are I/Me/My. I don't know what the fuck you're going to use to refer to me

[French guy in South Korea surprised by a steamed dumpling]:

Probably too early to post but uh I'm cooking

UH. Should I make an unwise financial decision?

Mixing sound for a rental performance is like the blind men and the elephant except you all have an hour to assemble the elephant and make it do a trick

In a serious enough situation, a walkie talkie becomes a runnie yellie

Every touch tunes that plays Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas" in NOVEMBER is getting 12 priority plays of the Hanukkah song

[ADHD person trying to unclutter their house]: Just one more shelf bro. Just let me add one more shelf and that'll fix everything. Just one more shelf

Perhaps the pikmin bloom mood tracker could use a touch more nuance

"Who Wants To Be Less Edible Than A Billionaire?"

My coffee brewing process is now so involved that i sometimes forget to drink the cup of coffee at the end of it

Gym buddy and i have a real good bit going on rn where we text each other at 3 agreeing to meet at the gym at 7 and then neither of us show up

1. Donnie Darko 2. Dogma 3. Silence 4. Mr. Hands

every time my boss asks me to write something for a higher-up to say in a press release

Tool-Inhibited Speedrun

I went here and everyone knew me

Write and Draw at the Natural History Museum

I have been driving myself insane over an internal system launch for about two months. Finally posted it yesterday and now every time I see the checkmark on my to-do list I yell at the screen "AND I FUCKIN DID"

uma thurman

evergreen

I upgraded my WFH corner but showing it off would blow up my entire spot so oh well

It would be cool though if my brain had a little light that indicated the difference between depression and fatigue/illness recovery

You send out a word doc for review and there's people with job titles you couldn't dream of who will invent markup features that never existed just to avoid actually editing the fucking text

POP THAT BUBBLE

2+ day trip One fit Two notebooks No underwear AI is amazing

Kid Rock implies the existence of Adult Rock

I was a little concerned about a new Ranma series in current year but girl Ranma boymoding has blown my expectations out of the water

neo yokio rewatch was a good choice today

Walking into the bar and asking them to put on PBS

I (American) had to ask my boss (American) how to say "stag do" in American

Airport's gotta be my favorite place to get a $16 $10 $6 beer

Not even seen this yet but you'd have to be stupid to think it doesn't rip

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

another

Zoomer cheerleaders come out on the field and just blank everybody, shaking their pom poms and staring forward silently

Went to a barbecue place where you order your main by weight last night. Coworker was a little frazzled with the system until i hit her with a genuine "imagine a cheeseburger"

Message received

Listen i don't like to break rules or cause problems but I will say I have gotten a lot of free checked bags this year by being/feigning ignorance

Harry's cheese steak hash save me

Underground wrasslin good

The year is 2075. One intrepid director is at the avant garde of cinema by creating "realies," movies where everything on the screen is real

The deal will be made mostly in sheep, with a couple of bricks tossed in

tried to look up the name of Job's wife for a joke and

if you have considered it recently (or haven't) this is your recommendation to GO GET A MASSAGE. Felt like he pushed a damn golf ball out through my shoulder

go off hilda

commes des fuck on

When I say I was begging for this in Chicago youtu.be/NbGgI6Shirg

Yeah man try again it's definitely in there

drove down a two lane road tonight that had a section of my heading ripped out for replacement. There was just a yield sign on my side, as if to say "Manage yourself, you're all adults."