no invite like a class-action lawsuit invite 🤑

was happy at my job until returning from a 6-week writing residency

walked into a cafe in rural west virginia & everyone turned to look at me like in a movie

if you're disturbed by google ai complicity, this is an easy small thing you can do! to change ecosia to your default browser on an iphone's safari: > go to settings > search for & click safari > click "search engine" > select ecosia!

my 2025 vision board just dropped

i am so endeared to jalen williams's 100% earnest W.W.J.D. neck tattoo

theseus's 1999 honda accord

en route to a work meeting, i idly thought "time to pretend i'm a real person"

it's so cold out that my door handle snapped off in my hand

i'm becoming a basketball fan :(

i'm more worried about saguaros becoming sentient

returning to work on the first monday of the new year … my own personal january 6th

i hope nosferatu is the final letdown of 2024

back in mountain standard time.... where i belong! ⛰️🕰️

i keep fantasizing about an editor buying my novel & how i'd just start sobbing tears of joy

the drivers in the far right lane passing everybody are the real free thinkers

at our holiday lunch & my colleague just referred to her upcoming time off as a "impending series of unfortunate events"

why do costar horoscopes always sound like drunk undergrad diary entries cut into strips then drawn at random from a chelsea boot

riding in a lyft thru times square after being on an island with only 200 residents and 0 stop lights for 6 weeks is, um, very derealizing!!!!!!

remember when i said i was going to start training for fishers island's turkey trot? well, it's today and i didn't do that

gonna miss being the queen of fishers island

not me daydreaming about moving to los angeles...

not me daydreaming about moving to oxford, mississippi

not me daydreaming about moving to cincinnati....

not me daydreaming about moving to las vegas....

wild how portrait of a lady on fire is brokeback mountain II

apparently this is what i'm like at a dinner party

elvis is a marvel musical

i asked catch for advice and she said "read On the Road by Jack Kerouac"

wow i can't believe beach bum is easy rider II

all institutions that require letters of recommendation should pay the recommenders for their time

literally why did this loaf of bread come with a social security number

everyone is a pawn in my game when the game is please bring me my tennis shoes from the studio building so i can begin training for fishers island's turkey trot

today begins my 9-day training period for fishers island's annual 3-mile turkey trot

in the still for this music video, she's standing in front of the mural on the side of the theater my dad and i went to all the time when i was a kid :)

oh hey just some writers i deeply admire saying some nice shit about STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE (March 18 2025) by a clown 4 u clowns

𓂃𓂃𓂃𓊝 ࿐𓂃𓂃𓂃 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆝⋆.˚ 𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆞 𓆉𓆝𓇼𓆟 𖦹°‧𓆝𓆡𓆜 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼·.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⡶⠗ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⡟⠐⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠠⠂ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡠⠁⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⠿⠿⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣧⣿⣿⣿⠀⠸⠘⠇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣹⣿⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣷⡸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠂⡀⠨⠉⢻⣿⣟⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⡀⢠⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠂⠂⠁⢠⢿⣿⡒⠡⠂⠂⠐⠰⠁⡀⠂ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠆⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠠⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠉⠻⢿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⠟⠁

writing like a man

more god less internet

good morning from goblin :)

my 21 y/o boss had 6 step dads & now her mother lives in a "barndominium" with her horses

joining AA to become a better person

played croquet with my neighbors & all i got were 5 mosquito bites and a losing title

my cousin spelled "presence" like "presents" on her DnD themed wedding invitation

an undergrad gave me a job today, said all the staff are "besties"

one of my bar regulars, an alcoholic 59 y/o regional manager for general mills, offered to drive my car from montana to virginia for me

i did it. i smoked weed & became instantly 5000x funnier

I had such a great conversation w/ Shy Watson over at The Creative Independent, talking about my process and the artists who inspire me and how ultimately I still don't know what I'm doing. Hope you all dig it! 🔥🔥🔥 https://thecreativeindependent.com/people/writer-kevin-maloney-on-when-to-set-rules/