went mega hella super platinum on the hellsite,,, thought u all may also find it amusing

Me: I love polyarmory Her: u mean polyamory? Me, in a full suit of armor wielding a multiple swords: what

🅱️ö🅱️’s 🅱️ig 🅱️ussy 🅱️oppers Name: stop ✋ drop💧 roll 🛼 Songs: 60 Length: 3 hours Genre(s): House, Pop Dance, Tech House, UK Dance 🎧EDM bsky Happy Friday legends!

some classics in here “the name’s cash, kohl’s cash” Narc Ruffalo Buttercream Buttcheeks 📠 decider (we later made tshirts with my phrase “📠 only” on em) Bob, aspiring cult leader - made many trumpers mad when i’d troll them “YOU ADMIT YOU LIKE CULTS” 🎀fuck it we ball🎀 Bob Shammbob (go friars)

i am an agent of chaos… a former friend (started putting this together after he realized how often i did it so he is missing a bunch here and also this list only went to mid 2020… i kept it up for 2.5 more years lmfao (*former* bc after the pandemic he came to visit. stayed w gf and i. now his gf)

i disagree.

i’m also 21% sentient hat that forces children i just met into very specific cliques for the next 7 years

Pretty crazy I spent the majority of my life thinking I was Irish and Italian but I always felt like I was different. A Llama in boi’s clothing if u will. Thank god for 23 & me. these last 2 years i’ve finally felt like i knew who i truly was for the first time in my life. an emperor w a new groove🥹

saban and harbaugh have been blowing me up all day like hey i appreciate the attention but don’t u guys have something that might be a bit more pressing coming up? plus u haven’t even heard what NIL guarantees i want (hint: gonna involve A LOT of sick ass swords)

transfer portal has been insane today

women these days just hate men bc we never invite them to astral project with us, like sorry ur stuck in the mortal plane but how is that my fault??

Sauron’s carpal tunnel so bad a part of him was actually glad Isildur took a finger the Barad-dûr doctor finally had an excuse to ice the hand

Imagine ur Sauron n it’s a few weeks after forming Mordor. u finally get a lil downtime when it hits u…. Not a single chick in the entire realm. ur peeping some orcs on IG tryna convince urself some are kinda hot in an outdooorsy way but u know deep down the age of man about to be the age of hand 😔

Me: I love polyarmory Her: u mean polyamory? Me, in a full suit of armor wielding a multiple swords: what

oh shit i think spotify just sent me ur wrapped accidentally

holy whatthefuckishappeningivebeenonthissiteforlessthan2minutesinthepast20days

bisexual? no actually ur trisexual bc if u even try-sex-you-all are goin 2 hell

me vs. you,,,, do u see what i’m saying😈💯😩😎

Wow! Look who's on the cover this month!

love 2 pick up the latest edition of my favorite magazine Bruce Willis™️

a concept: Life, but less terrible in every way

waiting at the bottom of the speed halo chute for the cybertruck

this map had some money hiding spot. great place to drop ur pal from above outta nowhere and skerwer him as he flew off the map for uncertain amount of time

shotguns & swords only, here 25min. be thre or ur weaker than the Flood’s lil popcorn dudes

i was very productive today, so i think its fine if i take the next 12 days to decompress

i need to buy bluelight glasses again. i wore em for years then they broke and i just never replaced and i have to use eyedrops bc my eyes are on fire far too often

lebron is my second favorite player but only bc lebaron jones is number 1

get in line

fuck u simba!!!

the word being used “zionist” my brain “lionking”

i decided to only give candy to kids who could answer my riddles 3… honestly two was higher than i expected but they were twins so i let ‘em work together. tip of the cap lads…. to the rest of u, sucks 2 suck u lil idiots lmfao

was looking for something else but just found this bucket hat id forgotten i had.. i have precisely 2 bucket hats. both of them were given to gifted to me. one says is this Silly Boy and the other one, as many of u have seen is hot pink and says titties lmfao. love whatever tht says about my brand

i love my friends

hearing reports that there has been a mistake, James Harden is not going to the Clippers but rather he is going to Great Clips. tough to see, you’d think he could have at least finagled a seat at Sports Clips but i guess u take what u get

“actually i was in truly dark place & i spent way more time focusing on trying to get myself out of bed everyday & tbh i really don’t wanna be sending this to u bc i dont wanna work there but i gotta try on account of no more doubloons and y’all have doubloons to spare so here i am NOW GIMMEDAGOLD”

the “career break” on my resume feels a lil disingenuous w a bullet re: focusing on my well-being then 3 or 4 about python courses.. cover letter’s even worse w some “more excited than ever to get back to work” bullshit sike bitcc id rather do quests lmao… twas told to do it like this so fuck it we🏀

okay that is EXACTLY what a guy who doesnt know how to pronounce or spell the word “voluptuous” sounds like. u freakin nailed this brôthęr. u absolutely killed this one king.

*extremely guy who doesnt know how to pronounce or spell the word “voluptuous” voice* damb girl u lookin’ hella valumpchewiss 🥵

*forehead kiss* missed u bro ☺️

let us cook ‼️🔥💯

phil lewis is the town crier of bsky. philly scoops

essentially we all just sat their in disbelief as she boiled her argument down to she loves gettting drunk on tuesday, the day i would argue is th least drunk day of the entire week. she was 28 too! not like a college kid with dollar beers on tuesday. so… hearing how she went about her week was sumn

once had a girl argue it was the best day bc “tequila tuesday” and everyone was lkke what do u mean by that like having a margarita once in a while and she was like no like ya know how everyone blacks out on tuesday bc wednesdays are useless and again everyone was….. okay but what do u mean by that

it is, always has been, and always will be #TuesdayWorstDay. fuck u tuesday, i hope u step on a lego

wish i could share videos but i thought this bit about transitioning was very funny and it was both trans humor and computer humor which are obv both prevalent here. so go look at this guys page if that piques ur interest and also devs give me vids rfn challenge

that Pop is a Icon

whenever i see “iggy pop” my brain says “I CRASHED MY CAR INTO A BRIDGE” even tho i know 100% that is not a correct connection.