If I had my own country i’d probably call it Jimpan, Jimslyvania, Jimbabwe. something like that

The last week or so the gay mafia has been trying to takeover the sopranos shitpost sub. Happy pride

Its Saturday night and you KNOW I be filling myself with concoctions and creations

My cat takes such human dumps, nature is amazing

just watched this one again

Why does tony like fugazi so much anyway?

Oh cum, all ye sex haver

Its punishable by death to make me work 6 days in a row

Gas is cheaper at night because thats when the war goes to bed :)

Watching a guy put branches in a wood chipper and my first thought was tackle him into the chipper

Went to a sopranos themed sandwich place today and had an amazing gabagool

Cats are always trying to plunder me beans

Ah how I hate that old familiar feeling

Trying to give your cat an iv at home is one of the most soul crushing things you can do

Sucked hog fallacy

Pat Roison's Rat Poison: "In The Shitty Cardboard Box©"

Bitches, leave.

Babe whats wrong youve been playing yeehaw ass music all night?

Hey dude I just heard on the radio that king kong lives on the south side of town now,, yeah i know! They said he gives terrible head tho,, what no?! dude they said that on the radio yeah,, real toothy head yeah

Aye master Gollum sir ill grant ye they’re a dirt loving people, but ye cannae be callin em “filthy” no more. Tis the third bloody age mate

🎄Christmas dracula you suck too fast 👊😠👍 Christmas dracula I aint gonna last 👊🥵🤚🎄

This Fitcarraldo dude just chucks a poor baby ocelot :(

Fridays are for smoking that shit that made babu frik

Its Saturday night and you KNOW I be filling myself with concoctions and creations

I have a ska cat and a reggae cat

Spiders From Mars had two dudes named Mick

Reflecting on all the funny things I saw on my phone this year

Have you accepted goku as your lord and savior

Finally paid off my cats medical bills from last year!

Local vegan coffee shop closing because the workers tried to unionize. Tired of being told that supporting local is important when those businesses don’t support us

When I was young, kids ONLY wanted rhinoceroseses! These days they all want hippopotamuseses! This is because of moral decay

I know I gave myself a mental disorder by drinking two sips of a monster in 06 and nothing the doctors tell me will change that

If you are unkind this holiday season you may be visited by the White Grinch

May your dans always be steely

Heat was so good

The year is friday, shopping malls are now battlegrounds where only the strong survive

Struggle with acts of kindness

Happy sunday

Babe just because its rusted and unmovable doesn’t mean my van with a hot tub in the back can’t be a fun sexy time

Security guard stared at me the entire time i was in the grocery store, was yelling at this old lady for stealing cheese blocks when I left. Surely this is the sign of a healthy economy

Baby call me Alf because people do NOT like me

Time immemorial has been updated to include everything before 1979

The thing about nice new boots is that they’re still a pale shadow of vans checkered slip ins, the ultimate shoe

Getting into steely dan and can’t buy a thrill has an insane ratio of bangers

I got this sick hoodie yesterday but i decided to pull a pat and im gonna try and acetone the logo off

Movies hate to see my eyeballs coming

Feeling civic pride about that guy doing a kramer on our city bus

Sometimes you get 75% of the way through a bob dylan song when he brings up that this guy that’s totally not him walks around with a parrot on his shoulder

Did I throw it out by accident or did it fall under something? The small living space saga