Hair dye and sex toys are really the only things where the technology for women is noticeably in advance of that for men. Never seen a man with a dye job that isn’t heinous

Trump and Elon drop dead > someone normal buys X and turns it back to twitter > people stop using their instagram grid to make topical news jokes Their GRID 😧😧😧

Where are the next generation of snooker players going to come from if Gen Z don’t drink

Have you noticed Bluesky has started hiding replies the same way TikTok does? Not offensive or even rude ones, just ones that disagree with the OP’s point, end up hidden

My favourite tweet

forgot the most important of the genre

Absolutely convinced I’d be such a fan favourite if I was a professional snooker player - I’d be playing up to the crowd, mugging away, banter all over the place

Ok, I’ll post one tonight, why not

Which snooker player do you think you look most like? I’d say Judd Trump for me

Forget oil, these teriyaki chicken bites are my own personal retail price index. They were £4 when Asda brought them in, I remember being scandalised at how fast they went up to £5.50, in this ad they’re £5.95, today they were £6.68

Never say social media doesn’t give you opportunities - because in real life no one this thick even tries to talk to me

I really hope this woman knows she’s a celebrity in my house

If I didn’t already have a licence I dont think id learn to drive now, everyone in this country has lost their mind on the roads

Drinking bottled water at the snooker while you’re in Manchester, Trump? For shame, the tap water is pure NECTAR

Lmaoooooo

Ok chiitan

‘Personal conduct’ could mean anything you know. Some of you are alarmingly quick to assume a gay man is a sexual predator

Yes I do find this photo very amusing

Why am I single? Because at my age, in a small town, this is what every bar looks like

Can’t believe what I’m reading about Scott Mills - some of you listen to radio 2??

I’m having Palm Sunday pancakes at 6pm if anyone wants to join x

Another reason I hate AI: “garnered”. AI-written ‘news’ stories that are just recounting what some celebrity said on insta always say “the post garnered 1000s of likes” and now real people say it too

unfortunately “it's all corrupt girl” will be entering the lexicon

after all that I was only suspended for a day

Wtf is this???? I didn’t repost this why would I

Forced into an evening hair wash (cursèd ablution) because I’m out EARLY on the trail of a juicy kilo sale and I can’t risk my wig flying off while I’m roughhousing in the racks, what a rigmarole that would be

I wonder at what point in typing, as a 50yo man, that you’re going to sit through a weak boarding school story aimed at 9yos because it “makes all the right people angry” you realise what a loser you are

Someone on here I hate so much I have to frequently draft posts about how much I hate him and then delete them because we’re not supposed to “police follows”

I shouldn’t know about this at my age, I think, after searching “my waist” in TikTok sounds, scrolling and having the time of my life

The more they try to smear Chappell Roan the more I like her

I'm gonna go ahead and say it: the scale, persistence, choreographed nature and thoroughness of the current smear campaign against Chappell Roan only makes sense from the point of view that she dropped her Epstein-affiliated management a month ago. This is revenge

Obsessively applying cuticle oil to stunt on these Reddit hoes. What does it do, I know not. But I have got unchallengeably greasy fingers

Oh wow some people actually watched the Huw Edwards thing? A dramatisation of something very unpleasant we all remember because it was last year? What exactly was the appeal for you?

I’d far rather hear compliments on my nails than my beautiful eyes. I mean it’s nice to hear but I didn’t do anything to make those

How do you take a decent photo of your nails, anyway I finished them and they’re so cute #nailart

The child Chappell Roan shouted at was *Jude Law’s* daughter? Oh this changes everything

the human body was not designed to know what the worst person in the world is doing every fifteen minutes

Look at my nailssssss 😍🥰 Haven’t done the other hand yet but it’s just going to be the same in reverse order

Me 😔

Torn between wanting to be outside dipping chips in ice cream and wanting to crack on with these nails because they are 👨‍🍳💋

It’s funny how onlyfans always always comes up when they discuss “modern women” - rw men are so angry that this tiny minority of women are getting genuinely rich from it 1. They’re jealous 2. They can only enjoy porn when they think the women are reluctant, miserable and exploited

Hung up by Madonna “ring ring ring goes the telephone, the lights are on but there’s no one home”

Weird how the best water bottle to drink out of is always the ugliest. Mine is silver glitter and makes me resent the hydration

Just in front there’s a van that says DOGGY

Every time they debate making jaywalking a crime, I think about how there’s a petrol station slap in our town centre and fully half of pedestrians cut through the actual forecourt to shave about 10 seconds off their journey

Can’t wait for analysis of a topical sketch show from people who spend all day taking turns quoting the same clickbait headline with a still from their special interest ancient telly programme

How DO men start all these wars because all the ones I know are SO conflict-avoidant they only have two responses: say “fair point” then block me, or ignore the last thing I said then wait a week and message on a different platform

We fucking told you. You cannot separate trans rights and feminism. They are inextricably linked. Transphobes are anti-feminist. Transphobia is anti-feminist.