It's a FCF* rather than video, I'm afraid *Frozen Capture Friday

Guy at the gym lifting his shirt to check that his abs are indeed very defined as he sits at the ab crunch machine is just a personal attack at 11.25pm.

Probably because the other gentleman had a pulse 🫠

Until very recently, you could pay £75 and make him say whatever you wanted on Cameo.

How I'm looking at all your thirst traps

Once again, I am only able to offer the front hump.

Those pecs are... a serve. 😮‍💨

as a member of the gay community you have 11 days to promote this show or else

See you soon, Birmingham

Boycotted it last year, same this year.

Recently got measured as 5'8" instead of 5'9" so am now coming to terms with my Short King status.

Just another FCF* in the UK. *Frustrated by Cunts Friday

I'm totally fine with diving straight into the latter. Bring back shame, I say.

Those with a civic duty to perform. You know what to do….

I have a lot of work to do on myself but I decided I'm gonna be chill about it. (For maybe 2 days.)

Goodnight from a living-room floor

Some people are so hot it fills me with both awe and rage, don't ask me to explain

Couldn't afford to see Tori Amos this time so have major FOMO. 🥺 But she once told me I had a cool name. 🥹

Bless you for starting this. 🙏

In related news, I have restarted the gym membership I can't afford. 🥲

Was feeling confident and sexy yesterday. Then I saw a photo of me. 📉

Bought an amazing pair of trousers in Paris a few months ago that are already too big on me. Gonna have to get a fat ass. 😔

When he dies, I'll post D again.

He (generally) wears clothes!

Horny! For a hot young stud on the train.

If you're in Brighton, please come to my show or tell any of your ghoulish friends about it. Can't be having a flop on my hands (derogatory) 😭 www.brightonfringe.org/events/you-o...

[Trudges into room with a sleepy hello.]

The Australian Propaganda Machine* has got me good. *Masterchef and Bluey.

Hope you're enjoying your Sunday

I celebrated FCF very well, with a tahini latte and pain Suisse in Paris. But I was in public so there are no pics of my penis.

Nobody ever wants to see me when I'm in their area* 🥲 *well, a couple of people are up for meeting but that doesn't serve my narrative

Sky News: Human penises are shrinking because of pollution, warns scientist. Greta Thunberg: See you all at the next climate strike :) news.sky.com/story/human-...

3 selfies before noon? What am I, a slut? (Don't answer that.)

I cleaned myself.

A wonky morning to ya

Me flirting:

QTP with you and your furry friend(s) 🐶🐱

May you FCF*. *Feel Crotch on Friday

If I liked working out as much as I love sampling baked goods in cute cafes, it'd be over for you hoes.

Bsky knew they had to sort out the outage in time for FCF, or else.

[Not understanding a single word] YEAH.

Haunted again by imagining what the next Aaliyah album would've been like.

This thread is stunning but when you're severely myopic it's very hard to look good in glasses so hard pass.

Being reunited with a hunky Ozzy daddy next week 🥰

Mail is running a poll on whether the UK should rejoin the EU. Takes seconds to vote and it's going hilariously well... www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...

PSA: Big D is a good source of protein.

Why the fuck are any of you still shopping from Amazon? I know they’re impossible to avoid, and I know it’s impossible to be a fully ethical consumer in a capitalist society But FUCK you can still CHOOSE not to shop with the company that kills people and demands their living coworkers ignore it.

Muscle-gain Monday or something.

Unlike many politicians, I keep my promises.

If Hungary votes Orban out, I'll post D.