Behold the best possible biscuit

BURNNN

I love how the medium on Late a night with the Devil is like WHO WILL ACCEPT? like this is a collect call from the beyond

Future historians: at what point did suns out guns out become suns out buns out

The entity awoke to find that in the millenia it napped a whole civilization had come into being around it, with planetary colonies and space stations. Ah well. It shook off the detritus, burning it off in stellar radiation like so many gnats. Messengers often have their own agenda. #vss365 #angel

Stupid people have it so easy. They just stick their heels in the ground and make the smart people go around them until one day they get driven into the asphalt

This artist is transforming a Greyhound bus into a museum about Black American migration Roughly 6 million Black Americans migrated from the South to escape Jim Crow-era racial segregation www.cbc.ca/radio/asitha...

My friend was pale, sculpted, and with hair so black it was almost purple. Sometimes I wondered why she never held a partner long, man or woman. I met one, not long ago, and he showed me the places where her roots sunk in, where she climbed and bloomed so beautifully #wisteria #vss365

Votives lined the gallery of the small church. Each candle showed the name of a patron, and by the size of the candle one might guess at the size of a patrons purse. The Buddhist looked on as his friend lit one, wondering what peace was to be found here. #spiritual #vss365

Nothing could beat applause, thought the songstress curtains closed over her bow. Her elation lasted through the after-party, the recovery ice bath, the next performance. The curtains opened. Seated there were the eager smiles of the dead, bones rattling as they clapped together. #idolatry #vss365

Night was fully fallen when the outpost's lone observation tower exploded in a column of fire. It had been lightly armored to observe the armistice, and was now a symbol of its fall. In the day, we examined the wreckage of both materiel and our doubts. We were at war. #skirmish #vss365

Not to downplay the grace of the prima, but the audience could only talk about one thing after the ballet. The swoop of it, the heft, a swish you could feel even in the nosebleeds. Oh where had the costumer gotten it? In the wings, the flayed grinned lipless, toes worn to stubs. #taffeta #vss365

Let's cut a break for worm brains here

Honest to a fault, Brother Hobart couldn't help but tell the demon about the TP stuck to his heel. "You've done me a good turn, monk," said the fell in a charnel voice, "which deserves another," before vanishing. For the rest of his life, Hobart wondered what that could be. #hamartia #vss365

Yo Fitzpatrick really hit the detonate button and walked away without looking back at the explosion? HES A HEROOOOOOO

Much like their ancestors' rebellion at the turn of the 20th century, theirs bore a misnomer from their oppressor and all trace of their grievances were lost in misinformation. But the identity, the culture and nobility was never lost, sprouting like a seed after a cleansing flame #boxer #vss365

I've been playing Death Stranding 2. The first hit during the pandemic and brought people much-needed community when we were all isolated. This one feels timely again, highly recommend if you need to self administer therapy and feel like we can help each other

It was difficult to still say he was fighting for his country when he kicked down the door to find a family sitting down around McDonald's, the little girl enamored with a tiny Elmo plush. It could have been his family, his baby about to be torn from them. So he quit. #vss365 #patriot

Plague had not been seen in the modern world for ages. Citizens accustomed to indoor plumbing and Uber Eats could barely recognize the symptoms: a yearning for old music, irrational fear of the new, getting lost visiting old neighbors. Like syphilis, memory was a beloved sickness #nostalgia #vss365

If a young lady is a socialite then is a maiden aunt a social heavy? An absolute authority on etiquette and station, the final enemy of the egalitarian revolutionary

Who says "writers block" and not "I'm having a dry spell"

What idiot refers to their work as “experimental poetry” instead of “irregular vowel movements”

What idiot says “the words are flowing” instead of “I’m textually active”

We blocked out the choked, wet gasps as much as possible and hoped the hatch seals would hold. When it was done, the creature leered at us from the tiny living module porthole, enjoying our shock, drinking the pain. They were wrong. Turns out everyone can hear you scream. #vss365 #space

Instead of a mystery, a puzzle, and a clever literary device, Arthur decided to wrap his plot in layers of tempered chocolate and crispy candy coating. He figured the subject was so depressing, a little sugar would help it go down. Nobody, not even his editor, knew why. #enigma #vss365

Working out of a beat up Toyota Accord with nothing more than a beatific look and some old soda cans for candlesticks, she nevertheless amassed a following in the small town. In time they ousted the right leaning council and filled the valley with a haze of good weed and good vibes #guru #vss365

I wonder if any subs ever fell prey to the Greek Furies and was just like Erinyes? ErinYASSS

Her earliest ancestor was a mycelium spore in the wooden case of a Chinese apothecary who set up shop in the old American west. Sentience only came with the accelerated evolution aboard colony ships in deep space. Violent colonialism? Inherent to her fungal nature, it seemed. #progenitor #vss365

🪩 🪩 🪩 🪩

Sometimes I wish I didn't know about good food and could still enjoy Dallas BbQ for what it is

Is this the Onion or actual malevolence I can't tell

We went to the same school, worked at the same pizza place, even dated the same girl, unfortunately at the same time. We diverged when Paul said he got the promotion, two days after the doc gave me the diagnosis. I didn't bother with fair, just picked up to go to Paris. #parallel #vss365

Is Jonathan just John Ethan

I thought this was an Onion article

This is the most billionaire thing ever

I know, white?

i don't know why i find the title so funny

Facing each other at the perfect angle, the mirrors showed my face infinitely reflected back at me. In the green tint of too many shadows, my other selves seems to have lives of their own. One of them was eating what looked like a nacho sundae, sparking envy as green as guacamole #self #vss366

Melissa Hortman, who was assassinated last night, was the Speaker of the Minnesota House in the 2023-2024 session, when Democrats ran the state government. That means she had a leading role in shepherding the many landmark reforms that Dems adopted in that period—an important legacy. Brief 🧵.

"on the one hand one guy will grope every lady he sees including your mama and on the other hand the guy has no white in his beard, this is an impossible choice"

Snow More Kings

Jesus. The juxtaposition of these two posts back to back is just...

Me as a kid reading Dune: I don’t get why their whole society is built around the eradication of A.I., seems like they’re wasting a lot of tech Me as an adult: oh that’s why

If you are a legitimate publisher please try to reach me here or email, don't use a number you bought from an internet lead scrape

"Non-Euclidian" was such a a cop out for what we saw in that restaurant. Like saying something tastes like chicken or making up a new word for a color. That dish had been worked by something outside our universe. But honestly, it tasted fantastic. #shape #vss365

How is it fair that my cat is allowed to occupy my lap for 10 min before I go to work and deprive my right to be grouchy

How is it fair that my 16month can demand her show by saying "Elmo" in the cutest way imaginable

Dr. Ma paused, scalpel nearly touching the patient's pancreas. "Is this... An X?" Further exploration revealed burn marks, some very small jugs containing miniscule amounts of rum, and in the organ's cruciform wound a hole about the shape of a chest as #treasure #vss365

What we saw from a distance as a small hut turned out to be organic and rounded, with ribbed tissue instead of rafters. It was also extremely long, extending far into the distance. We took out our exoplanet defenses: rifles, batons. Not enough for whatever left this gargantuan molting #vss365 #shed