Solid color shirts. Above-the-knee shorts. White shoes. 🚬🚬🚬

My gym crush is in my DMs and I’m 😍🥵😈

The first day of my weeklong PTO and I now have a critical meeting to join, and two additional projects that I need to tackle this week

Out: "I'm into fem tops" In:

So, uh, Claude Code wanted me to pass along a compliment about a file structure to our Designer.

My report (I’m a research manager) just asked how to edit HTML so she can make small changes without getting front-end involved. I’m so proud. 🥲 🥹

Just like they said No New Wars

Dogs

Me: on a scale of 1 to 10 how drunk am I? Husband: 6. It took you too long to take your pants off when you came in. Ok look I’m not a fan that I’m known for a Thing and that Thing is disrobing immediately

Oh no I haven’t been this drunk in AGES. God is good. Jesus is king. Easter bunny is queen. The leprechaun from the Skittles commercial is prince.

This hat is so cunt. Oh my god. Who wants to buy for me?

After a rough few weeks it’s time to lock back in 💪

Depression hits different when you’re on Lexapro because you KNOW that’s some serious sadness if it can burst through 10mg

Show me your spice rack, I wanna see something

Free agua fresca refills this is my new favorite place ok

It’s Friday

Getting ringworm in your 40s should not happen. That should just be an impossibility I should never have to worry about.

Went to the gym and now to stick to my boy diet of weed and spaghetti

gapemaxxer HoleinOne just mogged fellow gapemaxxer CuntDracula

Newsome and his crew are still pieces of shit.

I want the second season of #StarTrek Starfleet Academy to be so LGBTQ+ AF that they show (tastefully, of course 🤣) a scene that confirms certain Klingon anatomy with Kyle and Darem riding Jay'den like a tandem bike 😜

lmao ok so wait you like men but we haven't made out yet? yea ok sure. 🙄

THOSE ARE CHILDREN IN THE FIRST PICTURE. HALLOWEEN COSTUME BOYS. you do not need to respect any law enforcement officer if they are a zoomer.

Page 158 in Project 2024: The privatization of the TSA. ICE being sent to airports certainly feels like an attempt at privatization static.heritage.org/project2025/...

As someone said, Ellison wants to kill StarTrek because it represents liberal ideas, like, ya know, empathy

In our company benefits Slack channel, we're talking about how awful Anthem is as all of our meds are more expensive, and then someone posted this. Its been crickets in the channel since

Was sick for 4 days and now I’m not sick but the Taco Bell from last night isn’t agree with me

Using the joy on as a mouse in Pokopia is absolutely goated; it makes painting so much easier.

Happy Friday

Happy Friday

Gear night at the Eagle

On Monday I took a mental health day by saying I had a sore throat and sinus pressure. This morning I woke up with a sore throat and sinus pressure. real gift of the magi shit

Whew. Gotta do a social media purge. I had what could be described as ‘Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought it would happen to me…” type of sex and all I could think during and after was “wow, uggo” Body dysmorphia be gone! I know I’m good!

God I love that chunky necklaces are in this year.

Naming your gym equipment after wax-made hubris is right up there with naming your spaceship Prometheus or your time machine Cassandra

Pokopia is WILD. Bulbasaur and Paras just had a conversation about their back-plants blooming. Paras said they’re tied and hungry all the time, and Bulbasaur said it’s probably because your flower is about to bloom. Paras is all excited now and I’m over here like

Holy shit. Alamo Drafthouse fell off real hard www.instagram.com/reel/DVwxhdM...

Drifloon was on Epstein Island

Hanging out with my friends they’re just off camera

God bless the faggots working on this show

She came with receipts

finally home

Gear night at the Eagle

Watching user testing videos at 3x speed just to feel something. The general population reads so slowly out loud. Our literacy rates are really flatlining huh?

The single best horror-comedy Ive ever seen. Its in the history books for the one of the longest one-shots in a film (37 min) and for making 1,000x its budget (cost $25,000 USD, made $30.5 million worldwide) Masterclass of a film. And do not read anything about it going in.

UI Designers, stop ideation testing with high-fidelity mocks. People will give you feedback about copy and buttons, not feedback on which general idea is better.

I need them all

Final Destination lookin mothrrfucker