Just hanging out, bro

I think I could rock the shirt

Oh my fucking god I’m not rich enough to even open this page. feature.com/products/dri...

Ok where the fuck do I buy this shirt?!

A friend took a pic of me by the pool this weekend and whew I did not like what I saw. Time to get serious again. Whew.

Oh whew saw a speedo pic and I need to get on a diet stat. Damn.

We did it, Joe

My pre-workout is lasagna

Imagine working on a story 42 times only for the marketing department to put all of it in the ads.

What if we made out in the sushi-grade fish aisle? 👉👈

Call her Dwayne, cause she’s rockin’ on my Johnson.

giving up this hole for lent

Hello if you've followed me from that USA Today tweet, welcome. I have dumb thoughts and occasionally show root.

Holy shit. Insane levels of corruption.

I think about this chase scene once a week. Such an incredible take on Godzilla.

I just feel like Clarissa may have omitted some stuff

I stg the mirror here is magic

Glue Ham Raise is absolutely humbling. Form is fucked up but I’m just happy I got it up (that’s what she said)

At this point it’s easier to count the movies that I don’t cry during 11/10

Stop casting Jared Leto

Don't send a slack message that you wouldn't want to have read in a courtroom.

I had to use the phrase “just to be autistically clear…”

Over stimmied and under kissed 😩

Clue (1985)

Ok ok enough doom scrolling. Here is my #humpday

This woman walked in with a Charlie Kirk shirt and @st33b.bsky.social turns to me and says “she has a target on her back”

Has anyone dealt with hearing your pulse in your ear? Super fucking annoying.

All day all night.

Warn people about 9/11 and COVID

Donate to the Human Rights Campaign my.onecause.com/event/organi...

I took the German or Autistic diagnostic. Result: Both. The Wittgenstein Result. I don't know whether to be proud or concerned. german.millermanschool.com

Taking applications for a house boy to make my bed for me

Pedophile roundup

Odd, He picked this one to attend, but not the previous ones.

This is what I mean when I say I have “show muscles”

That stupid sad/depression voice is a little louder today than usual. I’m so glad it waits for the weekends to speak up 😩

Why tf did I wear a thong to the symphony?

I stg the mirror here is magic

Walking into the club with a purse full of gummy worms

Let us see who is saving posts. I wanna know who jorkin' it to my pics.

Michigan? No thanks, Michonceisenough.

The tan lines are looking great

I worked out please clap

I like to walk around public all confident and alluring but in reality all I’m thinking is “I hope I don’t have to poop soon”

America

Happy Friday. Someone grab my trunks please.

I need a few drinks to do gay stuff (shop at a gay clothing store)

Happy Friday. Someone grab my trunks please.