JFC my mom just asked me to record the last voicemail my dead brother left and I am out of everything in my tank now. I hurt everywhere. I'm so done. Goodnight.

February 1st. Got it.

I just watched Achilles, 16 yo dog, walk around the pool and mentioned that I should close it at night so he didn't fall in. My mom confessed that Paco, our chiweenie, didn't die in his sleep but drowned in the pool. I broke down. I pulled him out many times before. I wasn't there the last time.

Close to done! It's about the only time I allow myself to watch old Grey's episodes. It's mostly background noise along with the birds. But this bit: "If you love somebody, tell them. Even if you're scared it will cause problems or burn your life to the ground, say it loud and go from there."

I had some weird dreams last night. In one, I was walking away from an outdoor cafe table where I was visiting with my friend, Rachel. I was wearing a red summery wrap dress and I said to her, "I've let go and I'm ready." She gave me a look that said, yeah right, but I felt light and confident.

A sneak peek

This morning I am reminded of why I rarely drink alcohol anymore. A couple of drinks makes me loopy and knocks me out. Ugh. Liquid IV, ibuprofen, food, and coffee are a must before theatre today.

We have this one magnificent life to live, so why aren't you spending it with me?

I've had this song in my head for weeks. I don't know why. youtu.be/nWuZMBtrc1E?...

I remember we were in the third row from the stage for Slaughter and Warrant. It was so much fun. Man, I do miss those times. For me, it felt free and more optimistic. This was early 90s mostly. youtu.be/8Za0gWXJW1w?...

Damn. Sometimes I forget about my jr high and high school years and then I hear and see this. Seriously, I loved it. It was so much fun. youtu.be/r2uNl0648zQ?...

😊 youtu.be/L6-uJLteKek?...

Dearest Gentle Reader, As I wasn't personally invited to Lady Bridgerton's masquerade ball, I shall share two masks I have previously worn, which would have been adequate, in my opinion, for such an event. And with that, cheers. It's been a rather long week, and more work ahead this weekend. 💙

RIP 💔

It's going to be a good Friday, I can feel it. Instead of using a chunk of my bonus to buy a laptop and take a vacation, I used the entirety, plus half of my paycheck, to pay off my car loan almost two years early. My car might not be fancy, but it's now MINE. 😁 Hellz yeah!

Did you know? I love birdwatching. And a few other things... 🏴 🏴 🏴 #Art #ArtNouveau #Birding #Anarchy #Antifa #Anticolonialism #Anticapitalism

Well, I got a bit of a raise, a bonus that I can use to *finally* buy a new laptop, and I just cut open a perfectly ripe avocado. Good stuff.

You deserve happiness 💙

Three years ago, I was driving home and had to pull over to capture this stunning sunset. At least half a dozen other people did the same. It was a breathtaking moment.

It's family and friends, and that's the truth The fountain doesn't give you back your youth It's staying up too late at night and laughing under kitchen lights So hard you start to cry youtu.be/b2KRc5ilYRc?...

OPINION by Dexter Lim: A new definition of “waters of the United States” could strip federal protections from vital Southwest waterways — and leave Nevada high and dry. thenevadaindependent.com/article/opin...

Zero desire to get out of bed and go to work this morning. Terribly long, busy week ahead between work and full run rehearsals nightly. Next week will be the same. Ugh. Anyway, here's a picture of a rose I took in the backyard yesterday. Breathe and keep moving forward. 💙

I needed a moment of joy, so I decided to sit on the bricks right next to the hummingbird feeder. I knew my feathered friend would see me there and pop by for a visit while replenishing itself. Sorry for my voice. I talk to my birdies like I do babies. I wuv them. 💙

Six years ago, when the girl was indeed just a girl and not sweet sixteen, she dared to wake up early and join me to take pictures of the hot air balloons. She has not done so since.

Punk Parakeet says, “RESIST. REST. REPEAT.” 🪶 #art #activist #abolishice #alexpretti

FUCK ICE

Played around and accidentally found this setting that turned a photo into a drawing. I kinda like this one.

Pulled over on my drive to work and got a short video.

A few more hot air balloons

I forgot this weekend is the hot air balloon festival. I love this time of year. 💙

Trailer for the new He-Man movie just dropped and I've got a lump in my throat cos it looks like everything it should be for my nostalgic old bum. 🥹🥹🥹 youtu.be/ZmEx7wQI6RY?...

Early morning mid-week reflections, before sunrise, ten minutes apart. Take care out there. 💙

This is me. People stop me and ask for directions in random cities I visit, even in Finland. Interestingly enough, I can usually guide them. People also ask me where to find items in stores.

I love this dream.

One of my many feathered friends in the backyard as I was pulling weeds today.

spread hummus not hate

The stars are clear and bright tonight as I enjoy the fire. Wish you were here.

Beautiful day here in the desert.

I swear our family can't seem to catch a break. Please send positive thoughts into the universe for a family member today. Yesterday doctors discovered lesions on her colon and tumors on her ovary and kidney. They're performing colon surgery today and she has consults for the tumors. My heart aches.

"You think you’re watching an innocent woman being shot and killed by an ICE agent, but what you’re really watching is the radical left threatening, assaulting, and targeting law enforcement officers and ICE agents daily, who are just trying to do the job of making America safe."

Seek out beauty and joy whenever and wherever you can, especially during these difficult times. 💙

Wow. I heard this for the first time this morning thanks to a dear friend and it's incredibly moving. youtu.be/aKWV7b3j5P0?...

I mean, I guess this will do.

Sunday funday (after errands and chores).

Good news: my muscle mass is at an estimated 41% (actually a bit higher), which is great, esp for my age. I just have too much fat hiding my glorious muscles right now. 😅 Bone mass and visceral fat percentages are great as well. So, not all is doom and gloom. Just jiggly.