Solo pint in Northampton town centre if anyone wants a quick, efficient and utterly devasting act of brutality committing upon their person/persons.

Has Henry Winter taken a severe knock to the noggin ?

His uncle was a top shagger, understandable the rate has dropped since he died

Sounds more like Dyche every day.

Shares a birthday with Graeme Sharp, don't ya know ?

Evertonian, Arteja Folla needs your help. Trafficked into modern slavery from Albania by a criminal gang, she has made a life in Liverpool and now she faces deportation back into the hands of the people who trafficked her. Ari is a lovely, thoughtful and compassionate woman, who I know personally.

Yer Da sings along to Fontaines DC in an Irish accent.

And the maestro is 65 today. Happy birthday Bob.

Really enjoying digging into Queen's extensive back catalogue again. Freddie really was just the ultimate frontman wasn't he?

"Have you all got your fun packs? I've got one here. Dropped it. It's all right. I've got a list. Here. It should contain a torch, a CurlyWurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a Bic-style razor and a copy of the Daily Express. Ooooooh, it's a good paper."

In your town tonight.

We are still interested, Bob. We are.

In your town tonight.

As great as it is to see the likes of Cape Verde qualify, would it not be better to have a second world cup style tournament for the very low ranked nations? The equivalent of Europa/Conference. Gives the smaller nations some chance of actually winning some silverware, or at least some games.

Get along to this if you can at @deadinkbookshop.bsky.social tomorrow, lids. Matt's a great writer, a top bloke and the lynchpin of the England Writers FC footy team. A literary event, couple of pints along Smithdown, what's not to like, like?

In case you needed any further evidence he is crackers.

Cape Verde. Wales.

If you still have a Twitter account, delete it.

Oof.

If you could please do us a favour and RT (or whatever it is on here) my writing CV I would be extremely grateful. I am a very capable writer of words, mainly “humorous”’ and if you have some PROPER paid work for me, please DM me. Thank you for your time www.mathew-owen.co.uk

In the 2010s, this country's elites were thrown onto social platforms with everyone else and could finally read what we all think about them and it caused them so much psychic damage that they decided to destroy both the internet and democracy to make sure nothing like it ever happened again.

The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner Up Your Arse

A good news story for a change. Hope the cunt suffered terribly in his final moments.

Introduced the boys to the greatest film of all time last week, fortunately they liked it so I didn't need to kick them out on the street.

88 years to the day since Oswald Mosley got his fascist kite rearranged with a load of bricks when he foolishly tried to flog fascism to Liverpool. Remember, violence against Nazis is always entirely justified. #bashthefash

Another one for the bucket list. To stand on the edge of a large crowd, throw a pastéis de nata and see how many heads i can skim it off.

Prancing like a tit.

Yes, yes I know I keep banging on about my fucking book! However, if you want one repost this and I’ll do a random winner pick thing by the end of the week because I’m great like that. ♥️📚 #amindofmyown

This has got to be the shittest ventriloquist's dummy act ever.

My new ambition in life is to walk into a casino with handfuls of Oreo and ginger cream biscuits, place them down at the roulette table and say, 'everything on black, my good man.'

Morning.

Unsuccessful in the ticket ballot yet again. What a fucking surprise.

HOPE not hate condemn the appalling, violent attack at a synagogue in Manchester which has taken place on Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar. Our thoughts are with the Jewish community and all affected.

There are already way too many podcasts featuring middle-aged white blokes waxing lyrical about obscure indie/alternative albums. So I'm going to start my own.

Not sure why I put Feb, it's clearly in October.

An event for your diaries, lids. My chum and England Writers FC teammate @arealmattgreene.bsky.social at @deadinkbooks.bsky.social @deadinkbookshop.bsky.social Smithdown Road on 15th Feb. As skilled on the page as he is in the EWFC midfield. deadinkbookshop.com/products/the...

Still would, to be honest.

academy award contending tiktok

Fuck's sake he's going after Weird @alyankovic.bsky.social now? The man is out of control..

This is what these fuckers are up to.

A scroll through the replies to this is well worth a few minutes of your time.

Fucking hell, honestly expected better of Bill Burr. I'd say Marc Maron sums it up nicely.

He's quite relaxed.

Don't get my pieces into the print editions all that often, so always nice to be able to read them the old fashioned way.

Just getting ready to pose for my compulsory UK ID photo.

About fucking time, lad.

This fucking Tory slaphead. An in-depth piece about the supposed suppression of freedom of speech that mentions Connelly, 'Tommy Robinson' etc but ignores Palestine Action. Fucking joke. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Football's new coke habit. My piece in @thenewworldmag.bsky.social . www.thenewworld.co.uk/nathan-ohaga...

Grealish isn't gonna get half the free kicks he used to get now he's playing for us is he ?