Am I losing my mind or are they blurring all the backgrounds in the new version of Scrubs? Did they do that in the original? It’s super disorienting for me. I can’t stop paying attention to it.

It’s real telling that the only place I get insulted for my appearance is Facebook. Not that I care, I could give two fucks, but it really illustrates how mold grows… and is near impossible to get rid of.

I’m still unemployed so I can’t help financially but I can spread the word. I don’t know her but anyone not poisoned by the cult running this country is a friend of mine. Be kind, that’s all we really have left of value in this world.

Hawt

The moon looking like the sun over Lake Winnebago

Turkish Star Wars had EVERYTHING.

What is the the best love song in your opinion? My answer: a tie between Lynyrd Skynyrd’s I Need You and The xx’s Angels.

I love it when my vibe matches the reason they named me (Samantha)

Here’s my impression of @stephenking.bsky.social’s Oscar-winning classic Misery

If you live in a country where you can’t hope for a sitting president to be ousted from office using an image of seashells, but people that stormed the capitol and destroyed government property are pardoned and rewarded for their criminal behavior, you don’t live in free country.

Pretty sure

Many years ago, I saw exactly one episode of Breaking Bad and thought it would be funny to change my Gmail signature… …and completely forgot about it until the fateful day I realized I've been sending out e-mails with “Chili P” as my signature for years. Don't change settings as a joke, friends.

every day is one day closer to the day it finally happens

“Sleepless in Mar-a-Lago” A story by: your favorite Samantha Donald ran his thick fingers through his sparse tendrils as a cool April breeze wafted across the Truman Balcony and called for his servant boy. “JD, help me out of my shoes. My dogs are barking.”

According to MyFitnessPal’s new “AI Coach,” I have to eat 80 cups of cottage cheese and 25 whole chickens a day to lose weight.

I’m finding out it may have been weird that my mom would give me empty medication bottles to play with, and I would give them names and roles (like the big ones were the parents and the smaller ones were kids and dogs).

What are the chances I will visit home (NYC) before Isa Briones leaves the Just In Time cast? I would love to see her as Connie Francis. I LOVE Connie Francis and I love Isa on The Pitt.

Mlem

I feel like maybe she could move to the couch upstairs

I have such a sexy partner. I’m spoiled.

What’s the best alternative to Gmail because it’s becoming ass.

Wondering if the new restaurant in town knows the connotation

I love Marc Maron, and there are really close seats available in Madison, but I can't justify $250 a seat while I'm unemployed. How I wish it was at Comedy on State.

After years of me pestering L&B and Goldbelly, they finally have my favorite pizza… when I can't eat it. I'm cursed.

I hate commercials and skip them all the time, but the notorious Gruber Law Firm guy has a commercial where he’s all “we could all use a break nowadays” and it’s just 30 seconds of puppies. Brilliant marketing.

What I ordered, what I got. 🤣 How would I have known? Oh, Instacart.

Random memory. My grandma once told me Mama Cass died eating a ham sandwich and then made me a ham and cheese sandwich.

Pro Tip: Don’t name your devices after silly internet memes/videos, because eventually you’ll have the cable guy in your house and he’ll ask you to change settings. My Xbox’s name is “TheOlDickTwist.”

Him: Wtf is ultra filtered milk? Me: Milk filtered by the government. MilK Ultra. (I think I’m hilarious)

Ben vetoed me getting this on the back of my neck

My Ziggy doesn't have great news. I've heard so many things this week. He definitely has a Mast Cell Tumor, possible lymphoma (inconclusive, positive, then no evidence? Nobody seems to know definitively) and his spleen in 30x the size and his liver is enlarged per the other doc, I'm broken.

The MyFitnessPal “Meal Planner” must not be proofing their recipes or just grabbing them off websites and not paying attention. It “planned” a 1400 calorie dinner for me with more carbs and fat than I’m supposed to eat a day. So, what, I’m supposed to suck air the rest of the day? /Exaggerating

Is it normal to scream at someone because you express something hurts your feelings? Asking for a friend.

I accidentally Erika Kirked my eyebrows

I made a shake from pistachio milk, chocolate milkshake protein powder, and chocolate collagen powder, for a “Dubai style chocolate shake” so I can fool myself into thinking its a special treat 😂

Is this “Midwest Nice”? Don’t tell me Wisconsin isn’t racist and bigoted.

Goddamn I’m an excellent cook

I never get feedback when I ask for it from a potential employer who rejected me. Today someone did. I’m floored. She told me optimizing for ATS is a joke and “super stupid” and to ignore that advice and stop immediately. I literally paid a guy to rewrite my resume and he told me to do this.

Beautiful outlook, but damn that’s sad

This literally caused an anxiety attack but it was more because of the hot water making me faint and I didn’t know it could do that rather than not being able to beg out.

No answers yet. Said pus came out of one lump and may be a thyroid issue. Hilarious if true. He’s really MY dog. I have a thyroid tumor too.

If everyone in Fond du Lac County chipped in $119.05, we could own the Retlaw as a community. Lol.

I love her and her response. That song and that movie was beautiful. How can you not enjoy KPop Demon Hunters?

I don't want to give myself false hope but today, after 3 rounds of antibiotics, Ziggy’s enlarged lymph nodes seem to be shrinking. I read that it wouldn't be immediate, so hopefully this continues and tomorrow’s FNA doesn't reveal more cancer. How much more does this poor dog have to go through?

Death by snow snow Credit: @getlefty.bsky.social

21 days, 17 pounds down. Since they say it takes 21 days to form a habit, and this is the longest I've ever stuck to a diet, I think I may have actually formed a good habit for once.

I'm so neurotically obsessed with this dog’s care I found “healing frequency” music for dogs and I don't care how fuckin stupid that sounds.

Today I learned if you add a tablespoon of nutritional yeast to two eggs, it becomes a plate.

Watch me suffer for health

The perfect eggschange