Tonight is the last show for Stephen Colbert. Let's all watch to give him the biggest ratings ever. CBS will die tonight after his final show. You know what to do.

Guys what should I do for my birthday

Would it be cheaper to just buy the card, or go to the print shop

hot take: throwing books away is bad. even though free libraries are often stocked with conservative propaganda. at least take the book home and use the pages to roll joints

Taco bell got me up for the cantina pizza and I still gotta wait TWO DAYS

The first thing Virginia Spanberger did after being sworn in as Governor of Virginia was repeal Youngkin’s executive order requiring state and local law enforcement to cooperate with ICE. This is the kind of leadership Democratic governors nationwide should be emulating.

I need invisible ear plugs

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Mamdani for President 💥

Yes, everything is now attention based, it started with trends and ads said YES let's do THAT and now the Superbowl ads don't hit the same, and ads in general are straight dogshit

“We live in a homophobic society…if you think there are not more gay players in the NFL, Major League Baseball, and the NBA, you’re just stupid” - Charles Barkley saying the quiet part out loud. I fuckin cried. god bless him and Jason Collins.

What do I gotta do to stop pissing

On a real note what has joe been up to, I worry about him

*the United States is responsible

I'm just a guy trying to figure shit out dawg. I know what's right and what's wrong but what's going to move us all forward

My bio says I'm a part-time diplomacy-mongerer because I want things to work out

Anti-Semitism is starting to get really fucking scary cuz like I really don't like what Israel is doing in the name of Judaism but like I know the Jews wouldn't do shit like this! would they? Would they come on man?

Sometimes you just gotta bury your face in the pillows and violently jerk off

Made this comic

To whoever called me the n word hard R today while I was biking across the street You must be blind as a bat with that broken ass headlight I'm just as much of a cracker as you are, but at least I have the dignity to look my enemy in the face when calling them something they are not

Let me rephrase this: The best thing I've ever done online is getting offline

It's time to shoot him

I fixed the headline to make it accurate:

Help should be free But everyone wants something in return 🙄🙄🙄

If ai is gonna be garbage the least they could do is make it free

That is a pedo ass request yo Saying it's okay for minors to use tanning beds is like saying you're okay with a grown ass man reading books to children, stop with the bullshit

the setup is fire guys i woulds atatcha photo but im on my laptop rn and its so lit hol up

🔥🧊

no, I don't have a favorite "star war." personally, I'm more interested in "star peace"

Mfs be like: literally 1984 1983:

Literally 1738 (1984)

tim heidecker drinks the blood of the forsaken youtu.be/Exu1SEZE9Ug

ive watched this part like a dozen times now

Just found out Shawshank redemption was shot in Ohio. I am sad

Bro, my grandma used to watch The view because she liked Whoopi Goldberg. Now I watch The view because I don't trust any other news source.

Y'all really gotta try standing on the toilet sometime, it's great

Joyless Luck Club 🤭

DOWN WITH Y'ALL-QAEDA

Brunch w/ my gurl [Bell pepper, onion, jalapenos, spam and kielbasa chunks, purple cabbage and seasonings, topped with scrambled egg]