Nietzsche used to take big doses of chloral hydrate and be out of it for AGES. If any of my friends had been around, he would NOT have got to keep that big-ass moustache, that's all I'm saying Or maybe it would have been glued onto his eyebrows instead

H*A*S*H #breakfasttvshows #HashtagGames

This weekend's #AmperSand, from the rocky shore at Barns Ness, in East Lothian. #AmperSand #BeachArt #lettering

Yang Ptang Cillitbang #cleaningmoviesorplays #HashtagGames

I'm just lying on my bed wondering who is putting their bins out at this time of night and then I realized it's the sound of my sinuses draining You're welcome

The most remarkable thing about all of this is that despite being chased around the garden (twice), cornered, scruffed, the steak extraction and being shouted at, Tiki knows I would never hurt him and is not at all afraid of me. He just thinks the shouting was a bit rude.

ER Doctor: So we got your troponin results back. Have you done anything unusually stressful or vigorous in the last six to eight hours? Me: Does that include cats?

So I'm ferrying groceries from the car into the house. As I come out for the second load I am surprised to see #tikithethief fleeing the scene with a small piece of steak. Since it's my dinner I let out a roar and give chase. There follow two laps of the garden with Mr. Cat pausing to get a […]

The most remarkable thing about all of this is that despite being chased around the garden (twice), cornered, scruffed, the steak extraction and being shouted at, Tiki knows I would never hurt him and is not at all afraid of me. He just thinks the shouting was a bit rude.

ER Doctor: So we got your troponin results back. Have you done anything unusually stressful or vigorous in the last six to eight hours? Me: Does that include cats?

So I'm ferrying groceries from the car into the house. As I come out for the second load I am surprised to see #tikithethief fleeing the scene with a small piece of steak. Since it's my dinner I let out a roar and give chase. There follow two laps of the garden with Mr. Cat pausing to get a […]

Rudy Giuliani pioneered performative law (where you say one thing in front of the press on the courtroom steps, and another thing entirely in front of the judge) So I can't help but wonder if he'll crack performative dying. Will there be a doctor in there going "I don't get it. Just a minute […]

I don't know who made this, but I definitely like their train of thought.

When I was eight we learned about preying mantises at school in Ireland and I was like Whoa! So weird! Well I'm never going to see one of those! I would love to go back in time and tell 8yo me that I would move to New Zealand where every autumn would be a battle […] [Original post on beige.party]

I just know that if I was walking on the surface of Mars, alone, my tinnitus would act up and I would hallucinate the sound of an ice cream van

This story made my jaw drop https://www.reddit.com/r/StoriesAboutKevin/comments/118nxqd/he_wants_to_dna_test_her_kids/

I have reluctantly come to the conclusion that I can either play 'sunless skies' all day or i can get things done, but not both

The Troll Bridges of Madison County #trollabookorplay #HashtagGames

And we're expected to believe that the top speed of your average cat, ladies and gentlemen, is approximately the same as the top speed of your average dog, so that they can have these exciting chases but never actually get into a scrap? They're having a laugh ladies and gentlemen, that's what […]

I just saw the most amazingly corporate expression of "we did what the bosses wanted us to do, even though the research didn't support that." The actual phrase was: > The research employed a methodology that prioritized stakeholder voice over researcher interpretation. I wonder if a data […]

And we're expected to believe that the top speed of your average cat, ladies and gentlemen, is approximately the same as the top speed of your average dog, so that they can have these exciting chases but never actually get into a scrap? They're having a laugh ladies and gentlemen, that's what […]

Our adult kids having a convo this morning on the group chat about housecleaning and I think I'm pretty funny:

If you walk into a pharmacy to collect your prescription and your surname happens to be Farmer, you may need to say more than the single word 'Farmer' when you walk up to the counter. It confuses us #pharmacy

If you walk into a pharmacy to collect your prescription and your surname happens to be Farmer, you may need to say more than the single word 'Farmer' when you walk up to the counter. It confuses us #pharmacy

Ok so a bunch of stoners come up with a genius insurance scam involving one of them dressing up in a bear suit. My favorite part is that one of them - faced with video evidence, confessions from his co-defendants and seizure of the actual bear suit - is STILL going with 'not guilty' 🤣🤣🐻🤣 […]

Tomorrow's Southern Hemisphere plan: 1. Make a pile out of all the warm fluffy things in the house 2. Add cats to top of pile 3. Burrow into middle of pile with a packet of biscuits

I worry that tiny birds might get cold feet

Chat GPT what can I do to make this conflict worse

A severe weather warning from Ishi. As in, open the door please - the weather is severe, so i must watch it It's #caturday somewhere

Terry Pratchett would have written a Discworld novel where a nazi regime rises in Ankh Morpork right about now. I feel that it would have been a Vimes novel. #terrypratchett

I'm going to miss people sneering at my Nissan Leaf

My Easter books cartoon for @theguardian.com

@tomgauld.bsky.social Jackson Lamb: eats noodles slurpily and enjoys the look of disgust on Diana Taverner's face while he has River running all over London being shot at, before revealing he's had the eggs in his dirty sock drawer the whole time

Taking a moment to appreciate the corrugated sound made when my cat rapidly shakes his head in response to an itchy ear. About six ear flaps in just over half a second I reckon. Someone ought to do a doctorate, spend years deliberately tickling the ear hairs of strange cats #cats

Oh yeah! I forgot, it's Fuck Neurotypicals month. Creepy fucks.

The guy with the camera? Naw man he cool, he work for me just spottin for the the law, man #caturday #catnip

If you feel like your life is off kilter, like you just can't get back on the beat -do what the professionals do. Turn around and follow the drummer

I am 59 years old and have changed maybe a dozen smoke detector batteries in my life. Every single one of them has been in the middle of the night, including 4am last night. Is this universal, or is it a fucking conspiracy? #smokedetectors

Research shows that painting eyes on take-out containers stops seagulls from stealing food https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2026/apr/01/specieswatch-eyes-on-takeaway-boxes-stop-gulls-stealing-chips #gulls #chips #takeout #fishandchips

I love that the Artemis II crew includes the first Canadian to go on a lunar mission, which means that when the on board toilet system developed a fault EVERYONE HAD TO BE POLITE ABOUT IT #artemis2 #canadians

Research shows that painting eyes on take-out containers stops seagulls from stealing food https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2026/apr/01/specieswatch-eyes-on-takeaway-boxes-stop-gulls-stealing-chips #gulls #chips #takeout #fishandchips

#moviereview I'm sorry to report that you probably shouldn't bother watching "Hamnet." Because you will cry so hard you will need to take electrolytes, and no other film will seem adequate for the next ten years, and you no longer will believe that Meryl Streep is the best actress ever. A+++++ […]

I am 59 years old and have changed maybe a dozen smoke detector batteries in my life. Every single one of them has been in the middle of the night, including 4am last night. Is this universal, or is it a fucking conspiracy? #smokedetectors

Many people a saying this. Experts included. The government coalition still refuses to listen though. Free public transport the fuel crisis response that makes sense - Newsroom https://newsroom.co.nz/2026/03/27/free-public-transport-the-fuel-crisis-response-that-makes-sense/ #fossilfools […]

[My Comedic Inspiration, Revealed] :bloody_c:​ :bloody_r:​ :bloody_i:​ :bloody_p:​ :bloody_p:​ :bloody_l:​ :bloody_i:​ :bloody_n:​ :bloody_g:​ :bloody_m:​ :bloody_e:​ :bloody_n:​ :bloody_t:​ :bloody_a:​ :bloody_l:​ :bloody_i:​ :bloody_l:​ :bloody_l:​ :bloody_n:​ :bloody_e:​ :bloody_s:​ :bloody_s:​

There are more than a hundred craft beers within reach of this spot. I am currently drinking a chocolate orange stout and think I may be dreaming Marchfest26 #whakatunelson #newzealand

If you feel like your life is off kilter, like you just can't get back on the beat -do what the professionals do. Turn around and follow the drummer

Oh goddamn, RIP Nicholas Brendon. Not an easy life.

Montse 🍉 (@lamonze.bsky.social) https://bsky.app/profile/lamonze.bsky.social/post/3mhhrya2nq22w > Jo crec que els catalans fem part del 10%