Spent NYE with some good friends. Snacks, chat and two hours of rustic Azerbaijani cooking videos in which nobody says a single word. Happy New Year everyone!

@thomasbeagle How are your espaliered trees coming along? I finally got my first cherry tree tied up but I chickened out of trying to fan the persimmon in favour of a small-tree pruning regime

This time last year, Nosferaddington dropped in cinemas

Still wishing i knew Mackenzie Crook so that we could hang out together in a field for six hours during which we would exchange about a dozen words #detectorists

Welp I'm back on topiramate for migraines and it's giving me some parasthesia (abnormal sensations). Closest I can come to explaining is to say that it feels like my head is in a big fizzy bag and it makes me feel stupid. The headaches have almost stopped, so now I need to find another excuse […]

Screw you guys, I'm going home #peacocks

Today I am "I swear to God there is a point to this story, stick with me" years old

Hi everyone, I wanna tell you about a really cool #trans person I’ve learned about recently - Wendy Carlos. (Thread: 1/3) Carlos was born in 1939 and is currently 86 years old. She helped develop the first ever commercial #synthesizer, Moog, in 1964. She […] [Original post on hachyderm.io]

Franchised Peas #businessaband #HashtagGames

If the pandemic taught me nothing else, it taught me that the ideal interval between social interactions is about six weeks

I never really got a handle on things this year. Wandered the retail wasteland; ended up bunging up a Christmas tree at half past midnight Christmas morning. Didn't get around to opening presents until half past nine at night, by which time I was too knackered to be excited about very much […]

May you all have a day that is pleasant and free from trauma. It's really not too much to ask. On the other hand, may Donnie have the sort of Christmas that involves trying to grab the desk on the way down. #trump #uspol

May your walk in the Eternal Forest be a short one. Stay on the path. Take nothing, leave nothing, and walk always towards summer.

I know a few people on here as well as myself will FEEL this cartoon.

#catfood flavors #cats would choose FLESH OF THE UNWARY . . . To see the older ones, search from:@Hedgewizard #catfood

The White House announces that the Epstein files will be renamed the Trump Epstein files.

I'm trying to explain to Ishi that I do not want a cat on my lap at the moment - any cat - and he is genuinely perplexed. This has not happened before, and he's pretty sure I'm simply not understanding his perfectly reasonable request

We trained our model on your emails last night We captured screenshots of your banking website And though our surveys say you don't want AI That doesn't matter, your consent is implied For we've got a brand new AI interface You can use for free You know you can […] [Original post on beige.party]

It just occurred to me I can use rice flour and a pastry brush to dust the cooktop for prints like a '70s detective and whaddaya know, the cat did it #cats

My beloved is helping former refugees to settle here in New Zealand. This week it's a lovely family from Myanmar. I was absolutely with them... right up until the moment when Shen said she didn't trust potatoes

Meowopathy (n.): a sudden loss of muscle power, particularly of the leg, caused by standing on something that might or might not be part of a cat. Sufferers generally make a full recovery once they have cursed the cat toy/balled up sock/felted Christmas ornament that caused the incident, but […]

Thank you, Fedi, for being sufficiently interesting for me to miss my bus stop and earn myself a long walk home tonight. Gosh darn your stimulating conversation all to heck! #fediverse #Mastodon

“Rural America knows the truth long before the rest of the country feels it. Nothing collapses all at once. It just stops working in small places first while everyone else calls it local hardship. That’s why wood banks—like a food bank but for fuel—are important. They’re the clearest sign that […]

When I'm on the edge of a migraine my tolerance for stimulus goes way, way down. Just now other people's thoughts and intruding on mine and it's making me cranky. (This is mostly a noise thing but people externalize their thinking in all sorts of ways and I have just been exposed to some pretty […]

I was just thinking that RFK Jr looked like something someone has drawn in congealed gravy, when it finally occurred to me why he looks so familiar #uspol #rfkjr #dogma

What working in pharmacy feels like in December

I am brimming with holiday spirit

Ugh. Woke from one of those dreams where there's some long-ago you, some now you, and some stuff that you don't even recognize but which is clearly supposed to be a version of you. It took me about fifteen minutes to establish that a) I had been asleep b) I was now awake, and c) Reassemble my […]

It’s going to be lovely to visit my family in the UK soon but packing really triggers my procrastination issues. Avoid, avoid, avoid! The paralysis does my head in. #AdHd.

Gone away is the bluebird Here to stay is the new bird ALL HAIL THE NEW BIRD ALL HAIL ALL HAIL FEAR THE NEW BIRD FOR HE IS ETERNAL YOUR BLUEBIRD CANNOT SAVE YOU NOW

Big news. SMBC is expanding into the romance genre

I'm unreasonably excited to get these!

I'd like to get with the beat with quote posts but Tusky still isn't supporting them. Is it coming, or can someone recommend a different client? #askfedi

:bc: Attention Beige Party-goers! :bc: We are overdue for a Mastodon update so I will be upgrading us to version 4.5.2 this Friday evening/Saturday morning, depending on where you live. This will be a major upgrade because we are moving from 4.4 to 4.5, so I am scheduling the maintenance window […]

You always hurt the ones you love, largely because no-one else will hold still for long enough

tāne: man, husband, god of forests and of birds

#overheard at work yesterday: a co-worker accidentally knocked over a stock bottle, sending a load of stuff sliding to the ground. CW: (Aloud) Fucker! You're not as stable as you look. (Whispered) But then, neither am I

Bought some Kong catnip spray and now I have a tool that makes the cats beat each other up. Bwaahaha

Here's to Philip, the most random of my random bunch of friends. I once lost Phillip in a completely empty unfurnished three-bedroom house, locked from the inside, although I did find his clothes in a neatly folded pile. He also briefly kidnapped my firstborn and all of my worldly possessions […]

When I was a kid and saw broken glass ending up ignored by the side of the road, I thought that by the time I was an adult there would be tiny shards everywhere from all the cumulative broken bottles etc. I was clearly wrong, so what happens to all those razor sharp pieces of glass? #askfedi

nz government recently banned puberty blockers, but only for transgender youth. please support this petition to reverse this! […]

I want to live in the universe where Meta discovered its products were harmful and, instead of halting and burying the study, reengineered them to be a positive influence. In that universe, five minutes a day on Facebook became a soothing, life-confirming boost that sent users back into the […]

SCIENCE FACT. A dog gets more factual information from sniffing another dog's arsehole than a human gets from reading the Reform UK manifesto.

Why the hell not, Alice?

I don't know, I keep waiting for the adults to come home at the White House. Feel like all Mango Mussolini's people should be scrambling to make it look like they've been in bed the whole time #uspol

My strategy for the weekend https://youtube.com/shorts/X8DcGtVHPs8?si=GFPJ6_1JZo9Het50

Cat: outside outside Me: i’m not supposed to let you outside Cat: *floomp* I pay with belly rub! Me: oh i forgot to clean your litter box, okay you go outside Cat: *zoom* Me: cleans litterbox Cat: inside inside inside! Me: done already? Cat: *beelines for litterbox* Oh thank Bast, I nearly had […]

Thankful.. but for