mmmmilk duct blockage nation

coring a vial on the final draw

oh? it's tummy tuesday? name three women over 250 lbs who make you squirt effusively

broth day gotta be the best day of my week

guy with a “hiking fetish”

alt boy in the southpole button up making my dick hard

mapo tofu pussy

wait i thought the rapture was happening tomorrow

at the grocery store all the cashiers call me “the girl who is always cooking something yummy”

my nuts havent been this sore since my first year on e

spicy crayfish til i die

reality tv argument bleeds feels like the quintessential wednesday guitar riff

rapture means i don’t have to go to work on thursday, yeah?

using a sick day to charge my vibrator

incantation of minor liquid production

sucks ass living in the failed megachurch ethnostate

big bulging eyes like frogs in the hands of boyhood???

theres too many blocked field goals

more importantly, i purchased five pounds of summer carrots at the market

my tranny ass persists. the same can not be said for my foes who continue to drop anvils on their own heads

cargo pants with a decorative rose where the butthole is

they should let me fuck the blob

if the suburban american spent the energy and vitriol that they otherwise direct towards the outdoor cat, we could finally end fascism

now i am become ass, the eater of boyshorts

i love when middle aged men say “i’m above the drama” like no u aren’t bitch, u ARE the drama

dude i love not being able to use my clinic’s pharmacy on saturdays bc they use the lot for college football parking

i’ve been reading the lord of the rings for the first time in uhhhh 23 years and i really hope we get closure on the fate of bill the pony bc my mind just cannot remember

3 sided longsleeve ragana tee kinda day

ishallnotsearchthefobiddenname

stoned in an ancient elven library asking a spider where the yaoi is

u don’t adopt a cat for companionship. u adopt a cat to have a minion that follows through on orders 3% of the time

i gotta start buying the really big bag of rice

gone are the days of fucked up left leg injections

don’t mind me, just eating a delicious pear

a decent pear is better than the best apple

what an insane rule of three

today’s a wash. guess i’ll just drink coffee and read yuri in bed

like do u think she tried to fuck the corpse? do u think they had the emergency sperm retrieval kit?

why

super ghoulper

rips

really need the tgirl that delivers pastries to the store i work at to get the hint that i don’t want to flirt with her

i’ve been fucking around

captain planet derangement syndrome

bajoran benjamin horne

fuck valencia oranges