me and desperately wanting surgeries i can't afford and everyone says i don't need cause I'm so pretty already, name a better combo

remember when Boris Johnson was prime minister and every scandal that happened was met with a "X is a dead cat story. they want you focusing on this instead of the real thing which is Y"from the commentariat? feels like the Americans are basically doing that now and I'm very bored with it

good news for haters of overfertilisation and european soil erosion

fyi if we're moots on bsky there's about a 90% chance if you're in the area and want to meet up, I will jump at the opportunity because that's something I have never once regretted yet

first thing I put on to test my new headphones and HOLY SHIT

great, well done me, I've made myself feel awful about my face in what can only be described as an unforced error. I should simply not ever think about these things

I'm so fucking impatient I need to be leaving now, not in roughly half an hour. I'm dying from a lack of entertainment

We need to bring back the distinction between “legit” and “fake” punk rock, because years of poptimisim have eroded the traditional right of passage of being ashamed of the shit you were into when you first discovered the genre.

think I'm gradually morphing into a londoner, like a diamond is formed under extreme pressure. Today I described an hour's journey on public transport as "pretty short"

Best part of having a full time job isn't actually getting paid enough to live. it's actually not having to see americans posting about their politics for at least the first half of my day

I might have limitless top energy but a stern eastern european woman could tell me to do anything she wanted and I would perform to the best of my abilities

I firmly believe sonic youth's guitars weren't stolen, they just couldn't remember all the tunings so they staged that whole thing

banning horse racing isn't enough. we need to ban horses and the people who like them

i have turned off the HVAC and disabled the web interface. your move, building management

I'm so fucking hungry, maybe my lactose intolerance has been cured

turned the thermostat up a degree and building management walked in almost immediately with a walkie talkie to turn it down. what the fuck

going to kill whoever set up my fresh right under the air con vents for the third job running. I'm always fucking cold and my throat hurts

remember when every other account on here was turning their social media presence into a brand on here? maybe it's best that bsky dies so I can make some cold hard cash on the next platform and fund surgeries without a fundraiser or any of that pesky savings stuff that vanishes every year in crises

these things are like cyanide capsules but for making me feel really awful just after lunch, thereby shitting on company time

there's a fox fucking outside my window, I think i need a kimono and a cricket bat

dies irae is kinda horny when you really think about it

might just fuck around and fuck around

maybe i need to lower my dose just a tiny little bit cause as sad as i was yesterday, that's how deliriously upbeat i am today

look I only stole the emperor's new clothes because I look better in them ok?

sorry guy outside my office only women get to compliment me on my hair

ok, hopefully I'll be fixing the sources of all my stress in the next week or so. that'd be really nice!

gone are the days of james theycaster, my longest running social experiment, where I let @amnestria.bsky.social ghostwrite my jokes is over.

a pint of freddos would be £5.40, what do you mean this country's expensive? seems perfectly reasonable to me

I'm the sole member of my team in the office today and they're asking me to do actual shit. worrying. if you notice large scale disruptions today it's probably my fault

after fucking WEEKS of updating me on the progress of letting me move into a shared flat this fucking bunch of cunts have collectively decided not to go ahead with it anyway without so much as letting me know why even though they're all moving out anyway.

you should read this because I did!

i could never go to space. it's probably hell for your bangs and no hairspray allowed

don't know why i thought I was special and could do this easily. starting to think i shouldn't have left everything i know behind even if i fucking hated all of it. I'm just fucking lost and failing to so much as find a place to rent, let alone build any kind of life for myself.

The constant pressure of being visible and the worry about being clocked and outed at work is like torture. And I'm one of the lucky ones. Transitioned before this job, people don't know/care I'm trans, keep my head down. But the EHRC thing means one complaint could essentially ruin my life.

can't. fucking. sleep. I think I'm cursed today or something

things are not going well right now and it's my own stupid fault on all counts

chat, should I touch these

might pivot to being a gimmick account with the gimmick being that I'm astonishingly Normal from now on

yay I get to do a silly certificate for incredibly niche software next month that has very little to do with my day to day job but will possibly provide me with new career opportunities

GOOD NEWS my new camera has broken

about to go and take some pics of tall buildings to take my mind off the horrors

one of those days where every stray glance from a stranger sets off a paranoia spiral apparently

this morning I overslept, fucked up my makeup, lost my glasses, forgot my handbag and then my phone. in many ways I wish the world had ended last night

there's a guy wearing headphones walking a poodle on my commute screaming plastic Bertrand lyrics immensely off key. possibly the only obviously sane person I've encountered in this city so far

girl who counts the bruises on her body, humming silly little tunes to herself as she hugs her blahaj close with her other arm

very funny how this can be true while I'm also feeling deliriously happy about other things going on in my life right now tbh but I'm allowed to contain multitudes i suppose

hope some of my self-confidence comes back when I'm actually settled in somewhere. I miss feeling at ease and happy, as opposed to panicky and vaguely sad almost all the time.

work done, face lasered. I'm so relieved it's done with for another month. I'm hoping this is going to be the last few times it's ever bad enough that I start to fall apart mentally

while I don't think trump is actually planning to nuke anybody it's definitely interesting knowing some of what it felt like to live through the 50s and 60s threat of nuclear apocalypse

oxygen, water, food, a roof over my head also i cannot be killed