at its core, the deeply irrational Conservative hatred of JT is rooted in his ability to get laid

The dweeb in the I Bet On Us, You? t-shirt needs to sit the fuck down at a minimum, and in an ideal world, drink an entire bottle of bleach

So we all just gonna gloss over the fact that Colonel Sanders is a.) at the Dome tonight, and b.) Blue Jays fan?

Every time he threatens a trade war, we score 10 more runs

Sorry, you tried to beat the 2025 Toronto Blue Jays? At BASEBALL?!

Hey tell me more about Goliath…

Mustaches have become the clearest signifier that a man was born after 2000

This could be the historic World Series where a broadcaster finally describes the raucous crowd using a word other than “electric”!

At what point are we gonna update history books to accurately reflect how Russia won the Cold War?

Can’t wait for the SkyDome to give Blake Trienen and Clayton Kershaw the full Anthony Bass treatment!

Gonna be a real treat/adjustment for visiting Dodgers’ writers/fans to leave the SkyDome and not be bombarded by Secret Police

Advice to ticket scalpers: Un-alive yourselves, you irredeemable pieces of human shit!

Literally the only good thing to come from the Nationals necromancing the Expos‘ uniforms is that this is now officially MLB canon:

Wild that Chauncey Billups didn’t just sweep this under the rug by letting the mob kill his dad

CANADIAN SPORTS MEDIA CHALLENGE: Find a synonym for ‘Electric’

What branch of Canadian government funds 911 service and why is so fucking understaffed?

My childhood hero going to the World Series with my favourite team. Not quite how I drew it up in 1988 but I’ll take it.

Oh hey that murder confession was off-the-record, btw

A lot of Toronto actors who’ve made moving to LA their whole identity, have some tough choices to make this week

Last night the Blue Jays officially won: - The AL Pennant - The 1977 Expansion - John Olerud

Last time you threatened our sovereignty, we burned down your White House. This time we’re just taking your World Series and we’re not giving it back.

Josh Naylor you never told me you were a huge piece of shit?!

My ONLY issue with Vladdy rocking a Matthews jersey is the fact that Vladdy is a Montrealer and some allegiances are immutable

Welp, game 7 is here and there’s not much we can do now except believe in our beefy boys and the power of friendship. #BlueJays

Keep your goddamned raisins out of my cookies.

my metaphors are like Porky Pig in a boxing ring: ham fisted

I like this idea so much I’m quote posting myself

You know she really stands behind this sentiment because comments are turned off.

Is… is Kim Kardashian selling merkins because so many women lasered their pubes off permanently?

Who’s solving the Louvre robbery? Right answers only.

Wild that the Jays are literally playing to go to the World Series tonight and we’re all supposed to just go to work and have a normal day

A modest propsal: *if* MLB won’t give Montreal an expansion team, then bring the Expos back as a AAA affiliate of the Jays. Streamline the allegiances.

The #BlueJays John Schneider is exactly, and I mean EXACTLY, how I envision the character of Mike Schwartz from The Art of Fielding. I mean fucking *exactly*

“Over there? Is that where my dignity went?“

Sorry, 7 million of you are out in the street and you’re not just taking back the the WH?

Listen, I don’t ever want to go back to way things used to be, BUT! There’s no earthly reason we can’t have more media depicting dogs wearing sunglasses.

“"55 BURGERS, 55 FRIES, 55 TACO, 55 PIES, 55 COKES..."

Women don’t like the vehicle.

When The Great ICE Reckoning inevitably happens, an excuse you’ll hear from 95% of them will be “i needed the money.” So the fuck what? Everyone needs money. This is not a valid excuse, and it never will be.

I don’t like it, but if Cathal Kelly’s incorrigible cuntery is the Jays‘ new good luck charm, so be it

Never stop doxxing and harassing ICE members until they each suffer complete mental and emotional collapse. Make every second of the rest of their lives a living hell.

QUESTION TO GEN Xers FROM A CURIOUS ELDER MILLENNIAL: Did any of you use “Jack Off Smirnoff“ as an insult, and if not, HOW did you sleep on this obvious opportunity?

Early frontrunner for 2026 Nobel Peace Prize

Spending today contemplating Christopher Columbus‘ mixed legacy of genocide and the Home Alone movies.

Do I need an Ernie Clement jersey? Shut the fuck up I was being rhetorical. Fucking EVERYONE needs an Ernie Clement jersey

Clayton Kershaw is more comfortable at a gay bar during Pride than he is on the mound in the postseason.

The world’s most infectious disease? Loser Stink.

If you have an issue with the way the Yankees are run, take it up with their owner, Vladimir Guerrero Jr.

Fugitive Bryan Fuentes Gramajo is now the Most Wanted Man in Canada. The Least Wanted Man in Canada? For the 46th year in a row, Pierre Poilievre.