Football violence. The permathreat of nuclear annihilation. British Leyland cars. Vesta curries. The Black and White Minstrel Show. The fug of blue fag smoke in the projector's beam at the cinema. Lookshreh!

One, erm, interesting name I haven't seen discussed yet amid this week's flurry of OMG-ness about the Epstein files, but who had extensive email exchanges with the, erm, "disgraced financier" in 2018: Steve Bannon, come on down!

I've just received a convincing-looking-at-first sight chat request ostensibly from the Bluesky Moderation Service, but actually from some random, saying my account has been suspended and telling me to click a link to fix it, which I obvz haven't done. So <SgtEsterhausVoice> be careful out there.

If "blackguard" is pronounced "blaggard", why doesn't a guitar have a piggard? #RiddleMeThis

If "blackguard" is pronounced "blaggard", why doesn't a guitar have a piggard? #RiddleMeThis

That NYC and London both have Muslim mayors isn't really the story. That NYC and London both have mayors who are men, yet again and as always, that's the story. The under-representation of women in top jobs is something we take for granted so much it's a scandal not even worth mentioning, it seems.

Impressive but not a uniquely British phenomenon. South Madrid Airport went bust only three years after it was built. It's been used ever since to store rusting aircraft being sold off for scrap. The vast infrastructure's failure may have something to do with its location: 125 miles south of Madrid.

That's a long time to spend in Cardiff isn't it

"Please do not say 'anymore' any more" -Guardian Style Guide #SaveOurSubs

Yes. See also the "I"-less "love you". Is that an order? Is it compulsory?

There's a vast grey area of what places and things are the Windsors' actual property - i.e., what they'd get to keep if we turfed them out - and those they have exclusive, indefinite usufruct of, but only for as long as they are the royal house. I suspect not even they know for sure.

"Their Majesties wish to make clear that their thoughts and utmost sympathies have been, and will remain with, the victims and survivors of any and all forms of abuse." This is an absolute disgrace. That second comma should go after "remain", not "with". #SaveOurSubs

The latest additions to my mute list are "Cuomo" and "Mamdani" (and I'm someone who doesn't even mute "GBBO" or "TOTP"). Enough.

I must admit I'm finding it hard to keep up with all the twists and turns of the New York mayoral election. Mind you, I'm still struggling to process the Beame-Koch handover. Aren't we all?

Has he ever accused anyone of being "low IQ" who wasn't black or Hispanic? #RhetoricalQuestion

My old school now has a "head of futures" who specialises in "upskilling" Fothering-Thomas Minor with strategies for addressing the further-education challenges to come. In my day we had a woodwork master who'd rap your knuckles with a set square if you ballsed up your spice rack. #CountrysGone

Why abolish the House of Lords when we could demolish it and build a beautiful grand ballroom?

The Nonce, and Future King.

Ah. yes, of course. Balimmoral.

Haaland is a bit absolutely terrifying, isn't he.

I have two firmly held beliefs about refereeing. 1. A foul is a foul wherever it happens. The bar shouldn't be higher for one that would result in a penalty. 2. A yellow-card foul is a yellow-card foul whenever it happens. The bar shouldn't be higher for one that would result in a sending-off.

Contrary to popular belief because of the battle, Cape Trafalgar isn't wild and rocky at all. It barely even qualifies as a cape; it's just a little promontory with golden beaches on either side of it and gently rolling lowlands behind it. It's usually warm and sunny in October (22ºC right now).

I'm struggling to come to terms with my concurrent firmly held views that, on the one hand, sumo wrestling at the Albert Hall is something there should definitely be more of while, on the other, Barcelona playing a league game in Miami is the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it.

If anyone claims Pynchon's novels bear no relation to real life, point to any of these actual things: Four Seasons Total Landscaping fiasco Rudy's rivulets of hair dye South Lawn turned into a Tesla showroom Weirdass names (Elon Musk, Melania Trump) Weirdass acronyms (MAGA, ICE) AI shit-bomb slop

So Disney+ is going up to €16 a month - a 14% hike when inflation here is under 3%? That'll be a fuck right off. Cancelled.

Window that opens onto my fire escape is broken, can't be opened easily. My landlord told me his guy is on vacation; he'll fix it in two weeks. Me: Let's hope I don't die in a fire before then. Bad for both of us. Him: Ah, don't worry about it. No way I'm going to have two buildings burn down.

Ob-Ese-Di, Ob-Ese-Da Flabby Road etc., etc.

Mick Herron has irreversibly jumped the shark with Clown Town. Discuss (without any big spoilers if poss., for anyone yet to read it).

Kowtow to, be cowed by, cower before... just not this. #SaveOurSubs

Because A-levels are exams, and A-level English has "English" in its name, they assume it's a test of English-language proficiency, when in fact its only purpose is to determine whether you can remember whether it was Goneril or Regan who was King Lear's eldest daughter.

radishes any Merchant-Ivory production Send In the Clowns

Me: "I've lived in Spain for the last 37 years. I live, work and socialise exclusively in Spanish. My kids are Spanish. I even mostly dream in Spanish." Also me: "For my tea tonight only beans on crumpets will do."

Hang on. Call me naive but I thought the executive and the judiciary were supposed to be separate powers. Should we even know to which side of the political spectrum judges may lean? Is impartiality now thought to be too quaint* a concept? ___ * If you're American, insert an extraneous "of" here.

Even accepting that classifying of people by skin colour is a bizarre thing to do, it's also arbitrary. I was once in the crowd at a football match when right in front of me on the touchline Thierry Henry was talking to Pep Guardiola. The "black" man had notably lighter skin than the "white" man.

The new Pynchon is astonishingly good. It's a pity he's never really shaken off his early rep of being an impenetrably extravagant writer of hippie tosh when in fact his self-discipline, imagery and plotting - not to mention his ear for the American vernacular - are better than Raymond Chandler's.

I've acquired 20-odd new followers here (hi!) over the last 48 hours and I've no idea why. Anyone else?

Egon Schiele says, "Hold mein bier."

I've nearly finished the new Mick Herron and I can't say I've enjoyed is as much as most of the previous ones. The emotional/stakes arc is all off-kilter. Anyone else?

On TS's new 'un: For pop music to lack soul is forgivable- it's pop music - but for it to lack any memorable hooks, excitement or WTF surprises isn't. It's a well-made record, of course, but it's one that has no reason ever to have been made at all. A cavalcade of meh.

Serious question. If you hear a new pop song on the radio by a female artist, can you tell whether it's Taylor, Olivia, Sabrina or Chappelle without shazamming it? I can't.

Listening to the new Max Martin recor...er I mean new Taylor Swift record. Nice, clean mixes - as usual - by Serban Ghenea but, let's face it, the vocals could have been slapped on top by absolutely anyone. *ducks from the inevitable incoming*

Popbitch: "Jennie changed tact entirely." Good. I've always thought discretion was in need of a makeover. #SaveOurSubs

Riddle me this. If Bezos can sell shit of every kind to millions of people in dozens of countries, while Musk can only sell a few thousand cars that burst into flames and build the odd spaceship that's prone to blowing up, why isn't Bezos the world's richest man and Musk just the new John DeLorean?

Prediction: The Brit Card is going to be the new Ed Stone.

Sibelius died on this day in 1957... but I ain't spendin' any time on it because it's THE DAY I WAS BORN.

I don't really get boycotting Disney+ because the ABC network and the Disney+ platform are both owned by the same megacorporation. It's like cancelling your Old Trafford season ticket because of something the Tampa Bay Buccaneers did wrong.

Schmeichel, Robson, Bruce, Keane, Neville, Scholes, Beckham and Butt don't know what they're talking about. Who the hell are they to question a coach who's been in the country and at the club for ten months and knows what the One True Path for Manchester United must be? Clueless whingers.

"Fergie time" has now officially been renamed "Slotty time".