I am a remorseless eating machine.

Chat, we did the right thing.

I have finally admitted defeat and taken the car in to get checked out. Have a feeling Ferny Christmas will be cancelled this year, folks.

Fuck I love bedtime so much

🚨 Andrew Tate has been BATTERED and comprehensively beaten by a novice boxer, Chase DeMoor

First Jake Paul and now Andrew Tate. This is the most wonderful Christmas I've ever had. What if this is a kind of reverse Harambe event where the tide turns and things become not totally shit again? I shouldn't hope really, it'll only hurt me.

We are tired. So tired.

Chat, what do we think? It's not like, mad long anyway but maybe I'll just chop it off a bit below the shoulders? Like, 4 inches or so.

Capital punishment should be brought back specifically for people who listen to music on loudspeakers in public instead of using headphones. Straight to death row. No appeals.

Suddenly feel an intense urge to cut my hair shorter. I have to question if I'm doing okay mentally because historically that's been a pretty solid indicator of things not being hunky-dory. I think I'm alright though. Is it a midlife crisis?

We need a slur for people that use AI

I want to wish a very happy birthday to @notknz.is.tall.fyi 🩷 She's always really struck me as a genuinely beautiful person, both inside and out. Super considerate and kind-hearted. She's also a top notch meme supplier and my secret bsky crush.

It's not so bad.

Dusted off the cobwebs

Sometimes I play the lottery as a little treat. Not because I expect to win, but because I need the hope.

Just spent 45 minutes writing a massive work email, only to have it vanish after I hit send. It's not in any folders, it just... ceased to exist. Coolcoolcool.

You can just let people be wrong about you. It literally doesn't matter. It's not your responsibility to make sure everyone's perception of you is correct. Just be a good person and let them be wrong. It's chill.

Once in a blue moon, I find myself agreeing with Piers Morgan. Whenever he comes out of a discussion seeming reasonable or even remotely tolerable, you know things are dire. I watched his interview with Fuentes this morning... can we please stop mainstreaming neo-nazis.

Yeah, she's a 10 but she won't stop listening to Dream Weaver by Gary Wright.

Well, the Divinity trailer was really something. I watched it while having breakfast. Mistakes were made.

I don't want to work hard, actually. I didn't consent to being born but now I have to spend the next 30 years doing pointless work just to survive. Shit idea.

The woman he misgendered multiple times uses her real name, and has a selfie as her pfp. He continued to misgender her, even after being corrected. He is a liar and a bully. This has been going on for weeks now because his ego will not allow him to just apologise like a normal human being. Pathetic.

“Had I been in the holocaust it wouldn’t have gone down like that” - Talib Kweli

The christmas decoration is finally up.

He's still crashing out. He's now arguing that Anne Frank benefitted from white privilege under the Nazi regime.

I really hate that man.

My car has started making a dodgy clunking sound when I go over bumps at low speed. My plan for dealing with it is to turn the music up and drive faster everywhere.

Accidentally painted my kitchen a bit like the trans rights flag. Very nice.

I should've taken drugs

I have taken over the music and we're listening exclusively to Hall & Oates and that's fucking final.

Right, we're speedrunning this. Ideally I want to be home by 19:00, watching Broadchurch in my jimjams with a nice cup of hot chocolate. I want to be in and out in an hour, tops. (Please never invite me to anything)

Work Christmas party this evening. There is no excitement in my heart because I do not drink, and I won't be able to hit the buffet in any meaningful way because I need to seem normal in public.

Whenever I'm stressed, I buy pyjamas to self-soothe. Getting a pretty solid collection together tbh.

Just left the house and realised I've accidentally dressed like Shaggy from Scooby Doo.

For fucks sake

If you're going to make an omelette, you're going to have to have some frank and honest discussion with the eggs.

"But they're here illegally" I promise you I do not give a single fuck

I do be farting

Perhaps the most toxic belief I've had to shed as an adult, is that work should be fulfilling. The idea that everyone has a calling, or that work should be our main sense of purpose is so harmful. It took me a long time to stop feeling like a failure simply because my career never made me happy.

Wishing a very happy birthday to @itsyagirlames.bsky.social 🩷 Amy was the first person I ever really spoke to when I joined bsky. She was so warm and welcoming. She's a wonderful person and you should send her your bestest best best wishes today because she deserves them xx

It's bedtime thank GOD

This is gorgeous actually.

Does anyone else struggle to play games that aren't multiplayer? It's not even that I'm mad sociable or whatever. I just get a bit bored if I'm solo gaming, I dunno why. Can do it for maybe an hour at most before I lose interest

Life hack: attach your keys to your nose ring so you never lose them.

I pointed out that you misgendered a trans woman on three separate occasions in one post, after you already misgendered her previously. You are claiming it was accidental, which is a ridiculous thing to say. You are now screeching into the void that I'm a racist, which is very on brand of you.

you're like the world's most tedious chatbot

I am becoming an insufferable coffee snob, I fear.

If your feminism isn't intersectional, you are not a feminist.

Protect the dolls.