STREAMING SERVICES NEED STOP RELEASING EPISODES WEEKLY BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BE TV I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO WAIT AGES FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

No more culture war. Only class war.

Look, you can't do anything about the Epstein stuff. That's a load-bearing paedophile ring.

£240m. With no tender. Palantir. I wrote to Wes Streeting last week demanding answers. Every day without any transparency deepens the scandal. Palantir out.

Rip sweet Teddy. You were the first and only cat I ever really loved. Not once did you ever randomly attack me. I appreciated that. I don't believe in heaven, but if it exists I hope you get to steal as many cocktail sausages and victoria sponge cakes as you want.

Every day as a European.

GUYS THE RAIN HAS STOPPED. I CAN SEE PATCHES OF BLUE SKY. A HINT OF SUNSHINE. I AM REBORN.

I actually can't wait for this creature to eat a bullet.

Gavin if you're reading this I'm sorry for being strange and off-putting

The catfishing today unlocked a cringe memory of me faking being american when I was 15 or so and I really committed to the bit despite being fully unable to yankify my accent. Remember a guy asking me where in California I was from and I had fucking NOTHING. Bit sus but I think I got away with it.

I am managing my account well actually

Not only is he a paedophile, but he's also the most unpopular paedophile.

I consider owning a tesla to be a moral failing at this point

If not gestapo why gestapo shaped?

Sky News: Danish PM Mette Freideriksen’s note in the visitors book when she visited UK today

I don't care if it's corny. This song is fantastic and Yes are dope. open.spotify.com/track/35ZNA3...

We have been told for nearly 30 years that America needed to tolerate mass shootings because the broad availability of guns would help us defend ourselves from an overreaching federal government. That day has come. The people who said this are supporting the federal agents. Many have joined them.

I'm not even American, but when that man won a second term I cried because I knew how cruel things were going to be for so many people. It hurt my soul. The video of what happened just now in minneapolis is devastating beyond words. My heart breaks for America, it really does.

So I was driving into town and at a set of traffic lights I looked over to the neighbouring car to see if we could maybe get a race going. He was eating what appeared to be a ready meal, using a credit card as a spoon. Fair enough. There's only one winner, and it's not me.

How freeing it must be to be completely unburdened by sensible thought.

We're so cooked. Driving tests are not difficult. The theory test is about as difficult as putting on a hat. I can't fathom being so lazy, stupid and incompetent that I'd need to cheat. I hate people jfc.

If not gestapo why gestapo shaped?

What's the difference between yoghurt and the USA? If yoghurt is left alone for 250 years, it develops a culture.

We're 19 days into 2026.

Deutsche Bank here with the good stuff. Game on.

just got out of an uber. the driver was telling me how he has to work 16 hour days, seven days a week, at two different jobs to afford rent. he doesn't have healthcare and he worries about retirement. "i would feel a lot better if we owned greenland," he told me. then he cried.

I am so sick of seeing his fucking name on the news every day. I don't want to see his name unless it's in a fucking obituary.

MAKE AMERICA BRITISH AGAIN

whoa dude nice tesla! oh no kidding, it comes with the grok integration? wow that’s so dope. you gonna get the mustache too? maybe the combover and the arm band? yea man might as well go all the way right?

As a white woman, if you stand up against white supremacy, you lose your proximity to whiteness. You no longer benefit from the protections that being white typically gives, and you'll be executed for being 'smug'. That's the price you pay.

"bluesky is boring" then youre a fake ass poster. youre not supposed to mindlessly scroll youre supposed to post your every thought for the five people who care about u

The old world is dying, and the new world struggles to be born: now is the time of monsters. - Antonio Gramsci

The sign of a sick society is giving Ricky Gervais comedy awards.

Absolutely not, you fucking loser. Bye.

My body is a machine that turns iced lattes into diarrhoea

Salami throwing builds in BG3 are unsurpassed and I refuse to play anything else.

Maybe I'll get my tubes tied

Every cell in my body screams at me to drink more water as I reach into the fridge for my third coke zero. Never give in.

I don't use twitter generally, but once every few months I log into my shitposting account to tell Elon to shut up and fuck off and die. Very valid use of my time. Anyway, I popped on there yesterday and saw Asmongold being foul about Renee Good, saying she deserved to be murdered, etc.

Some people will say that 10:20 in the morning is too early for a massive bowl of mac n cheese. Do not listen.

'Why can't I sleep?' I ask myself as I beam a bright light of anxiety inducing bullshit directly into my eyes via my phone.

I dunno chat, is it not a bit bleak that the best part of every day is going to bed? I wake up at 7 in the morning and from about 7:20 all I can think about the rest of the day is how much I can't fucking wait to go to sleep. It sustains me. Honestly it's the only thing that keeps me going.

A woman sitting in a car full of toys, surrounded by masked men with weapons, clearly panicking and reacting badly by trying to drive away, would never have been executed in any civilised society. America sinks lower by the day under the current administration. Utterly reprehensible.

As a global community we really need to become far more anti-American. What the fuck are they even doing?

My dog knocked a boiling hot cup of tea out of my hand and into my lap. The sudden pain made me feel a rush of pure rage and I kicked a door to express myself. Broke my toe. Couldn't stop laughing. So dumb.

I simply cannot stop farting. My apologies.

A social network for figure skaters and ice hockey players, I’ll call it RinkedIn.