oh to be a two year old open mouth coughing on the sidewalk

*high-fiving each plate on the back of a stegosaurus as I pass by him* good game good game good game

why cant i tell people my dream omens 😭 i cant just text my sister in the middle of the night "you should rest while you still have the chance" bc thats weird and ominous!! so im just supposed to sit on this omen alone??

what do you mean you have a baby? theyre letting people print birth certificates with 2025 on them??

why are there so many white people with "dreads" in germany 😭😭

i truly dont understand the fashion trend of very loose-fitting pants, they just look so bad to me i did, however, quite enjoy the peek of silky close-fitting boxer briefs i saw on the train today

she has grown sept through april blahaj for scale

trying not to panic about the possibility of big news tomorrow

about to commit a sin (going to bed with wet hair)

am i just depressed because it's been cloudy four days in a row

is the thought of how much worse id be feeling without the meds helping? with the feeling Bad? maybe

been alternatingly horny and sad for a couple days now the antidepressants are making it Weird

every new person is just a rejection huh

dnd really is just about lying to your friends for years at a time

fellas is it gay for your friend to give you a ride on his scooter?

im so sorry to all of my friends who have to listen to me whine about wanting a dog for another year before i predict ill feel stable enough to actually get one

I've been tuned into @anyaustin.bsky.social 's Skyrim stream all day... name a more iconic duo

the third one MISSED??

i wish i like, got horny anymore

dang, i dont have any of my old pride fits on here i had a bad dream and need to feel better, here have this

it is almost 15 minutes until easter sunday so natural this is when the church bells are ringing

i dont know if anyone got my joke... it was an affogato...

oopsie ive made a character with weird eye things happening two campaigns in a row

i cant be trusted around a boy with an irish accent

i wonder if your ai chatbot knows everything about me

i knew this was going to be a difficult but wow i am struggling

did i used to worry that i was getting carbon monoxide poisoning sometimes? yes. do i miss gas burners on the stovetop? so much

im losing my mind, do they know how math works?? how would a 5% tax reduce their wealth by 50% wapo is useless

do you think people notice when i physically recoil from them chewing too loud do you think they could start

looking up why i might feel down after a run and the first search result is the wikipedia page for clinical depression like damn we knew but you aint gotta do me like that

i was on abolish police six years ago so like yeah getting rid of ice is barely a start tbh

look it's just that hearing that the person i broke up with a year ago might have had an entire gender transition since then was not news i expected to receive today

how much longer do we think i can avoid watching another sondheim production?

i caught up and now september through january is fully assembled!

we are laying on the floor level of sad today

making everyone look at my blanket in progress again bc it hasnt gotten enough attention

wanna watch jurassic park and poke holes in all the science together?

i met my friend's dog today and she is sooo sweet and so pretty like exactly the kind of dog i want and it was so fun to play with her on the icy paths and now i really want a dog

now im missing the intimacy of showering with someone add it to the list

look, in my experience, one of us is going to fall in love here, so we should just get it over with and kiss now

it is negative six celsius out, what obligations could i possibly have no, i am meant to be cozy and enjoy the quiet winter

launching a firework from the middle of a crowd sure is a choice

feeling very normal about the many little explosions happening outside my door

im sickly :c someone come give me lymph massages and back rubs 😭

landed me another aroace baddie ✌️😛

doing new crafts that require just like a little patience means telling myself repeatedly "i can do difficult things 😤"

is it still an allegory if theyre gay right in the text?

i never say goodnight, instead i warn my friends that the goo is nigh i dont think they heed my warnings

who wants to play runescape with me

ah yes it is the time of year again when people get worried that im not wearing enough layers as though i have not survived almost 30 winters just fine