Recently I’ve tried to imagine what life would be like if I was still a boy and I actually can’t do it. It’s like asking what my life would be like as a tree

Today the bus driver told an elaborate story to roughly 50 sweating people about meeting a failed chicago mayoral candidate in vegas. he then apologized for being 20 minutes behind schedule

I simply do not believe jelly beans are made with the finest ingredients from around the world

forcing my friends to try every flavor of pringles with me like an evil momma bird returning with pizza dusted worms

how two little cats can make so much piss, is what i want to know

Can’t believe I’m yelling at my tv about marbles #ROBUSTRASPBERRIES

getting ragebaited by youtube recommending me videos like "two hours of weirdo internet music" and then the thumbnail is brat and visions

shoutout to the acura integra with the brazzers plate frame

I can't explain it but canned rice is so odd to me

Did you know carnival rides can legally remove safety pins on the last day of operation? It’s fun for the whole family!

just got some really bad news so would love some nice or funny things to distract me while i finish off this box of kleenex

limping around because i stubbed my toe real bad. continuing my string of cartoon injuries, please be mindful of where you leave your rakes

might go see james cameron's new 3D epic (billie eilish concert film)

while at great america one of the roller coasters broke down right as we were about to get on and I got to sit on the ground and watch them fix it for 30 minutes. other people couldn't see the mechanic as well so they got annoyed and left

I can't stop thinking about roller coasters, I close my eyes and it's shivering timbers

would you believe there’s a direct lineage from the world’s fair ferris wheel to this guy?

I like to think I’m not a hater but then I go and try to make a top 100 movies list and bottom out at like 40

Baseball is the Catholicism of sports

why do i still only have one pair of earrings?

what do you mean mike posner put out a sequel to "took a pill in ibiza" 10 years later that's about finding god

really looking forward to watching my new DVD, "ULTIMATE CHICAGO" (4 hours of Metra train rides on 2 discs)

cave story rap walkthrough is transcendent. can't believe this is a real sentence.

All I know is I’m a girl dating the coolest person in the coolest city with a lot of love in my life and it ain’t much more complicated than that

I can’t stop thinking about Andy Serkis’s animated adaptation of Animal Farm starring Seth Rogen. Saylor and I are gonna be the only two people to see it in theaters

dealing with new hp release discourse every few years like a goddamn election season

Amazing what growing my hair an extra 2 inches has done for people gendering me correctly

i need a cute watch

just ordered a flip phone, opening suggestions for lanyard charms

They’re doing something unholy to make the limoncello lacroix taste like this

Finally got my ipod working again. Now to wait a month as it slowly syncs 2k new tracks

are you a trans ally? performative or otherwise? can i interest you in sharing or donating to keep my friend alive? 💖

godDAMN Florry puts on a good show! Not sure if I’ve seen another artist having that much fun playing

Every artist should be putting official karaoke versions on youtube. When I’m president

HAPPY "THE WHOLE PLOT OF THE ZERO ESCAPE GAMES STARTS TODAY" DAY the one and only that will be watch out for snails

Having too much fun setting up a forum. We never needed to progress beyond bbcode and smileys

If anyone has tips for not crashing out over everyday dysphoria you should send them to me

the olive jar is trying to convince me the serving size is one olive like it’s a daily vitamin

Everyone was on their best pronouns behavior today

Happy International Women's Day to the original International Woman

Society has finally advanced far enough to answer the question, “what does your check feel like at the bank?”

Power went out in the theater watching NTBTSTM when they started talking about lightning

Extremely normal girl starter pack

Had a dream I was being chased by a Charli xcx impersonator

Milla Jovovich snapping zombie necks with her thighs is gym inspo

God help me I’m getting mad at the oscars again

Highly recommend short stories for folks trying to get back into reading. Less intimidating than a novel and easier to parse than poetry. Also they often come in collections so if you like it you can just read the next story and pretty soon you’ve read a goddamn book.

need people to understand the nuance of nathalie vs natalie

When they catch me shoplifting ants

Cut my finger on a loaf of bread

Didn’t think I’d ever care about a Mitski album again but here we are (more steel guitar plz)