“You wanna bag for that?” “No, I’ll just pay for it…”

I really enjoyed the Starfleet Academy premiere but I really don’t enjoy that everyone in modern Star Trek keeps mispronouncing the word “aspera”

🤷‍♂️

we had the Chipmunks sing the Beatles album growing up and I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard any of these songs sung by the Beatles themselves

check out this diva

so are you gonna tell us which app or not

I will vote for the candidate who promises to knock down this ballroom

this is going to sound weird but I’m so glad that humans evolved with so many nerve endings in their butts because putting things in there is so fun now

haven’t done a monochrome monday in a while, do you like the skin up or pulled back?

Michael Keaton backed out of Golden Girls!??

new sense dropped

Hi! 2019 was 7 years ago 🤗

reskeet if you died by December 31, 2025

As someone who got asshole surgery last year…this tracks

Hi! 2019 was 7 years ago 🤗

that’s Florida being inundated by rising sea levels

god p*ppers spills really do suck huh

how come the kennedy curse gets everyone except

Wow, this actually worked, thanks to everyone who send and email to HBO lol

the same thing people have done after every election since the beginning of democracy?

Greece in 1822:

orally

It is at my house

real midwesterners know this was a sick burn

I haven’t had a day off in weeks, let me live 😩

this is the only day you can post this

…………..well

When I, Mr. Oblivious, can tell you’re coked out of your mind, it’s bad 🥴

Next year they will point to the high prices they created as proof the entire law has failed and try to repeal it entirely. Republicans love intentionally ruining things and then getting rid of them because “they don’t work”

this is bait to try to get me to talk about gros michel vs cavendish bananas

The people who made Heated Rivalry, probably: “Canadians sound just like Americans, we don’t need to hire a dialect coach” The American characters on Heated Rivalry: “See you to-more-oh”

I did the math and Christmas will only be my 4th day off since Oct 13 🥴

ohhhhhh she went full crazy

live footage of me giving poppers to some twink for the first time

Miss Coco Peru:

My favorite part of the show is that it mirrors the progress of a gay relationship: at first it’s all about the sex but by episode 5 they don’t even show the sex anymore and it’s all about feelings

to whomever dm’ed me I will get to your message as soon as I am back in a normal state that doesn’t make me prove my age to talk to people on the internet

they really just left that second “the” huh

it only works on dog brains

iykyk

one of the weirdest things Americans do is say empire STATE building

not you literally stuck where the trade left you

ugh it happened again but it’s 43 this time

You can tell who’s midwestern because they all suggested something other than directly saying “you need to leave now”

Heated Rivalry is such a huge success and media execs are so oblivious to what people like and why they consume media that I’m sure we’ll get 10 new shows about hockey next year

Maple Town!!!

Not only do we realize it, we talk about it a lot, usually over a cocktail